To touch, or not to touch: that is the question

[rahulrulezz]

This guy was one of the most corrupt CM of Haryana.. I have always hated him as his secretaries used to openly take bribe...... pure ghooskhoors... Back in grade 11 in 2003, I got 2nd in Science quiz competition in Haryana and O P Chautala was suppose to give me the prize at this function. I am the first one to touch feet of my elders to take their blessings but I remember making a point not to touch his feet even though the IAS of our area told me to do so..How can I touch feet of a ghooskhoor...It was bit awkward when he put his hand on my head even though I didn't even bend down and was standing straight..Next day I left for Canada but would be amazing to find that awkward pic in some newspaper

[DomainK]

^ TBH I hate this tradition of touching feet of the elders. Our parents and our culture teaches us that we should always respect those older to us because they have more wisdom and they are respectable. It's one of the worst advice parents can give their innocent children these days. Hats off to you for not touching his feet even though that was what everyone naturally expected you to do. Back on topic, possibly there will be appeals in a higher court and they will get bail pending the appeal and then they will grow old and die.

[Lurker]

^ TBH I hate this tradition of touching feet of the elders. Our parents and our culture teaches us that we should always respect those older to us because they have more wisdom and they are respectable. It's one of the worst advice parents can give their innocent children these days.

I love it. Not to make it personal but I had a few Pakistani friends whose homes I would visit. I kid you not, even though Pakistanis (and Muslims in general) are raised to do a salaam, when I would touch the feet of Moms they would beam extra and put their hands on my forehead. It was not like a typical Hindu Mom, they would almost screw my hair but I loved it. Good times. Back to the topic, how screwed up are we that our CMs do this kind of corruption?? This reminded me of the time my elder brother was studying at Patna Medical College and Hospital (PMCH). Amongst his batchmate was Lalloo's daughter who had obviously got in for wrong reasons, and every year would top the exams. Imagine how the smart and genuine students may have felt :((

[Tiger80]

I love it. Not to make it personal but I had a few Pakistani friends whose homes I would visit. I kid you not, even though Pakistanis (and Muslims in general) are raised to do a salaam, when I would touch the feet of Moms they would beam extra and put their hands on my forehead. It was not like a typical Hindu Mom, they would almost screw my hair but I loved it. Good times. Back to the topic, how screwed up are we that our CMs do this kind of corruption?? This reminded me of the time my elder brother was studying at Patna Medical College and Hospital (PMCH). Amongst his batchmate was Lalloo's daughter who had obviously got in for wrong reasons, and every year would top the exams. Imagine how the smart and genuine students may have felt :((

Laloo's daughter is 36-37 year old and your elder brother was studying with her?

[Crookbond]

^ TBH I hate this tradition of touching feet of the elders. Our parents and our culture teaches us that we should always respect those older to us because they have more wisdom and they are respectable. It's one of the worst advice parents can give their innocent children these days. Hats off to you for not touching his feet even though that was what everyone naturally expected you to do. Back on topic, possibly there will be appeals in a higher court and they will get bail pending the appeal and then they will grow old and die.

+1 Wisdom has got nothing to do with the number of birthdays celebrated.

[The Outsider]

I find touching feet an abhorrent custom. I never touch anyone's feet and never allow anyone to touch mine.

[Tiger80]

I find touching feet an abhorrent custom. I never touch anyone's feet and never allow anyone to touch mine.

:hysterical::hysterical: From Chautala's corruption, thread is moved to question whether touching feet of elders is right or wrong

[The Outsider]

:hysterical::hysterical: From Chautala's corruption, thread is moved to question whether touching feet of elders is right or wrong

Kya discuss karein yaar usme. Same story gets repeated - charges of corruption, case in court lingers on for years, politicians get out on bail and carry on with life as usual, usually get away, sometimes are convicted, go to jail for a few days, file appeal, out on bail, another few years of court cases, and then depending on their political value at that time either get away or sent in as token punishments. Same thing has/going to happen here.

[Raghav_12]

:hysterical::hysterical: From Chautala's corruption, thread is moved to question whether touching feet of elders is right or wrong

Just matter of time before custom of touching feet would be blamed for all crimes of India, in this very thread :-) On the topic. it's good to see this happening. Gives population some confidence in judiciary.

[The Outsider]

Just matter of time before custom of touching feet would be blamed for all crimes of India, in this very thread :-)

Whether that's done or not, your with us or against us binary mode of thinking will surely interpret things that way.

[rahulrulezz]

I don't see anything wrong in touching my elders feet... I find it one of the bestest part of our culture where we give respect to our elders.. how often do you see that in other cultures.. Also I am not hurting anyone touching their feet and if my small act shows that I respect my elder, then why not.. Similar to why we clean our hands before going to temple or why we leave our chappals out the temple.. jsut for respect... I don't want to go in details of Hinduism but it does suggest that there is a god in everyone .. and when you touch their feet, your are touching feet of the god.. This reminds me of my initial visit in BAPs Swamiinarayan temple as a volunteer. I have been helping out BAPs Swaminrayan temple here in Toronto in some construction/phsyical volunteer work there... I am a typical NorthIndian hindi-belt Hindu, where there is general unspoken rule of touching feets of your elder however they have to be 15+ older than you.. however when I went to SwamiNarayan, all these guys who were older than me were touching my feet.. I asked my friend why are these guys doing this even though I am much younger than them.. His answer amazed me and actually made sense.. He said, there is a dev and danav in everyone... Everyone has goods and bads...When you are touching someones feet, you are basically taking blessing of the dev inside you.. That actually makes sense and attracted me towards BAPS... btw I told my friend that I am purely danav ):giggle: and don't deserve to give any blessing to others and hence he told his friendsin BAPs to stop touching my feet(I guess jsut to make me feel comfortable among others)

[Raghav_12]

Whether that's done or not' date=' your with us or against us binary mode of thinking will surely interpret things that way.[/quote'] No, that's not true. My thinking is never binary or black&white. In general I look at all aspects of any matter to the extent, I come across as somebody having opinion contrary to public one. On topic (:P), I used to detest this practice as young kid, but now as I grow old, I am okay with it :winky:

[DomainK]

I don't see anything wrong in touching my elders feet... I find it one of the bestest part of our culture where we give respect to our elders.. how often do you see that in other cultures.. Also I am not hurting anyone touching their feet and if my small act shows that I respect my elder' date=' then why not..[b'] Similar to why we clean our hands before going to temple or why we leave our chappals out the temple.. jsut for respect... I don't want to go in details of Hinduism but it does suggest that there is a god in everyone .. and when you touch their feet, your are touching feet of the god.. This reminds me of my initial visit in BAPs Swamiinarayan temple as a volunteer. I have been helping out BAPs Swaminrayan temple here in Toronto in some construction/phsyical volunteer work there... I am a typical NorthIndian hindi-belt Hindu, where there is general unspoken rule of touching feets of your elder however they have to be 15+ older than you.. however when I went to SwamiNarayan, all these guys who were older than me were touching my feet.. I asked my friend why are these guys doing this even though I am much younger than them.. His answer amazed me and actually made sense.. He said, there is a dev and danav in everyone... Everyone has goods and bads...When you are touching someones feet, you are basically taking blessing of the dev inside you.. That actually makes sense and attracted me towards BAPS... btw I told my friend that I am purely danav ):giggle: and don't deserve to give any blessing to others and hence he told his friendsin BAPs to stop touching my feet(I guess jsut to make me feel comfortable among others)

Are you serious? You think it's the same thing? In fact, not just the act of touching feet, but the idea behind it, the lesson that elders or older people are wise, respectable and should be obeyed is wrong and dangerous lesson we have been teaching our children. The reality however is that older people are far more capable of evil than young kids. Most criminals are adults. Most rapists are adults. Most child molesters are adults. While the west is busy teaching "stranger danger" to kids, we continue to teach them to respect those older to them. While watching Aamir Khan's show, this is what I was thinking. Alarmingly, almost every second girl child has faced some king of sexual abuse and in most cases, an adult within the family is involved. And to address the "such things don't happen in our family" thoughts, such "adults" are found in good cultural families as well. And we teach our kids to blindly believe that adults are wise, good, should always be respected and obeyed? Yes, we tell them that an adult or an older person should be obeyed. If they tell you to do something, just do it. Can you think of a worse advice than that? We should tell them "listen kids, just because a person is older to you in age, does not necessary mean that they are nice people. There are bad people in the world. If you ever feel uncomfortable around anyone, come and tell is fearlessly and we will listen to you and solve your problem." No, we tell them to go and touch feet of random people and take their blessings. One one hand we say that kids are innocent and closer to God and on the other hand we force them to take blessings from every effin person older to them. Is there even any logic in that? A number of girls have told me that they stay very careful while touching feet of an older person because the touch on the name of blessings are not nice sometimes. I have known people grope girls after feet touching. There is an older celebrity who is known for this and young girls are told "unka pair chhuna, par thoda door se". And still the girls have to do it because it's the "Indian culture". Let me tell you something about Indian societies and Indian culture. Our society is full of perverts and scums and our children need to learn that early on. And let me repeat: Older people are far more capable of evil than young kids. Age does not necessarily bring wisdom. Age does not guarantee honesty.

[Laaloo]

^^ Good post My parents also tell me to touch elder's feet. I do it but I choose on what type of people whose feet I touch. First and foremost, it includes people who I have immense respect for such as my grandparents. I pick and choose people whose feet I touch. I don't choose any random elder in my family. I choose elders from whose lives I have gained a lot of knowledge. That's different from what Rahulrulezz said.

[Crookbond]

Are you serious? You think it's the same thing? In fact, not just the act of touching feet, but the idea behind it, the lesson that elders or older people are wise, respectable and should be obeyed is wrong and dangerous lesson we have been teaching our children. The reality however is that older people are far more capable of evil than young kids. Most criminals are adults. Most rapists are adults. Most child molesters are adults. While the west is busy teaching "stranger danger" to kids, we continue to teach them to respect those older to them. While watching Aamir Khan's show, this is what I was thinking. Alarmingly, almost every second girl child has faced some king of sexual abuse and in most cases, an adult within the family is involved. And to address the "such things don't happen in our family" thoughts, such "adults" are found in good cultural families as well. And we teach our kids to blindly believe that adults are wise, good, should always be respected and obeyed? Yes, we tell them that an adult or an older person should be obeyed. If they tell you to do something, just do it. Can you think of a worse advice than that? We should tell them "listen kids, just because a person is older to you in age, does not necessary mean that they are nice people. There are bad people in the world. If you ever feel uncomfortable around anyone, come and tell is fearlessly and we will listen to you and solve your problem." No, we tell them to go and touch feet of random people and take their blessings. One one hand we say that kids are innocent and closer to God and on the other hand we force them to take blessings from every effin person older to them. Is there even any logic in that? A number of girls have told me that they stay very careful while touching feet of an older person because the touch on the name of blessings are not nice sometimes. I have known people grope girls after feet touching. There is an older celebrity who is known for this and young girls are told "unka pair chhuna, par thoda door se". And still the girls have to do it because it's the "Indian culture". Let me tell you something about Indian societies and Indian culture. Our society is full of perverts and scums and our children need to learn that early on. And let me repeat: Older people are far more capable of evil than young kids. Age does not necessarily bring wisdom. Age does not guarantee honesty.

Nice catch - in any case, any practice should not be enforced but should be voluntary. If touching feet of elders would be a gesture which I think deserves respect, I will tell my kids - "Hey look, there are some people who I think are important to me and my way of showing them respect is to touch their feet. However, that's not the only way and there are other ways too. Pick your style and stick to it. I would however like you to learn to respect people who are wise and imbibe from them. Listen carefully what they say - you never know at which stage of your life you may benefit from them".

[The Outsider]

Good post, DK! That shows one aspect of this custom. I dislike it more from the point of view of it being symbolic of inferiority and superiority rather than of a society which is inclusive.

[Lurker]

And let me repeat: Older people are far more capable of evil than young kids. Age does not necessarily bring wisdom. Age does not guarantee honesty.

Fair enough. But why are you supposing every single older person needs to have his feet touched? It is a gesture of respect reserved only for people who are important to you. For example, I would personally prefer to touch feet of my teachers. I can not see myself shaking hands with my teachers and somehow (atleast in my mind) insinuating we are equals. Now if the question is were each and every teacher deserving of respect? Probably not. But the bulk of them were. Absolutely.

[The Outsider]

I can not see myself shaking hands with my teachers and somehow (atleast in my mind) insinuating we are equals.

That's a major breakdown of intelligence as far as I see it. Just to give you an example, when I talked with my adviser and asked her in the process how long is it going to take to graduate, she said, "the day you are able to come up with a problem, convince me to spend my grant on it, and make me enthusiastic enough to be a co-author on the work you are done". Quite different from not being "equals" mindset is it not?

[Lurker]

That's a major breakdown of intelligence as far as I see it. Just to give you an example' date=' when I talked with my adviser and asked her in the process how long is it going to take to graduate, she said, [b']"the day you are able to come up with a problem, convince me to spend my grant on it, and make me enthusiastic enough to be a co-author on the work you are done". Quite different from not being "equals" mindset is it not?

Not really, no. That is a completely different end of spectrum. You are talking of an age when you are well developed and rounded. Your teacher at this time is entirely different to a teacher when you were 5 year old. I am always amazed at teachers who teach between say age 5-15 and how they raise a class of kids. You can not possibly compare it to a class of 20 years and above. At that time you are an adult. It is no different to work really. I was working in my early 20s and I have never touched feet of any of my bosses lol..your case is not very different :winky:

[The Outsider]

Not really, no. That is a completely different end of spectrum. You are talking of an age when you are well developed and rounded. Your teacher at this time is entirely different to a teacher when you were 5 year old. I am always amazed at teachers who teach between say age 5-15 and how they raise a class of kids. You can not possibly compare it to a class of 20 years and above. At that time you are an adult. It is no different to work really. I was working in my early 20s and I have never touched feet of any of my bosses lol..your case is not very different :winky:

Well, I have never touched the feet of my teachers from school, still respect a lot things they taught, try to meet up with a few when I am in Lucknow so what difference would it have made if I had touched their feet?