punjabiplaya Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 John Terry tried to put the racism trial behind him by taking his family to the zoo."Come here, kids," he said, pointing through the glass. "Look at that monkey! Ooh ooh ooh!"The whole family laughed, before Terry pulled his wallet out and said, "Sorry, mate. Two adults and two children, please."
punjabiplaya Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 Our records indicate that you were once felt up by Jimmy Saville and could be entitled to £2147 in compensation. Just reply "how's about that then" to register or to opt out just text "stop Jimmy stop". Register before the end of the month and get a free "Lawyers 4 U fixed it for me" medal
punjabiplaya Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 One of those Asians accused of grooming young girls in Rochdale was known locally as Jamaal Fixit.
punjabiplaya Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 Can you describe the assailant who assaulted you Sir?" asked the Policeman. I replied "Well it was all very quick officer but I recall he had pale skin & ginger hair". He said "That's not really a lot to go on Sir, but don't worry, we'll catch the black bast*rd".
punjabiplaya Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 The hardest job in the world has to be a Police sketch artist in China
punjabiplaya Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 The woman who invented the phrase "All men are the same", was a Chinese woman who lost her husband in a crowd in China
Desi Cartman Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I played FIFA with my brother last night. He was beating me, so being a bad loser, I turned the machine off. "You ****ing ****," he said, switching his dialysis back on. Lol
Lord Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 The woman who invented the phrase "All men are the same"' date=' was a Chinese woman who lost her husband in a crowd in China[/quote'] :hysterical:
Crookbond Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 It is said that if you close your eyes, you see the person you love the most. and when i do that, . . SlideShow begins
1983-2011 Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 I've been going through some real money troubles. Realising this, my Gran gave me her pearl earrings. "They've been passed down through the generations," she said, "but needs must." Great. Now I'm broke and I look super gay as well.
1983-2011 Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 I just received a call from an Indian telemarketer. So I handed the phone to my three year old son and told him that Santa Claus is on the phone. Their conversation has been going on for ages!
Crookbond Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 MJ Lumb c Smith b Malinga 28 (22b 4x4 0x6) SR: 127.27 Sydney Sixers 33/1 (4.4/20 ov) :facepalm:
1983-2011 Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 :facepalm: :WTF: is that what you do all day looking for other peoples mistakes like not quoting an article or not wrapping a quote around a copied article??? i had two threads opened and i posted in the wrong thread and deleted it straight away but i guess you were lurking there waiting for people to slip up so u could facepalm them
Crookbond Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 :WTF: is that what you do all day looking for other peoples mistakes like not quoting an article or not wrapping a quote around a copied article??? i had two threads opened and i posted in the wrong thread and deleted it straight away but i guess you were lurking there waiting for people to slip up so u could facepalm them :giggle: I just happened to be here when you posted (check my post time). I noticed you deleted but still want to just have some fun. You fell for it. :cantstop:
1983-2011 Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 :giggle: I just happened to be here when you posted (check my post time). I noticed you deleted but still want to just have some fun. You fell for it. :cantstop: ok my bad:friends:, i fell for it but i hate these two smiles on icf:wall::facepalm: so i get abit pissed off when someone does it for no reasons:angelic:
Crookbond Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 ok my bad:friends:' date=' i fell for it but i hate these two smiles on icf:wall::facepalm: so i get abit pissed off when someone does it for no reasons:angelic:[/quote'] :two_thumbs_up: It's okay mate! Just like I hate when someone does not quote Internet text. :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 Noticing a fat couple kissing, my girlfriend said, "Have you ever been out with a fat girl before?" "No, you're the first," probably wasn't the best response
Old guy Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Noticing a fat couple kissing, my ex girlfriend said, "Have you ever been out with a fat girl before?" "No, you're the first," probably wasn't the best response corrected:cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 Two more victims have come forward in the BBC abuse scandal. They claim they were regularly fisted and fingered by elderly men on a weekly basis and then locked away after this abuse until the next week. Both sooty and sweep claim they where so traumatized it left them speechless!!!
punjabiplaya Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 Viagra have just released a new pill called Viagra 007, it doesn't make u harder it just makes you Roger Moore.
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