Dark Warrior Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Michelle Obama was wearing a lovely cotton dress yesterday..... I wonder if she picked it herself?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gunner Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Michelle Obama was wearing a lovely cotton dress yesterday..... I wonder if she picked it herself?! Super politically incorrect. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sachin=GOD Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 tried to text my girlfriend last night to say 'sorry babe. I can't come over tonight. I have to work. I'll see you next week'After I sent it I read it back and it said 'Susan' date=' I don't see this relationship working. I am going to dump you in a public place next week. We won't see each other until a night out in three months when we will have some drunken sex and both feel horrible the morning after.'I had fecking predictive text on.[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Warrior Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Super politically incorrect. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Haha. Atleast someone got the joke :cantstop: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sachinism Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I've just put a fresh batch of brownies in the oven. I love my new job at the Indian crematorium Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 My missus rang me earlier and said "where the hell are you?"... I replied "you know that jewellers where we saw those diamond earrings you really liked?" "yes" she said in a much softer voice "well, i'm in the pub opposite"....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 Essex girl in crash says i think i have concussion paramedic asks how many fingers have i got up? The girl replies oh god my fannys paralysed too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 I keep telling my wife not to turn her head away near the end of a blow job but does she listen ? NO ! It goes in one ear and out the other !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger! It was only when I had my trousers and pants round my ankles , that I realised she wanted to rent her spare room out!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 If airlines want to know how to stop black ash getting in their flaps they should speak to cheryl cole! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laaloo Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I keep telling my wife not to turn her head away near the end of a blow job but does she listen ? NO ! It goes in one ear and out the other !!! :hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravishingravi Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 If airlines want to know how to stop black ash getting in their flaps they should speak to cheryl cole! :hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaurav92 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Singh kills a deer & cooks it & doesnt tell the kids what it is. He gives them a clue "It's something your Mom calls me" Son screams "Don't eat it... It's a KUTTA!" Jack and Jill went up the hill' date=' so jack could lick her fanny, jack got a shock & a mouthful of co*k cos jills a fecking tranny![/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 Boy says to his dad 'we talked about prisms today at school and i found them really interesting' 'thats good' says the dad 'cos as a dyxlexic nig*er youre going to be spending a lot of time in them' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 Went dogging with the wife the other night. Never again. By the time she had finished parking everyone else had fecked off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 for gunner Irony: More than half the Tottenham Hotspur team are black; and yet Gareth Bale is the one who most resembles a monkey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 A man walks into a Welsh pub and orders a white wine spritzer. The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him..."Where are you from? You sound English", "I'm from across the Severn ," replies the man nervously. "What do you do, just across the Severn ?", "I'm a taxidermist." "What on earth is one of those?", "I mount animals." "It s alright boys," shouts the barman he's one of us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Warrior Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 It was Rebecca Black's Birthday y'day, She is 14, last year she was 13, Next year she is 15, and 16 comes after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 Man rolls over in bed & grins at wife - she says Not tonight darling I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and want 2 stay clean. Man rolls over feeling rejected. After 5 minutes he rolls back over and asks 'Do u have a dentist appointment tomorrow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 Billy was watching TV. Next day Billy comes downstairs & asks his Dad what's love juice? His father looks horrified & tells Billy all about sex & why a womans vagina gets wet. Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement. Dad asks, "So what were you watching?" Billy replies, "Wimbledon!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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