punjabiplaya Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 The Lucozade Sport advert featuring Ashley Young is absolute boll*cks. I've never seen that little fecker run that far without falling over.
punjabiplaya Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 What's the "N" word you never want to call a black man? Neighbour. :haha::haha:
punjabiplaya Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 My pakistani neighbour and i have been having heated rows about the car parking space outside, i say it's mine and he says it's his, so i came up with a plan. I said, "Tell you what, to decide who can have it i'll kick you in the boll*cks, and then you kick me, and so on until one of us quits." "Ok" he replied, so i stepped back about 20 paces, ran as fast as i could and kicked him so hard he vomited. After about 20 minutes later he got up and croaked "Right, my turn!" "Keep the fecking parking space" i said, "I'll put my mountain bike in the house" :hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 My wife and I have started using blindfolds to spice up our sex life. I put them on and pretend she's not so fecking fat and ugly. :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 Man Utd have dropped their nickname Red Devils. They will now be called "Port Talbot" as they are somewhere between Swansea and Cardiff !
punjabiplaya Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 My mate phoned me last night and moaned, "I fecking hate where I live. I've got nig**rs on both sides, nig**rs over the way...and every c**t I bump into outside my door is another fecking nig*er." "What do you expect?", I said. "You're in fecking prison" :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 I love Halloween it's the only time of year I can be seen in public with the wife :--D
punjabiplaya Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please press 1?" So I did. I don't remember much afterwards. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Laaloo Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 What's the "N" word you never want to call a black man? Neighbour. :haha::haha: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Debutant Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please press 1?" So I did. I don't remember much afterwards. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical: PunjabiPlaya :two_thumbs_up:
SLICKR392 Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 My mate phoned me last night and moaned, "I fecking hate where I live. I've got nig**rs on both sides, nig**rs over the way...and every c**t I bump into outside my door is another fecking nig*er." "What do you expect?", I said. "You're in fecking prison" :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Ouch !!!:hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 This interviewer stopped me in the street and asked, "Excuse me sir, are you in a loving relationship?" "No," I replied, "I'm married." :--D
SLICKR392 Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this she can't stand it any longer! The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this and says, "What's wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?" The woman replies, "He's a midget!" Recently a man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his dick after his mistress found the ring in his trouser pocket and got so mad at him she stuck it on him while he was asleep I don't know what's worse: 1) Having your mistress find out you're married. 2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your dick 3) Or finding out your dick fits through your wedding ring
Desi Cartman Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please press 1?" So I did. I don't remember much afterwards. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
gaurav92 Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this she can't stand it any longer! The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this and says, "What's wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?" The woman replies, "He's a midget!" Recently a man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his dick after his mistress found the ring in his trouser pocket and got so mad at him she stuck it on him while he was asleep I don't know what's worse: 1) Having your mistress find out you're married. 2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your dick 3) Or finding out your dick fits through your wedding ring :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 There was a fat girl on the checkouts at the supermarket today and I noticed a partially covered up tattoo on her arm. "What's your tattoo of?" I asked. "It's a picture of something that means more to me than anything else in the world," she replied. I thought about it for a minute. "Your fridge?" She now refuses to serve me. :--D
punjabiplaya Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 A woman at work accused me of being sexist and derogatory towards woman. That's total nonsense I love woman, especially the ones with big tits. :finger:
Desi Cartman Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 A woman at work accused me of being sexist and derogatory towards woman. That's total nonsense I love woman, especially the ones with big tits. :finger: :hysterical:
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