Gambit Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 Can't say I disagree with anything Kesavan says. :hysterical: THE UGLY INDIAN MAN - Of hygiene, hair and horrible habits Mukul Kesavan Some years ago, I was struck by the contrast between the beauty of Hindi film heroines and the ugliness of Hindi film heroes. After researching the matter, I concluded that the explanation was straightforward: leading men in Hindi films were ugly because they were Indian men, and Indian men were measurably uglier than Indian women. You dont have to take my word for it: cursory surveys of marriages, morchas, classrooms, offices and homes will bear out this observation. While my observation was accurate and the data I had gathered reliable, I made the mistake of attributing the ugliness of the Indian male to nature. I know now that Indian men arent born ugly: they achieve ugliness through practice. It is their habits and routines that make them ugly. If I was to be schematic, Id argue that Indian men are ugly on account of the three Hs: hygiene, hair and horrible habits. Lets start with their extremities. Examine the nails of any Indian man: the cuticles will be yellow with haldi and the underside of the bitten-off tip will be spotty with accumulated dirt. When you think of where they put those nails, this is not surprising. Ive seen respectable men conducting conversations with their index fingers two-digits deep in their nostrils, digging with industrial enthusiasm. If you ever see a desi man delicately rubbing the tip of his index finger over the pad of his thumb, beware. Dont go near him: hes rolling the bogies hes mined into little balls. He uses those same fingers to adjust himself in public. All Indian men do this, without exception. The refined ones do it furtively, but the majority do it openly without shame or embarrassment. A famous Indian batsman does this regularly with the butt end of his bat handle under the gaze of thousands of spectators. You cant do this and be good-looking, you really cant. You could be John Abraham (an exception to our ugly rule) and your looks wouldnt survive this particular habit. And if it isnt the thumb and forefinger, its the pinkie inserted into the ear and vibrated with manic vigour. This generally comes with eye-rolling and little oinks of pleasure. Youll never see women doing this, only men. Its an important route to ugliness. The sounds they make are crucial to the unattractiveness of Indian men. For example, an Indian man with a cold will, in company, try to snort up the congestion and swallow it. Hell do it over and over again, completely unaware of the revulsion it causes. When he eats, theres another repertoire of sounds born of the fact that sub-continental men dont keep their lips together while chewing. If you think this doesnt apply to you because you do keep your mouth shut while processing food, youre wrong. A second before swallowing, you part your lips and swipe your tongue over your palate, to juice the last taste out of the morsel, and you make a sucking noise. If you want to test this out, use grapes: they generate the slurpiest sounds. But hair habits do even more to intensify the ugliness of Indian men than the sounds they involuntarily make. Statistically, some ninety per cent of all south Asian men wear moustaches, their masculinity seems to be critically dependent on this growth. I dont mean the beard-cum-moustaches style which is respectable, but the standalone moustache. Even here, a bushy, Zapata-style moustache has something going for it, but the styles Indian men favour are a) the twirled moustache and the little trimmed one. The first makes its host ridiculous, the second makes him look like a harried clerk or, if the hair has been trimmed into a thin line, like a sexual predator. Middle-aged men improve on this by dyeing their hair a radiant black then letting their roots show. Or, like General Musharraf, they will dye the hair on top of their heads but leave their side-burns grey because they think theyve read somewhere that this makes them look distinguished. It doesnt: it makes them look like unreliable car-dealers. Indian men wear badly because they look into magic mirrors that hide the changes middle-age brings. For example, they dont notice the hair growing out of their nostrils in little tufts and, consequently, dont trim it. Even worse, the hair bristling out of their ears in great wiry jets is invisible to them because their narcissism is so complete, so proofed against reality, that what they see in the mirror is not their reflection but a favourite photograph taken twenty years and twenty kilos ago. But speaking for myself, the oddest aspect of the Indian man is the things hes willing to wear, and Im not talking about his dress sense because that would need a book. Im talking, for example, about the thick bands of rotting pink threads that north Indian men wear around their wrists. Im sure theres some respectable ritual reason for this that requires them to keep these threads on till they discolour and fall off, but why would you change your clothes every day if youre willing to wear something that you sweat into for weeks? Then theres their keenness on necklaces. Not one, but as many as they can wear. Not content with doing this, they leave the top buttons of their shirts unbuttoned so you can see that tangled jumble of amulets and gold chains and lockets. Sreesanth and Ganguly wear so many that they look like shady trinket vendors. Any inventory of the ways in which Indian men achieve ugliness has to include their relationship with rings. Were not talking about nice rings, say a discreet wedding band, but cheap rings with coloured stones in tarnished silver settings worn on every finger of both hands, not excluding thumbs. Since the average Indian mans fingers arent long and slender, the net effect is one of sausages banded with metal. Why are Indian men like this? How do they achieve the bullet-proof unselfconsciousness that allows them to be so abandonedly ugly? I think it comes from a sense of entitlement thats hard-wired into every male child that grows up in an Indian household. That, and the not unimportant fact that, despite the way they look, theyre always paired off with good-looking women. http://www.telegraphindia.com/1070809/asp/opinion/story_8167967.asp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurker Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 ^^ Instead of typing that long article he should have just mentioned an interview of Zeenat Amaan who had summed it up rather well, "Out of 10 Indian women 9 are pretty, out of 10 Indian men 9 are ugly". Personally I disagree to that. Men(or women) who take care of themselves look good. It has little to do with gender really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gator Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 ^^ Instead of typing that long article he should have just mentioned an interview of Zeenat Amaan who had summed it up rather well, "Out of 10 Indian women 9 are pretty, out of 10 Indian men 9 are ugly". Personally I disagree to that. Men(or women) who take care of themselves look good. It has little to do with gender really. thts the point, he is making, lurks..... men dont take care of themselves..... on the same note, i hate the puppy look, the current generation american guys sport.... they alll look the same now with no uniqueness... a radio show host who is of the previous generation was complaining about this stupid cool grin on all the faces without any personality... got to say, american men are losing their macho.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandtest Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 yeh motu ke pechey, saari mein item kaun hai? mast lag rehi hai...iskey Keshu pasand aaye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurker Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 yeh motu ke pechey, saari mein item kaun hai? mast lag rehi hai...iskey Keshu pasand aaye. She is Konkana Sen Sharma ST. Gator, you telling me you dont want to just up and copy this gentleman frame by frame? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dada_rocks Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 agar care karo to larkiyan metro-sexual ka tag laga dengi.. we never win Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aditi Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 There are some fugly women out there too.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gator Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 She is Konkana Sen Sharma ST. Gator, you telling me you dont want to just up and copy this gentleman frame by frame? lol.... u know wat i meant..... jim carrey in me, myself and irene in a timid role looks more masculine to me than tom cruise as an airforce fighter-pilot in Top Gun.... the stupid milky look....now it is everywhere.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaurav Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 ^^ Instead of typing that long article he should have just mentioned an interview of Zeenat Amaan who had summed it up rather well, "Out of 10 Indian women 9 are pretty, out of 10 Indian men 9 are ugly". Kanjri really said that? :hysterical: Zeenat darling did not mean it though. Indian man can be as hot as west walle men. Actually better if you add the eastern mystic to the mix. Worked for me :heart::rose::yay: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zap_Brannigan Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 In India and the US, I have seen more ugly women than ugly men. In India, cos most girls just cant pull of that skin tight jeans or the midriff barring saree cos of all the junk.In the US, i feel that women are more obese than men. The observations have to be taken with huge grain of salt cos my eyes always wander in the direction on women and not men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 The observations have to be taken with huge grain of salt cos my eyes always wander in the direction on women and not men. :haha: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
varun Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 In India and the US, I have seen more ugly women than ugly men. In India, cos most girls just cant pull of that skin tight jeans or the midriff barring saree cos of all the junk.In the US, i feel that women are more obese than men. The observations have to be taken with huge grain of salt cos my eyes always wander in the direction on women and not men. Ah good save there ! :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee_rules Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 It's quite natural. All red-blooded hetrosexual men find other men ugly and repulsive, while they find women beautiful and sexy. The article is all about announcing his sexuality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurker Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 It's quite natural. All red-blooded hetrosexual men find other men ugly and repulsive' date= while they find women beautiful and sexy. The article is all about announcing his sexuality. It is not so much that heterosexual men find other men ugly and repulsive, it is perhaps that most men are greatly homophobic. Women, in general, are more comfortable that way. I remember watching a SriDevi movie, can't remember if it was Mr. India or Chandani, and my Mom quips, "Sri Devi has such a chiselled body!". It is no great thing to hear women comment on starlets, or peers, but it is so anti-machismo for a bloke to comment on how sexy Daniel Craig looks. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dada_rocks Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 It is not so much that heterosexual men find other men ugly and repulsive, it is perhaps that most men are greatly homophobic. Women, in general, are more comfortable that way. I remember watching a SriDevi movie, can't remember if it was Mr. India or Chandani, and my Mom quips, "Sri Devi has such a chiselled body!". It is no great thing to hear women comment on starlets, or peers, but it is so anti-machismo for a bloke to comment on how sexy Daniel Craig looks. xx Kya baat karate ho guru female sample can't stand another female sample.. don't generalise men based this idiot's article.. Men are so comfortable among their own, otoh female come of as mentally constipated among their own. Constantly judging and being judged over looks wardrobe manecure paedicure doesn't sount freindly atmosphere does it. This was the story of failr adolescent ones now oldi female sample are busy putting each other down by constant drivel about their respective offsprings achievement. Before somoene starts the crap of ur mom sister( which I don't have any) too are women. SO be it, I ain't buzzing from my stance. I will throw little anecdote: One of my classmate in under-grad days was Pal Saheb ffrom somwhere In Pratapgarh. now I have visisted Pal saheb's home he used to claim his grand-father used to be a burglar by career so there we went off to his place and he showed all the paraphernalia needed for burgalry still safe. I talked this incident to one of my distant cousin female. She was so surprised how could someone be so frank among their friends. Apparently her hostel had bunch of phoney balponey gals always talking big about themselves. Guys don't do that.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gs Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 ^^ Instead of typing that long article he should have just mentioned an interview of Zeenat Amaan who had summed it up rather well, "Out of 10 Indian women 9 are pretty, out of 10 Indian men 9 are ugly". Personally I disagree to that. Men(or women) who take care of themselves look good. It has little to do with gender really. I agree to this for most part, but genes and upkeep also play a big role. :confused_smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurker Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Kya baat karate ho guru female sample can't stand another female sample.. don't generalise men based this idiot's article.. Simple question to you DR - When was the last time you acknowledged if Salman Khan/Brad Pitt/Will Smith(whatever catches your fancy) looked great in a swim trunk? Most females would have no problems if you replace the male characters with female ones. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurker Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 I agree to this for most part' date=' but genes and upkeep also play a big role. :confused_smile:[/quote'] To be honest I don't buy the gene theory. I mean unless your parents/grandparents were 300 pounds plus there is a good chance that you were born normal. And if you do so much as watch what you eat, take enough sleep and have a decent active lifestyle you should be good. No you do not have to sport 6 pack but you should look presentable. Thats all really. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gs Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Simple question to you DR - When was the last time you acknowledged if Salman Khan/Brad Pitt/Will Smith(whatever catches your fancy) looked great in a swim trunk? Most females would have no problems if you replace the male characters with female ones. xxx Am sure Shoaib Aktor and Malcolm Sami would have no qualms about oggling at those hunks in trunks!:hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dada_rocks Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Simple question to you DR - When was the last time you acknowledged if Salman Khan/Brad Pitt/Will Smith(whatever catches your fancy) looked great in a swim trunk? Most females would have no problems if you replace the male characters with female ones. xxx What kind of yardstick is that BTW I everyday accept sourav ganguy looks awesome and dhoni is jhakas so much so my wife calls me gay:hysterical:.. I have not done sampling over this question but in general guys hit-off betetr among themselves than gals.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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