Desi Cartman Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML :cantstop: Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML Today, I am staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML :haha:
Predator_05 Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 F my life. Don't need to say anything else...this should be explanatory itself Chup kar saale. Mere KOOL thread pe kahe ko thook maar raha hai, be ?
Desi Cartman Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML :hysterical: Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML
Guest Hiten. Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 ur sig says "sach is life" and you say "f my life" :hmmm: that was then....now its this
Sachinism Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML Today, my boss asked me to pick up an extra shift. I said I couldn't because I have a date. He told me I didn't need to lie and to just say no next time. FML Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML ROFL
Sachinism Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML
zubinpepsi Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 yesterday, I realized that I have been scanning the documents the other side only after 1,5 hrs of trying hard to scan the docs.. FML
Sachinism Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a *****." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
THX_1138 Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Spilt milk all over my report, the very report i had been working on all weekend. presentation due in two hours, with a 50 minute commute. Majorly **** my life, like in the ass without lube.
flamy Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Spilt milk all over my report' date=' the very report i had been working on all weekend. presentation due in two hours, with a 50 minute commute. Majorly **** my life, like in the ass without lube.[/quote'] :haha::haha:
punjabi_khota Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Spilt milk all over my report' date=' the very report i had been working on all weekend. presentation due in two hours, with a 50 minute commute. Majorly **** my life, like in the ass without lube.[/quote'] Do you write your reports by hand instead of printing them ? Welcome to the 70s?
h4te Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Spilt milk all over my report' date=' the very report i had been working on all weekend. presentation due in two hours, with a 50 minute commute. Majorly **** my life,[b'] like in the ass without lube. go on....i'm interested :woot: :woot: :woot:
DomainK Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 This site has become a good time pass.::two_thumbs_up:
vadodaravictor Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 Last night, I came home late. There is construction going on in my apartments' parking lot. Hence I parked in a spot with label "Parking from 4 PM to 7 AM" only. I thought I will wake up and move car at 7 AM. I woke up at 8:30 and my car was towed. Later on I realized that we had moved 1 hour ahead and I forgot to change my alarm clock. Paid $200 in fine. FML:banghead::banghead::banghead:
flamy Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 ^^ Seriously! Something's gotta be done abt this damn DST
Sachinism Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Desi Cartman Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Today' date=' I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time. FML[/quote'] kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... for real ?
DomainK Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Today' date=' I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time. FML[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
flamy Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Today' date=' I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time. FML[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Dirty_South Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Today' date=' I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time. FML[/quote'] :cantstop:
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