punjabiplaya Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 Sat down in a public toilet 2day & a voice came from the next cubicle "hello mate, how u doin?" I thought it a bit strange, but didn't wana be rude, so i said "not 2 bad thanks" After a short pause i heard the voice again. "so, what r u up 2 ?" I answered, somewhat reluctantly "just having a quick ****...How bout urself?" Then i heard him say "sorry mate, I'll have 2 call u back. I've got some **** in the next cubicle answering everything i say!".
punjabiplaya Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 A RASTA WALKS INTO THE BANK WITH A BAG FULL OF GANJA AND WHACKS IT ON THE COUNTER. THE ASTONISHED CASHIER ASKS "WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU"? TO WHICH HE REPLIES "YEH MAN, ME WANA HOPEN HUP A JOINT ACCOUNT"! To satisfy a woman: Praise her! Pamper her! Humour her! Cuddle her! Hold her tight! Kiss her! Phone her! Charm her! Romance her! Talk to her! Listen to her! Respect her! LOVE her! To satisfy a man: SUCK HIS c**k!!! Job Done!
Temujin Khaghan Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 The government recently asked the British public- "Are there too many immigrants in Britain?" 12% said ”Yes” 88% said "عهد امن بواش" Sat down in a public toilet 2day & a voice came from the next cubicle "hello mate, how u doin?" I thought it a bit strange, but didn't wana be rude, so i said "not 2 bad thanks" After a short pause i heard the voice again. "so, what r u up 2 ?" I answered, somewhat reluctantly "just having a quick ****...How bout urself?" Then i heard him say "sorry mate, I'll have 2 call u back. I've got some **** in the next cubicle answering everything i say!". :hysterical:
dev.goswami Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Woman goes to the doctors with a black eye . She says 'its my husband every time he's drunk he beats me.' DR Says 'the only cure is to hum. When he comes in ranting & raging just hum away to yourself.' She comes back two weeks later & says 'Dr that was a great idea he hasn't hit me once.' The Dr said 'i thought keeping your ****in mouth shut might help' :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 19, 2010 Author Posted February 19, 2010 One day Superman was feeling horny & asked his Superhero friends where he could get some action. Everyone agreed Wonder Woman was the best shag in Comic Land. 'But she & I are friends, I can't take advantage of her', said Superman. l0 minutes later he's flying low over the city & sees Wonder Woman lying in a field naked with her legs apart & thinks, I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in & out before she knows I'm here. So with a sonic boom & a blur he's down, in & gone. Wonder Woman stares at the sky & says, 'What the Hell was that?' 'Don't know', says The Invisible Man, 'but my **** is killing me'
punjabiplaya Posted February 19, 2010 Author Posted February 19, 2010 Paddy hates his wife's cat so much he drives to the next town and dumps it. When he gets home its there. Next day he drives 50 miles and dumps it.When he gets home,its there again. So next day he drives to other side of the country and dumps it.Six hours later he rings his wife and asks ''is the cat home?'' ''Yes,why?'' asks his wife ''Put the fecker on'' he says ''I'm fecking lost !''
punjabiplaya Posted February 19, 2010 Author Posted February 19, 2010 I've got an paki friend called ahmed and I popped round to see him today. When I got there I saw spray-painted right across the front of his house PAKIS OUT!'. I thought that's a bit extreme. He could have just left a note on the door saying he wasn't in.
dev.goswami Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 One day Superman was feeling horny & asked his Superhero friends where he could get some action. Everyone agreed Wonder Woman was the best shag in Comic Land. 'But she & I are friends, I can't take advantage of her', said Superman. l0 minutes later he's flying low over the city & sees Wonder Woman lying in a field naked with her legs apart & thinks, I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in & out before she knows I'm here. So with a sonic boom & a blur he's down, in & gone. Wonder Woman stares at the sky & says, 'What the Hell was that?' 'Don't know', says The Invisible Man, 'but my **** is killing me' Felt sorry 4 the hypnotist I saw last night. He put 7 rugby players in a trance but dropped his microphone on his foot & yelled 'F**k me'. What happened next will haunt me forever. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 A big dirty farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "this is the pig i have to f**k when you're not up for sex". His wife says: "I think you'll find that's a sheep" He says: "I was talking to the sheep!"
dev.goswami Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Englishman, scot &a paki go to work on a farm but theres only 2beds left so one has to sleep in the stable. Englishman says he'll do it but 5 minutes later he returns saying he can't stand the smell of the donkey.The jock offers but returns 5 minutes later saying the stench is impossible to cope with.The paki takes his turn then 5 minutes later theres a knock at the door and its the donkey....... :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted February 21, 2010 Author Posted February 21, 2010 Rumour has it you got mugged last night and the robber gave you 2 options, 1. Suck his **** or 2. Give him your phone. I see you still have your phone
punjabiplaya Posted February 21, 2010 Author Posted February 21, 2010 7yr & 4yr old are upstairs in their bedroom. "U know what?" says 7yr old "I think its time we startd swearin. When we go downstairs for breakfast I'll swear 1st then u". "OK" sez 4yr old. Mum asks 7yr old what he wants for breakfast. "I'll have Cocopops,b***h". WHACK,he flew out of his chair cryin his eyes out. Mum lookd at 4yr old & says sternly "And what do u want for breakfast?" "I don't know" he blubbers "but it wont be feckin cocopops!"
punjabiplaya Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 i know its old but the fresh prince of punjab not bel air In West Chandigaar I was Born & Raised, In The Pendh House Is Where I Spent Most Of My Days. Chilling & Relaxing & Eating Some Roti, Flirtin wiv The Kuri's While Drinking Some Lassi. When A Couple Of Gundas Who Were Up To no good, Started "Dusham! Dusham" In My Neighbourhood. They Made A Right Old Mess & My Daddyji Got Scared and said- "You're Moving To Your Masi's In Phagwara Instead!" I Whistled For A Rikshaw, It Came The Next Day, Told Him Where To Go & I Weren't Gonna Pay. I Knew I Smelt Something It Was The Oil In His Hair, If Anything But I Thought "Bale! Bale! Bale!" I Pulled Up To A House About One Or Two, Got Out The Rikshaw & Stepped On to Some Poo. Looked At My Kingdom I Was Finally There, To Sit On My Manja & Breathe The Sweet Desi Air!!!
Desi Cartman Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 punjabiplaya, we all enjoy your jokes but every few days you cross the line. Please be careful
dev.goswami Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 punjabiplaya' date=' we all enjoy your jokes but every few days you cross the line. Please be careful[/quote'] enjoy????ya some are good but the last three were complete :fail:
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