punjabiplaya Posted March 26, 2010 Author Posted March 26, 2010 Husband & wife at Tesco, he puts a box of Stella in trolley. "What you think ur doing ?" Asks wife. "It's on offer, £10 for 24 cans" "Put em back we can't afford it" says wife. A few aisles on wife picks up £20 jar of face cream & puts it in trolley. "What u doing?" Asks husband "It makes my face look beautiful" she says. Husband says "So does 24 cans of Stella & it's half the fecking price!" another for gaurav
punjabiplaya Posted March 26, 2010 Author Posted March 26, 2010 Pls note.Theres an appeal 4 a Nigerian boy Jonah Umbongo.He walks 8 miles a day 2 fetch water in dedly heat.Jst £2 a month can help teach him 2 read & write so he can av a better life.WARNING: DON'T HELP HIM!He'l den grow up,get a visa,enter Britain & walk 20 miles a day 2 put a parking ticket on ur car!
punjabiplaya Posted March 26, 2010 Author Posted March 26, 2010 What have a pelican and the inland revenue got in common? They can both shove their bills up their ****!
punjabiplaya Posted March 26, 2010 Author Posted March 26, 2010 A girl is standing at the gates of heaven when she hears horrible screams of pain coming from inside. She asks St Peter what it is. He says "That's the sound of angels getting holes drilled in their backs for wings, and their heads for halos." She says "I think I'd rather go to hell!" St. Peter replies "In hell you will be raped and buggered!" She replies, "Yeah, but I already got the fecking holes for that!"
punjabiplaya Posted March 28, 2010 Author Posted March 28, 2010 HUSBAND: When I get mad at u, u never fight back. How do u control ur anger? WIFE: I clean the toilet HUSBAND: How does that help? WIFE: I use ur toothbrush! A starving Asylum seeker is greeted at Dover by a Good Fairy who grants him 3 wishes! He says "I'm hungry" Pow! a banquet appears! He says "I want a nice house" Pow! a mansion with a pool appears! "I want to be British!" Pow! everything vanishes! He asks "Where's everything gone?" Fairy says "You're British now and entitled to FECK ALL!" Don't forget to alter your clocks this weekend........ I'm putting mine back to 1920 when we had no Fecking pakis!
punjabiplaya Posted March 28, 2010 Author Posted March 28, 2010 With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote 'The Hokey Kokey' died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him in the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the fecking trouble started. Man says to wife, "I had to show my grey chest hair to get my pension today". Wife says, "You should show them your dick, we'd get disability allowance Teacher called paddy to her desk. "Your essay you wrote about your dog is word for word the same as your brothers" she said. "Well of course it is" replied paddy "its the same feckin dog".
Laaloo Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Don't forget to alter your clocks this weekend........ I'm putting mine back to 1920 when we had no Fecking pakis! :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted March 28, 2010 Author Posted March 28, 2010 All the organs of the body were having a meeting trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I shld b in charge,"said the brain,"because I run all the bodys systems,so without me nothing wld happen." "I shld b in charge,"said the blood,"coz I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away." "I shld b in charge,"said the rectum,"coz I'm responsible 4 waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him,so in a huff,he shut down tight. Within a few days the brain had a terrible headache,the stomach was bloated and the blood was toxic. They all decided the rectum shld b the boss. The moral of the story? Even though all the others do all the work ... The ass hole is usually in charge!!!
punjabiplaya Posted March 28, 2010 Author Posted March 28, 2010 for the uk boys Polish Woman stows away on ship so she can start new life in America. 3 weeks later she is found & brought before the captain, he asks "what r u doing on my boat." She replies, " one of your sailors is stowing me away to America. He brings me 3 meals a day and in return I let him feck me every nite." Captain replies "Oh he's feckin you all right,This is the Woolwich ferry!"
punjabiplaya Posted March 28, 2010 Author Posted March 28, 2010 Indian man on his death bed. Kuljit are u here? Hanji papa. Surjit are u here? Hanji papa. Baljit are u here? Hanji papa. PEHNCHOD WHO THE HELL IS AT THE SHOP??? :hysterical:
Laaloo Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 A Pakistani terrorist has been shot dead by the Metropolitan police! When asked why the paki had 168 bullet wounds a spokesman replied "that's all we had" :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Guest Hiten. Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 thats what jokes are about gaurav..being able to laugh at each other thers no malice involved except where pakis are concerned....:giggle: Dude, I and other mods have politely requested you numerous times to not post any racist joke. I do not give a **** to what defines a joke and if you intend any malice or not. ONE more racist joke and you can kiss goodbye. I definitely am not joking and intend the malice that you've been spreading on this part of the forum.
Dravid Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Indian man on his death bed. Kuljit are u here? Hanji papa. Surjit are u here? Hanji papa. Baljit are u here? Hanji papa. PEHNCHOD WHO THE HELL IS AT THE SHOP??? :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: keep the shyt coming :two_thumbs_up:
gaurav92 Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Playa you may post some jokes on Pakis, but dont cross the line with ant religious jokes, they may hurt someone.This will just spoil the name of the forum.Just post jokes that dont intend to harm any certain group of people or a religion in particular.
punjabiplaya Posted March 28, 2010 Author Posted March 28, 2010 A man rings his boss n says 'I wont be at work today, I've got anal blindness.' Boss says 'What the fecks that?' He says 'I can't see my ass getting out of bed today'
punjabiplaya Posted March 28, 2010 Author Posted March 28, 2010 10 ways 2 tell ur an indian... 1. U go 2 drop 1 person at the airport, but take 50 extra people with u. 2. Ur entire family runs when they see a dog. 3. Paracetamol is ur answer 2 every illness. 4. At the age of 30 u still think u can get away with paying a childs fare on the bus. 5. Ur unable 2 open the front door bcuz of all the shoes blockin the porch. 6. Ur related 2 a jit, dip, eep, prito,jito or bhajan. 7. U arrive late @ every party. 8. You own a mercedes Benz. 9. U just can't get rid of that pakora smell off ur jacket. 10. At a wedding the cameraman only films u when ur eatin. Go on be honest u know 8 out of 10 are true!
Desi Cartman Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 10 ways 2 tell ur an indian... 1. U go 2 drop 1 person at the airport, but take 50 extra people with u. 2. Ur entire family runs when they see a dog. 3. Paracetamol is ur answer 2 every illness. 4. At the age of 30 u still think u can get away with paying a childs fare on the bus. 5. Ur unable 2 open the front door bcuz of all the shoes blockin the porch. 6. Ur related 2 a jit, dip, eep, prito,jito or bhajan. 7. U arrive late @ every party. 8. You own a mercedes Benz. 9. U just can't get rid of that pakora smell off ur jacket. 10. At a wedding the cameraman only films u when ur eatin. Go on be honest u know 8 out of 10 are true! 4/9 :aetsch:
gaurav92 Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 10 ways 2 tell ur an indian... 1. U go 2 drop 1 person at the airport, but take 50 extra people with u. 2. Ur entire family runs when they see a dog. 3. Paracetamol is ur answer 2 every illness. 4. At the age of 30 u still think u can get away with paying a childs fare on the bus. 5. Ur unable 2 open the front door bcuz of all the shoes blockin the porch. 6. Ur related 2 a jit, dip, eep, prito,jito or bhajan. 7. U arrive late @ every party. 8. You own a mercedes Benz. 9. U just can't get rid of that pakora smell off ur jacket. 10. At a wedding the cameraman only films u when ur eatin. Go on be honest u know 8 out of 10 are true! You dont have to tell these things to prove or show you are an indian or not.Just use your brain, and people will recognise that yes you are an Indian.
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