cybervickey Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
cybervickey Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 oday, my girlfriend threw my things out. As I was trying to pack to leave for good, she tossed my wireless router. I leave to call someone to pick me up, she slaps me in my head, grabs keys, balls up her fist and threatens to kill me. I call the cops... and I get put in the cop car immediately. FML
cybervickey Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Today, three girls introduced themselves to me. I had met all of them before. FML
cybervickey Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML
Predator_05 Posted February 6, 2009 Author Posted February 6, 2009 Today' date=' a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Oh man...*wipes away tear*
Ram Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Some of these dont sound real.. They look like they've simply been made up...
Predator_05 Posted February 6, 2009 Author Posted February 6, 2009 Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Good explanation ? "Honey...i, err...forgot to clip my nails".
beetle Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Today, I put my paint brush into my cup of tea. FML :omg:......happens often to me.
cybervickey Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML that is just plain wrong !
h4te Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Today' date=' in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
cybervickey Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Today, I went out for a drink with my girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly until her phone rang, she took the call and cut whoever it was off quite quickly by saying "I can't talk right now, I'm in the middle of a break-up". I certainly wasn't aware. FML
cybervickey Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Today, I met a really hot chick while waiting for the bus. We spoke for 4 hours till we got to our destination. She hugged me and we parted ways. Later that day I realised she stole my phone. FML
flamy Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML. :cantstop:
h4te Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML. :cantstop:
Desi Cartman Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML :giggle: Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML :haha:
Desi Cartman Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 EPIC FML Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML :hysterical:
Predator_05 Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML :haha: Mast pwnage :hysterical: ...but not as good as; Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML :haha::haha::haha:
Desi Cartman Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Today, the only girl I'm friends with deleted my comment off of her profile because she was too embarrassed that people would see we were friends. FML I guess @mit$ left this one
Guest Hiten. Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 F my life. Don't need to say anything else...this should be explanatory itself
flamy Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 F my life. Don't need to say anything else...this should be explanatory itself ur sig says "sach is life" and you say "f my life" :hmmm:
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