punjabiplaya Posted July 26, 2011 Author Posted July 26, 2011 Amy winehouse bumps into princess diana at the pearly gates,she asks Diana "why is ur halo black?" Diana said "Amy ur obviously still off ur tits, this is a steering wheel."
punjabiplaya Posted July 26, 2011 Author Posted July 26, 2011 Rupert Murdoch has said he is touched by some of the messages people have left on Amy's phone..
punjabiplaya Posted July 26, 2011 Author Posted July 26, 2011 I said to my wife "I had a wet dream about you last night"."Aww, you did, that's sweet" my wife replied."Yeah, I dreamt you were hit by a bus and I pis*ed myself laughing"
punjabiplaya Posted July 26, 2011 Author Posted July 26, 2011 Amy Winehouse approaches the gates of Heaven and is at the back of a massive queue of people. St. Peter sees her and beckons her to the front. "Am I getting special treatment because of my fame?" she asks. St. Peter replies, "No, we're still waiting for a Norwegian translator for this lot!"
Laaloo Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Amy Winehouse approaches the gates of Heaven and is at the back of a massive queue of people. St. Peter sees her and beckons her to the front. "Am I getting special treatment because of my fame?" she asks. St. Peter replies' date=' "No, we're still waiting for a Norwegian translator for this lot!"[/quote'] CRUEL but :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Guest Gunner Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Elton john has been confirmed to sing at Amy Winehouse's funeral' date=' he will be singing a rendition of "Candle under the spoon".[/quote']
Yoda-esque Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 The adult version of twinkle twinkle little star composed by a sardar Dimple dimple little star, let me feel under ur salwar, up above the thigh so high, always juicy never dry, come on baby dont be shy, let sardarji have a try :haha: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Did you make that up?:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Dark Warrior Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Amy winehouse bumps into princess diana at the pearly gates' date='she asks Diana "why is ur halo black?" Diana said "Amy ur obviously still off ur tits, this is a steering wheel."[/quote']
phaedrus Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Rupert Murdoch has said he is touched by some of the messages people have left on Amy's phone.. Amy Winehouse approaches the gates of Heaven and is at the back of a massive queue of people. St. Peter sees her and beckons her to the front. "Am I getting special treatment because of my fame?" she asks. St. Peter replies' date=' "No, we're still waiting for a Norwegian translator for this lot!"[/quote'] we are all going to hell :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 "Waiter, waiter! There is a dead junkie with terrible hair on my table.""I'm sorry Sir, I thought you ordered the Winehouse.""No, you stupid Polish cu*t, I ordered the 'House Wine'."
punjabiplaya Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 We should always respect the dead, even if the person was ugly, had sailor tattoos, slurred their speech, lived with a lifelong addiction and relied upon a fix to get through the day... RIP Popeye.
punjabiplaya Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 Camping trip to Norway cancelled Tickets for Amy Winehouse cancelled. Now cos of stress I am in hospital in stockport on a drip. At least the nurse is nice - her names Rebecca and she's just changing my drip.
punjabiplaya Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 Nintendo have just brought a game out where a 14yr old boy runs around the streets of Glasgow smashing cars, stabbing people & robbing houses....!! It's called Wii Basta*d...!
Dark Warrior Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 What do you call girls who can run faster than me? Virgins
Dark Warrior Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Morpheus and Neo are plugged in to the Matrix and having a chat.Morpheus turns to Neo, "In this world you can be anything you want."There is a short silence.Neo: "Then why are you a "n i g g e r"?"
punjabiplaya Posted July 28, 2011 Author Posted July 28, 2011 Whats the difference between Jeremy Clarkson & Amy Winehouse? Clarkson's still doing Top Gear
punjabiplaya Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 A starving asylum seeker is greeted at Dover by a good fairy who grants him 3 wishes! He says ''i'm hungry'' pow... A huge banquet appears! ''he says i want a nice house'' pow... A mansion with a swimming pool appears! ''i want to be British!'' pow... The mansion, the banquet everything vanishes! He asks ''where's everything gone? The fairy says "you're British now mate, you're entitled to feck all!''
punjabiplaya Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 Recession Beater! Wife says to husband - 'If you cycle to work we could get rid of the 2nd car!' Husband replies, 'If you take it up the ar*e and let me come on your face we could get rid of the Nanny!'
punjabiplaya Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 A woman goes into a shoe shop & spots a gorgeous pair of shoes. Shop assistant says aren't they lovely, they are made of genuine human skin,they cost £2000, but don't worry if thats too expensive, we've got them in black for £4.99
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