flamy Posted June 8, 2012 Author Posted June 8, 2012 Written by my friend, Maja Bugge, a goddess of a woman: Why is there a need for Men's Groups? Constantly talking about and reading about gender and relating to the notion of womanhood myself, I find my self wondering about and asking questions to the men in my life about how they relate to what it means to be who they are, what it means to be a man in general, and how they see the future for men. This interest led me to focus on gender and masculinity theories in undergrad and now as my masters thesis making a documentary film trying to come closer to the current state of men. It seems easier to access the issue in a situation of crisis, which is most often times the point of departure for men being part of a so-called men's group. Also a point that led my interest to men doing so-called men's work, is my own father's sudden expressed need for going on leave from both family and work and went traveling for some time all by himself. This made me realize that a lot of men might go around and feel disintegrated or unhappy and have no or few ways to turn for help. Men are influencing what is meant by terms like masculinity and manhood. How society treat and expects men to behave is a back and forth process made from actions and reactions. After the women's liberation movement the role of women have changed and women is now perceived to be in an equal position to men on all levels of life. This development influences the role of the man, since his originally privileged position on the job market and at home is being challenged, and the man is faced with a redefining of his position as a man in society. The young generations of a democratic Western society like the US or Denmark is more or less born into a gender equal society and boys are not being treated differently from girls throughout their social sphere. There is a tendency that men in their 40-50's come to a point in their life where they are asking questions about the essence of their identity, and feel a need to get deeper into themselves. A lot of men seek other men who feel a similar need and they join together in small groups meeting up on a weekly basis. This phenomenon is called a Men's Group. Some men believe that all men would benefit from being part of a Men's Group anytime anywhere, and that the younger generation also at one point in their life will come to this realization despite of what they immediately think. It takes a certain amount of life experience to reach the point in life it seems. Still Men's Groups are for men exclusively, suggesting that not the time in history but the man himself is essential. At the same time, the phenomenon of Men's Groups can also be related to the growing movement of globalization, sustainability and mindfulness. Suggesting that men today are in increasing numbers seeking a deeper connectedness to themselves and their surroundings, I am especially interested in why this is happening to men more than women and why there is a need for an institutionalized group phenomenon. We can talk about a general feeling of displacement of men in the Western democratic society, and what I am looking to find out is how men realize and respond to this. It turns out that a lot of men in fact engage in processes of improving their life in various ways. Beginning with their individual position they continue to help other men to experience a positive development as they have done through whatever personal work they have engaged in. Men who actively work with notions of manhood and who work to improve the future for boys and men is very much needed in our society where not only men feel disintegrated at an older age, but boys fail to complete a degree and level with the girls. The education system is slowly recognizing the need for incorporating other strategies of learning to improve boys' opportunities in primary and middle school. At the same time organizations like Boys to Men advocate for men to be better role modeling fathers. The need for men to take part in the reevaluating process of coming closer to how we on all levels of society can meet the boys and men with more secure opportunities is more and more apparent. Therefore I am optimistic to learn about the many groups of men who faced with the challenge of coming closer to manhood actively take responsibility. While working with their individual self, they see the importance of reaching out to other men. The more focus we can put on men's positive developing processes and spreading the word about the possibility for other men to engage in similar ways, the more we help to secure a better integrated man. The men of the group in Idaho that I am filming, is confronting the inner core of themselves of trying to get more in touch with their essence. This group of men and their specific way of getting in touch with their inner self is contributing to the broader discussion on what it means to be a man today. This group is the example that I am putting forth for other people to realize the importance of taking seriously the less favorable position men in our society is taking. Hopefully we will learn how to better deal with being a man and understanding a man. http://mensgroupdoc.jimdo.com/updates/
bangladeshifan Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxOeLH5fvak]maa da ladla bigad gaya - YouTube[/ame]
vvvslaxman Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Totally unnecessary group. They blame society for deciding how a man to should behave. Isn't it exactly what they are doing? Telling men how to live their life? I am sure it is not every man's dream to walk around naked infront of another human being with or without society's influence.
ganeshran Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Get few friends together, some booze, great food and a good movie or match. Thats all the bonding a guy needs :nice:
flamy Posted June 8, 2012 Author Posted June 8, 2012 Totally unnecessary group. They blame society for deciding how a man to should behave. Isn't it exactly what they are doing? Telling men how to live their life? I am sure it is not every man's dream to walk around naked infront of another human being with or without society's influence. You are just stuck at the nudity aspect of this. They are not telling a man how to behave. The purpose of these groups is for facilitating men to get more in touch with their essence. Society tells men getting in touch with emotions is "gay". In Men's Work we go deep into what it is that makes us click and be who we are while doing the things we do. We work with Jungian archetypes of the King, the Warrior, the Magician and the Lover and how these are manifesting in a man's life in either their Golden form or their Shadow form. Groups like these are a foray into Mature Masculinity. Boys have lost initiation from elder men. Initiation involves breaking old shells and then allowing the boy to naturally discover for himself changes in his internal state after going through the initiatory processes/rituals. You can think of this as a group introspection burrowing into the beliefs we men hold as individuals and as a gender. And identifying the ones that limit us from realizing our deepest truth and greatest purpose. Introspection is examining aspects of your life. Some of the questions asked are: Where you came from and how you were raised. What you learned about how to be a man. What you want for your future. What you want for yourself and for others. How you handle your past. (and how to break free of it) How you deal with conflict. How you learn to be more effective. How you deal with being alone OR being a part of a team. How you handle fear, anger, shame, joy, sadness. What your unique purpose for being is. (and how to move toward it) How you fit in to the natural world. How you fit in as a man among men. What is your relationship to your power as a man? What is your relationship to your spirituality? What is your relationship to death? What is your relationship to women? What is your relationship to your body and sexuality?
vvvslaxman Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 ^ Again why restrict just to men if you are talking only about improvement in life. Why not include women as well? Why do you discriminate them?
flamy Posted June 8, 2012 Author Posted June 8, 2012 ^ Again why restrict just to men if you are talking only about improvement in life. Why not include women as well? Why do you discriminate them? Because it is important for men to engage with men. Discover their own unique brand of masculinity among other men. Relating to another man at this level forges brotherhood, compassion and a depth of being that cannot be provided in the presence of women. It is the same for women. They can reach a certain level of depth only with other women. I'm surprised you see it as discrimination. What would you call women-only groups? There are many like these. In fact, MKP themselves have two programs for just women. This is about honoring the unique differences between men and women. Because, that is how we can integrate back into the world bringing forth our individual gifts of Masculine and Feminine in their fullest expression. Muddled expressions of the same borne through misguided ideas of gender-sameness as opposed to gender-equality causes the strife, confusion and the inertia of miscommunication that we witness.
Lurker Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 Groups like these are a foray into Mature Masculinity. Boys have lost initiation from elder men. Initiation involves breaking old shells and then allowing the boy to naturally discover for himself changes in his internal state after going through the initiatory processes/rituals. Or maybe elder men were trying to pass knowledge but you were not listening :winky: And so one day you woke up and realized everybody was a friend of yours. Everybody was known by their first name. There was no College Senior who you could call up and say "Congrats boss for the promotion, where are you giving me the treat?". When you logged in to online world, where many an hours were spent, it was the same old arguments. And you would look around and perhaps see how some older chaps still referred to those within their age group, or older, as Coffee saab, Yoda sir, Rajeeb bhau, even Badi Bi (although Badi bi wasnt exactly happy with it) but in your group/circle everybody was the same and while it was fun it grew boring after a while too. And so you went looking for your manhood. We all have been there I suppose. Some find it in the gym. Where men who you never have known will walk over to you, spot you and then egg you to fight with a "Come on you Son of a **** push it you pu&&y"...never meaning anything but being supportive...or crack a naughty joke on the girl on the treadmill. Or some of us joint biking club and made our own brotherhood. Or watched games, grabbed beer and waiting for our wives to travel back to India so we can all have a blast lol. Nothing wrong with what you are doing, in the end it is all about what works for you. And do look up Mike & Mechanics - Living Years. xx
flamy Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 Yes, whatever works for you. Whatever process helps you realize your goals and live life to the fullest. No excuses. I get only two? :(( xx
donkey Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Dark skinned Indians aren't really discriminated against they are just butt of all jokes, kinda like blondes and fatchics in western countries
Nova Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Dark skinned Indians aren't really discriminated against they are just butt of all jokes' date=' kinda like blondes and fatchics in western countries[/quote'] hehe.. you talk like a donkey
Recommended Posts