Laaloo Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 I have a paki friend on Facebook whose status says "Suicidal - Standing on the edge of a cliff". So I poked her... :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Sachinism Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 My wife rang me at work, she said, "two packages have arrived. One is your new Playstation 3 and the other is the new Rampant Rabbit vibrator we ordered. I can't wait for you to get home and play with me for hours" I said, "You'll be ****ing lucky...I only ordered one controller"
Dark Warrior Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 My wife rang me at work, she said, "two packages have arrived. One is your new Playstation 3 and the other is the new Rampant Rabbit vibrator we ordered. I can't wait for you to get home and play with me for hours" I said, "You'll be ****ing lucky...I only ordered one controller" :haha:
Dark Warrior Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 A good friend came up to me looking very pale. "My wife's got cancer. They don't think she's going to make it." "At least you'll be free of that ***** in a few months." "Please don't say things like that." ... "I was only joking, I'm sorry if I offended you." "Oh no, I just didn't want you to jinx it."
Dark Warrior Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 Why do women keep telling me to go **** myself? If I could **** myself, I wouldn't be putting my hands up their skirts in the first place.
Dark Warrior Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 Sports news just in... England have beaten Pakistan by 5 wickets at Taunton next thursday.
Sachinism Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 I called my girlfriend 'Miss Universe' last night. "Is it because I'm so beautiful?" she asked. "No, it's 'cause you're constantly expanding you fat ****!" ---- Don't you hate it when you think there might be something wrong with you? I mean the other day I noticed one of my testicles is considerably larger than the other two
punjabiplaya Posted September 2, 2010 Author Posted September 2, 2010 I said to the wife in bed "Give us a Chilean miner, would you darling". "Whats that?" "Go down to the bottom of me shaft and stay there til fecking christmas"
yoda Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 A good friend came up to me looking very pale. "My wife's got cancer. They don't think she's going to make it." "At least you'll be free of that ***** in a few months." "Please don't say things like that." ... "I was only joking, I'm sorry if I offended you." "Oh no, I just didn't want you to jinx it." Sports news just in... England have beaten Pakistan by 5 wickets at Taunton next thursday. :hysterical:
Sachinism Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 Just bought a copy of international cricket 2010 for my Xbox, but the disc is broke. I'm looking for a Paki now, I've heard they're ****ing good at fixing cricket games.
Laaloo Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 Just bought a copy of international cricket 2010 for my Xbox, but the disc is broke. I'm looking for a Paki now, I've heard they're ****ing good at fixing cricket games. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted September 3, 2010 Author Posted September 3, 2010 A notable gynecologist once said, The best engine in the world is the vagina. It can be started with one finger. It is self lubricating. It takes any size piston. And it changes its own oil every four weeks. It is only a pity that the management system is so fecking temperamental!
Karan114 Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 Why do women keep telling me to go **** myself? If I could **** myself, I wouldn't be putting my hands up their skirts in the first place. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Dark Warrior Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 In an effort to be a gentleman, I stood aside and held the door open for my girlfriend. Two minutes later she said, "Can you please **** off while I'm having a sh*t?"
Dark Warrior Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 A guy runs into an ex-girlfriend, with whom he didn't have the greatest relationship. "You know, I was with another woman last night, but I was still thinking of you." "Why, because you miss me?" ... "No, because it keeps me from coming too fast."
Dark Warrior Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 I remember a few years ago i watched a game of football in Japan and at the end they started doing Marshal-Arts. I asked the guy next to me, "What's going on". He Replied, "there's 2 minuets of ninjury time!" =========================== HORMONE (noun): the sound a prostitute makes when she's not been paid. ^^ this joke made me LOL :hysterical:
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