punjabiplaya Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 Surprise sex is the best way to be woken up .................................. Unless you're in prison. :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 Asifs Just had some awful news, his Thai wife has testicular cancer.
punjabiplaya Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 I've opened a brothel specialising in Jewish prostitutes & need a name for it. Wot do u think of 'The Gash Chamber?'
punjabiplaya Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 Apparently wrapping your co*k in a copy of The Beano and having a wa*k, is not classed as Comic Relief.
punjabiplaya Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 A woman on her deathbed called her husband Amir and asked him to open a box from under the bed Inside Amir found 3 eggs and £7000 in cash "What are the eggs for?" Wife"every time we had rubbish sex i would put an egg in the box "Not bad 3 eggs in 35 years said Amir happily. And the cash?" "Every time i got a dozen i sold them" :hysterical::hysterical:
Sachin=GOD Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 A woman on her deathbed called her husband Amir and asked him to open a box from under the bed Inside Amir found 3 eggs and £7000 in cash "What are the eggs for?" Wife"every time we had rubbish sex i would put an egg in the box "Not bad 3 eggs in 35 years said Amir happily. And the cash?" "Every time i got a dozen i sold them" :hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 know how those poor people in japan feel, the last time i had 30 aftershocks, i couldnt find my fecking house either!
punjabiplaya Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 The Japenese 2012 Olympic windsurfing squad must be keen. They've just arrived in Dover!
punjabiplaya Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 I just phoned my mate in Japan to see if he was ok after the Tsunami and all he did was go on about his social life, just kept going on about a huge rave. Dont send any money to the people in tokyo there fecking minted ive just seen a man having a interview and his two boats and four cars on his drive
punjabiplaya Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN . Between 18 & 22 a woman is like Africa... half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas. . Between 23 & 30 a woman is like America... well developed & open to trade, especially for high financed investors. . Between 31 & 45 a woman is like India... very hot, relaxed & convinced of her own beauty . Between 46 & 55 a woman is like France... gently ageing but sensual, with an appreciation for the finer things . Between 56 & 60 she is like Yugoslavia... lost the war, haunted by past mistakes & in need of massive reconstruction . From 61 on, a woman is like Afghanistan... everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there . THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN . Between 15 and 80 a man is like Libya and pakistan... ruled by a dick.
punjabiplaya Posted March 12, 2011 Author Posted March 12, 2011 Indian man on his death bed. Kuljit are u here? Hanji papa. Surjit are u here? Hanji papa. Baljit are u here? Hanji papa. PEHNCHOD WHO THE HELL IS AT THE SHOP!
Desi Cartman Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN . Between 18 & 22 a woman is like Africa... half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas. . Between 23 & 30 a woman is like America... well developed & open to trade, especially for high financed investors. . Between 31 & 45 a woman is like India... very hot, relaxed & convinced of her own beauty . Between 46 & 55 a woman is like France... gently ageing but sensual, with an appreciation for the finer things . Between 56 & 60 she is like Yugoslavia... lost the war, haunted by past mistakes & in need of massive reconstruction . From 61 on, a woman is like Afghanistan... everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there . THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN . Between 15 and 80 a man is like Libya and pakistan... ruled by a dick. Hahaha
punjabiplaya Posted March 12, 2011 Author Posted March 12, 2011 Prince William's Stag Party is going to be a pretty weird night, imagine stuffing pictures of your granny into a lapdancer's knickers ! :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 A bloke on a night time fishing session speaking with the angler next to him. "Alright mate. Here on holiday?" "Nah" he repies. "I'm on my honeymoon." "On your honeymoon!! So why the hell aren't you at home fecking the life out your missus?" "Can't do that." he replies. "She got every STD imaginable. Her minge is covered in suppurating sores and leaks a constant stream of foul smelling green goo." "Well, why not pound the feck out of her ass?" "Can't do that" he says. "She's had a rectal prolapse and you can basically see her kidneys. The sphincter muscle has ripped and sh*t continually drips down the inside of her leg." "Well, if you don't mind me asking. Why the feck did you marry someone so foul and disgusting?" "For the maggots."
punjabiplaya Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. "How much is that Barbie in the window?", he asks the shop assistant. In a manner she responds, "Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00." The guy asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others?" "That's obvious," the assistant states, "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's ............
punjabiplaya Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 I passed a fat girl walking down the street yesterday, she had a t-shirt on saying "i love hip hop". I think the letters C and S had fallen off.............
punjabiplaya Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 GRANDPA TO GRANDKID: Go hide, your teacher is here, as you have bunked school today! GRANDKID: YOU go hide. I told them YOU PASSED AWAY! :haha:
Dark Warrior Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 A for Akmal, B for Ball, C for Catch and D for Dropped!
Laaloo Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 GRANDPA TO GRANDKID: Go hide, your teacher is here, as you have bunked school today! GRANDKID: YOU go hide. I told them YOU PASSED AWAY! :haha: :cantstop:
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