punjabiplaya Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 Paddy and Murphy are on a building site. Paddy says "I want a day off sick. "I'm gonna pretend I'm mad". He climbs up to the rafters & hangs upside down and shouts "I'm a lightbulb! I'm a lightbulb!" The foreman shouts "You're fecking mad, go home!" So he leaves the site. Murphy packs up to leave as well. The foreman says "Where the feck are you going?" Murphy says "I can't work in the feckin dark can I?" :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 Paddy gets home from pub late & very drunk..... Wife says "OK smart ass,explain the lipstick on ya collar" "Feckin easy" he says..... "I used me shirt to wipe my c*ck. .
punjabiplaya Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 A man was in hosp with 60 per cent burns. The dr. Told the nurse to give him 2 viagra tabs. Will they cure him said the nurse. No said the dr. But they will help to keep the sheets off his legs. :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 Don't forget to alter your clocks this weekend. I'm putting mine back to 1920 when we had no Fecking pakis!
punjabiplaya Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 I've finally decided what im doing for Halloween. I'm going out trick or treating around tooting and I'm gonna scare the sh*t out of anyone that answers the door....... I'm dressing up as an immigration officer.
punjabiplaya Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 Woke up this morning and there was a black coffin outside my front door. . . . . . . . . . . . . . So I gave him a strepsil and told him to feck off!
punjabiplaya Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 A baby shark asks his dad "Why do we circle people in the water with our fins showing before we eat them, why don't we just attack"? The wise old father said "Because they taste better without the sh*t inside them"
punjabiplaya Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 A feminist visits kabul just after the fall of the taliban and is not pleased to find that women must walk 5 paces behind their men. A year later she was delighted to return to find that men must walk 5 paces behind women. She asked the interpreter 'what brought about the change?' He replied, feckin 'landmines'.
punjabiplaya Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 I was driving to work this morning and saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked as miserable as ****.I thought to myself, 'That feckers heading for a breakdown....'
punjabiplaya Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 My new girlfriend lets me lick anything off her and i love it. Butter, jam, cheese, you name it she lets me lick it off her. .........She's a feckin cracker!
punjabiplaya Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 When Love Fades...? Paki was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife's voice from the kitchen "What would you like for dinner my Love?... Chicken, beef or lamb?" I said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken." She replied "You're having soup you fat paki, I was talking to the dog. :cantstop:
EnterTheVoid Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 When Love Fades...? Pkii was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife's voice from the kitchen "What would you like for dinner my Love?... Chicken, beef or lamb?" I said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken." She replied "You're having soup you fat paki, I was talking to the dog. :cantstop: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Dark Warrior Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I hate being old. It's the same thing every day. I take a piss at 6.30am and then take a **** at 7am. However the biggest problem is I don't wake up until 10am
Dark Warrior Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 If ax*x + bx +c = 0, then what is x? feck it i'll sell drugs.
punjabiplaya Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 I've just phoned my senile old Gran and told her to be careful because there have been reports of flesh eating zombies trying to break into people's homes in her area. She told me that she'll load the gun and keep it by the front door just in case. I fecking love Halloween
punjabiplaya Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 Two pretty Nuns are in their car at traffic lights when a car of young lads pulls up next to them. "Oi, get your t*ts out" shouts one of the lads. Sister Nancy turns to Sister Clare, "I don't think they know who we are. Just show them your cross." So Sister Clare hangs out of the window and shouts, "Feck off you little feckerss before I give you a slap"
punjabiplaya Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 SEX AT 75 ! I just took a leaflet out of my leterbox telling me that I can have sex at 75 ! I'm so happy because I live at 67 so its not far to walk home afterwards !
Laaloo Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Don't forget to alter your clocks this weekend. I'm putting mine back to 1920 when we had no Fecking pakis! A baby shark asks his dad "Why do we circle people in the water with our fins showing before we eat them, why don't we just attack"? The wise old father said "Because they taste better without the sh*t inside them" A feminist visits kabul just after the fall of the taliban and is not pleased to find that women must walk 5 paces behind their men. A year later she was delighted to return to find that men must walk 5 paces behind women. She asked the interpreter 'what brought about the change?' He replied' date=' feckin 'landmines'.[/quote'] When Love Fades...? Paki was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife's voice from the kitchen "What would you like for dinner my Love?... Chicken, beef or lamb?" I said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken." She replied "You're having soup you fat paki, I was talking to the dog. :cantstop: :cantstop:
gaurav92 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 When Love Fades...? Paki was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife's voice from the kitchen "What would you like for dinner my Love?... Chicken, beef or lamb?" I said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken." She replied "You're having soup you fat paki, I was talking to the dog. :cantstop: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Dark Warrior Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 India saame australia have baddhi match hare che, wah wah baddhi match hare che, ACP to Daya.. Apde bachi gaya aa loko have RAJNIKANT ni gand mare che.
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