nikred Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 A for Akmal' date=' B for Ball, C for Catch and D for Dropped![/quote'] E for Enraged, F for Fans. :icflove:
Sachinism Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 My wife said shes leaving me because I'm too reckless and keep taking stupid risks. I think that's what she said anyway. I was shaving my bollocks with a chainsaw at the time.
Sachin=GOD Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 A for Akmal' date=' B for Ball, C for Catch and D for Dropped![/quote'] E for Enraged' date=' F for Fans. :icflove:[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Dark Warrior Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 E for Enraged' date=' F for Fans. :icflove:[/quote'] :haha: :P
punjabiplaya Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 Arsenal F.C. End of Season Dinner Menu Starter: Egg on Face Seasoned Hash Spanish Surprise (well beaten) Main course : Chump Chops French (has) Beans Manager's Beef (not rare) Catch of the Day - (gutted) NB: everything is imported, nothing is home grown. Dessert Sour Grapes (may be hard to swallow) Fruitless Tarts Raspberry Fools Hard Cheese Humble Pie Drinks: Bitter Little Spirit French Whine Cabernet Empty 05/06/07/08/09/10/11 Champagne - sorry none ordered STRICTLY NO DOUBLES OR TREBLES NB: drinks should be consumed from glasses as there will be no cups this year.
punjabiplaya Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 As i drove past a special needs school the other day i saw a sign that said SLOW CHILDREN.i dont think that would do there confidence any good do u.
punjabiplaya Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 BBC STATEMENT: in response to complaints that there are not enough blacks or pakis on television today, the BBC will now be showing crimewatch TWICE a week...
punjabiplaya Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 2 doctors r havin sex. He says to her, "U must b a surgeon, u washed your hands b4 & afta." She replies, "U must b an anesthetist, I didn't feel a feckin thing"
punjabiplaya Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 Its 2012 Olympics in London. Scotsman, Englishman and Irishman want to get in but don't have tickets. The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate, "Mcleish,Scotland, discus" he says, and walks in. The Englishman puts a scaffolding pole over his shoulder, "Jones, England, pole vault" he says, and walks in. The Irishman picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm, "O'Leary, Ireland, fencing"
punjabiplaya Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 I went into a brothel and said, "How much for an*l?" She said "Sixty quid" I said "Ah, that's a bit expensive. I think I'll leave it" She said "Tight ass. I said "Oh, go on then"
punjabiplaya Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? Iron Man is a 'Superhero'!!!...... Iron Woman is a simple instruction!
punjabiplaya Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 Man goes to the Doctors & says "I've been shag*ing the wife for 10yrs now & she is getting a bit loose, can u suggest anything to tighten her up a little bit?" Dr says "Well, this is a taboo subject, but have u tried the other hole?" he says. "WHAT! & end up with a house full of kids??"
Laaloo Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 BBC STATEMENT: in response to complaints that there are not enough blacks or pakis on television today' date=' the BBC will now be showing crimewatch TWICE a week...[/quote'] :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 3 Nurses working in a Morgue discover a Dead Man with a hard on. First Nurse says cant let that go 2 Waste and Rides him. Second Nurse does the same. Third Nurse Hesitates and says she is on her Period but does him anyway. Then the Man sits up and Nurses apologise saying they thought he was Dead. Man replies saying he was but after 2 jump Starts and a Blood Tranfusion he feels better than ever!
punjabiplaya Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 2 married ladies go on holiday to the Caribbean & meet a muscular Black guy. After a week of fantastic 3some sex they ask his name. He says my name's Snow. The ladies start laughing, he asks what's so funny? Their reply ..."Our husbands will never believe we had 10 inches of feckin Snow in the Caribbean!
punjabiplaya Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 This obese woman struggling to walk stopped me in the street this morning and said: "Will you see me across the road love?" I said: "Across the road, I could see you from space you fat fecker!"
punjabiplaya Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 Young boy sat back of class squirmin & scratchin his crotch. Teacher asked him wots wrong. Embarrased boy said he just been circumcised & was itchy. Teacher told him to go to office & ring his mum for advice. 5 mins later boy cums back sits down & other kids stare at him. Teacher sees him with his willy out, rushes over & says wot on earth are you doin. Wel miss the boy says. My mum said if i cud stick it out til lunchtime she'd come & get me !! :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 Did you hear about the Fat, Alcoholic Transvestite?.... All he wanted to do was Eat, Drink and be Mary.
punjabiplaya Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 I saw my mate this morning, he's got 1 arm bless him. I shouted, "Where you off to?" "To change a light bulb" he said, "That's going to be awkward isn't it?" "Not really" he said, "I've still got the Feckin receipt, you sarcastic bast*rd!" :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 Two couples on holiday & husbands Paul & Dave decide to try and get their ladies to wife swap. Amazingly they agree but Paul knows his wife is on her time of month so he has got one up on Dave. They agree that at breakfast they'll tap the spoon on the table however many times they shag*ed the others missus. Next morning Paul grins & taps twice, looks across at Dave who smiles then taps once on the jam and three times on the Nutella. :cantstop:
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