Desi Cartman Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Paddy has broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him. Mick says, "How you doin?" "Paddy says, "Okay, but do me a favour mate, run upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing." Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters lying on the bed... He says, "Yo -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Have more than one Hotmail account? Link them together to easily access both. OMFG fwd .... super lame you have copied the whole email .. including the ad
Aqua Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 OMFG fwd .... super lame you have copied the whole email .. including the ad :hysterical::hysterical:
Gambit Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Paddy has broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him. Mick says, "How you doin?" "Paddy says, "Okay, but do me a favour mate, run upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing." Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters lying on the bed... He says, "Your dad's sent me up here to have sex with both of you." They say, "Get away with ya.... prove it." Mick shouts downstairs, "Paddy, both of em?" Paddy shouts back, "Of course both of em, what's the point of ****in one?" :haha: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Have more than one Hotmail account? Link them together to easily access both. :hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 Actually i had it on my blackberry so forwarded to my email then just pasted it soory bout that good joke though :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 Kids know far too much these days , This morning whilst in the doctors waiting room, I saw a little girl playing with her Barbie & Ken dolls immitating the doggy position, I bent down & told her, "You'll end up with little baby dolls if you keep doing that." she replied, "I don't think so, he's doing her up the **** !"
Desi Cartman Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Kids know far too much these days ' date=' This morning whilst in the doctors waiting room, I saw a little girl playing with her Barbie & Ken dolls immitating the doggy position, I bent down & told her, "You'll end up with little baby dolls if you keep doing that." she replied, "I don't think so, he's doing her up the **** !"[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Jadoo Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Kids know far too much these days ' date=' This morning whilst in the doctors waiting room, I saw a little girl playing with her Barbie & Ken dolls immitating the doggy position, I bent down & told her, "You'll end up with little baby dolls if you keep doing that." she replied, "I don't think so, he's doing her up the **** !"[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 Man has a sex change to become a woman. His mate asks "Didnt it hurt when they chopped ya **** & balls off?" He replied "Not as much as when they shrank my brain & widened my gob"
Guest Hiten. Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Punjabiplaya, you really need to stop posting jokes with racial remarks in it.
punjabiplaya Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 WOMEN'S LONELY HEARTS ADS - What they really mean: ADVENTUROUS = ****. ATHLETIC = No tits. 30 SOMETHING = 41. FUN = Annoying. WILD = Gets pissed easily. BEAUTIFUL EYES = Face like a robber's dog. SEEKS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR = Ex-Husbands a ****ing nutter. . HEADSTRONG = Argumentative. ENJOYS PUBBING & CLUBBING = Alcoholic. CURVY = Fat *****. CUDDLY = Fat *****. LIKES EATING OUT = Greedy fat *****. LIKES NIGHTS IN = Lazy fat *****.
punjabiplaya Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 Did you see they found that man's wife alive in Haiti after being buried for a week? Thats the sort of ****ing luck I'd have! A guy says to his wife 'I had a wet dream about you last night'. She says 'really? what happened?' ....'you got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing!'
gaurav92 Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Kids know far too much these days ' date=' This morning whilst in the doctors waiting room, I saw a little girl playing with her Barbie & Ken dolls immitating the doggy position, I bent down & told her, "You'll end up with little baby dolls if you keep doing that." she replied, "I don't think so, he's doing her up the **** !"[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
dev.goswami Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 WOMEN'S LONELY HEARTS ADS - What they really mean: ADVENTUROUS = ****. ATHLETIC = No tits. 30 SOMETHING = 41. FUN = Annoying. WILD = Gets pissed easily. BEAUTIFUL EYES = Face like a robber's dog. SEEKS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR = Ex-Husbands a ****ing nutter. . HEADSTRONG = Argumentative. ENJOYS PUBBING & CLUBBING = Alcoholic. CURVY = Fat *****. CUDDLY = Fat *****. LIKES EATING OUT = Greedy fat *****. LIKES NIGHTS IN = Lazy fat *****. :haha::haha:
punjabiplaya Posted February 6, 2010 Author Posted February 6, 2010 Two men at airport. First man says "I can't find my wife". Second says "I can't find mine either, what does yours look like? 1st man says, "She's 6ft tall, blonde, big tits, long legs, mini skirt, stockings, high heels and a boob tube, what's yours look like? 2nd man says "**** her, we'll look for yours" Two guys were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying so the other asked, "why r u crying?" the first one replied, "i came here 4 a blood test" second one asked"so? r u afraid" first 1 replied"no, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" hearing this the second 1 started crying. The first one astonished & asked the other,y are u crying? The other replied, " i have cum 4 my urine test".
dev.goswami Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 Two guys were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying so the other asked, "why r u crying?" the first one replied, "i came here 4 a blood test" second one asked"so? r u afraid" first 1 replied"no, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" hearing this the second 1 started crying. The first one astonished & asked the other,y are u crying? The other replied, " i have cum 4 my urine test". heard b4 but still :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 Guts or Balls... There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below: GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, Being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ''Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'' BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the **** and having the balls to say: ''You're next, fatty.''
punjabiplaya Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 A guy says to his wife 'I had a wet dream about you last night'. She says 'really? what happened?' ....'you got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing!' Dont want to spoil your day but iv'e just spotted John Terry's car parked outside your house (uk footy fans will appreciate this one) Took out the mother in law last night................ One punch............. ****ing beauty!
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