BOONIE!

[Mr. Wicket]

All are entirely true, but not worth testing for one's own good. -- The quickest way to a man's heart is with Boonie's Gray Nicholls. Boonie's tears don't cure cancer, but they do cure a hard earned thirst as they are 7.8% alcohol. When Boonie sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready at short leg. Boonie has not had to pay taxes. Ever. Boonie once ate four 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes hitting boundaries. Boonie once shot a British plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Howzat!" A drunken David Boon once burst into the Channel 9 commentary box and exposed himself. Richie Benaud was heard to later describe it as "marvellous". Boonie does not drink like a horse. Horses drink like Boonie. During a one-dayer against the West Indies, David Boon split his bat down the middle, and was forced to bat using only his hand. After several consecutive injuries to the fielding team, the umpires declared the match over and declared Boonie the winner. There are no retired bowlers. Only bowlers who have met Boonie. David Boon can count to infinity. He just can't be arsed. Boonie does not wear a groin protector. Cricket balls are made of leather to withstand the impact of David Boon's groin. When a Danish newspaper published a cartoon of David Boon without a moustache, Tasmanians from around the world started rioting. Like most people, David Boon can crush a beer can against his forehead. Unlike most people, the beer can does not need to be emtpy. [PS: Ravi, if I've left out any, throw more in. :hic: ]

[Gambit]

Re: BOONIE! :lmao: :lmao:

[beetle]

Re: BOONIE! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

[Sooda]

Re: BOONIE! lol You get the same kinda lines ( better really- truly hilarious) for Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer

[Mr. Wicket]

Re: BOONIE! Most of the Chuck Norris ones though are highly exaggerated. Or they don't tell the full story. For example, you only hear that Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. But nobody says that only Boonie can make Chuck Norris cry. Or that Chuck Norris has never lost a single fight. But has in fact never won a drinking contest against Boonie.