punjabiplaya Posted May 15, 2013 Author Posted May 15, 2013 Fernando Torres was arrested on suspicion of rape too this morning however was immediately released due to a lack of evidence that he can finish inside the box
punjabiplaya Posted May 15, 2013 Author Posted May 15, 2013 My wife accused me of ruining her birthday yesterday. "Boll*cks" I said. "I didn't even know it was your birthday." :--D
anotherhawkeye Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 A husband frantically calls hotel management from his hotel room, 'Please come quickly, I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump out the window of your hotel'. The manager replies 'Sir that's a personal matter'. Husband says 'Like hell it is! The window won't open so that's a maintenance matter!' :hysterical: :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 Q. If Loic Remy,Chad Evans & Titus Bramble are in the back of a car, Who's driving? A. The Police.
punjabiplaya Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 Last night I came in my girlfriend's mouth for the very first time, I can't wait to tell her i've found a cure for her snoring
punjabiplaya Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 "Do you ever think about somebody else when we're making love?" My wife asked. "No." I replied. "It's always been your sister."
Sidhoni Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 When I got home my wife had 2 of her friends the, Here he is, she said. We were just talking about having a foursome, if you're up to it ! She smiled and winked. Two minutes later, I appeared naked with my dick in my hand. They all had tennis rackets in theirs... :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: As my girlfriend walked out of the shower she said to me all seductively. "I shaved my pussy, you know what that means right?" I said "Yeah, it means the fecking drain is clogged again." :haha: :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 I was shocked to see my well fit divorced neighbour knocking on my door last night.. "im so horny that i cant stand it" she said, "i want to go out, get drunk & have a good shag! Are you free tonight?".. Feckin right i am, i replied, enthusiastically.. "Wonderfull" she said, "can you babysit?
punjabiplaya Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 The only way I can get a blow job is by using a fruit-flavoured condom and telling the missus it counts towards her 5 a day :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 I kept getting random unwanted erections, unfortunately one of my friends found out and hasnt stopped going on about it since I told him to respect my privacy during these very hard times :cantstop:
gaurav92 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 I kept getting random unwanted erections, unfortunately one of my friends found out and hasnt stopped going on about it since I told him to respect my privacy during these very hard times :cantstop: :cantstop:
Sachin=GOD Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Lalu:Murkh admi ki biwi bahut sundar hoti hai. . Rabdi: Aap k pas to humre tarif k alawa aurr kono kaam nahi !!
adi B Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I was shocked to see my well fit divorced neighbour knocking on my door last night.. "im so horny that i cant stand it" she said' date=' "i want to go out, get drunk & have a good shag! Are you free tonight?".. Feckin right i am, i replied, enthusiastically.. "Wonderfull" she said, "can you babysit?[/quote'] :cantstop:
adi B Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 pakis are an odd bunch. Today, for instance, I noticed one had left his ruck sack on the bus. I didn't get one word of thanks when I returned it to his house. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: omfg :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
adi B Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 "It's 2 in the morning and you come crawling in with a ****ing love bite on your neck?" she screamed. "Sorry dear, we were playing away at Anfield again this week." "Fair enough love" :haha: awesome work playa :two_thumbs_up:
adi B Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 The cops pull over a paki driving a transit on the dual carraigeway. Copper says "You do know the limit is 60 don't you?" Paki looks behind him and says to his family "Hear that, six of you will have to get out" :cantstop: :hysterical:
1983-2011 Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 When I see lovers' names carved into a tree I don't think it's cute, I just think it's strange how many people take knives on a date.
1983-2011 Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 According to the laws of gravity, four small attractive girls will always rotate like moons around their one fat friend at a nightclub.
maniac Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 Just heard this one on twitter Why did the kaam vaali bai run away after washing the utensils? Because they became shiney :hysterical:
gaurav92 Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 Just heard this one on twitter Why did the kaam vaali bai run away after washing the utensils? Because they became shiney :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
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