Laaloo Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 A rich gujju had an accident, in his new BMW... The cops came and gujju asks sadly "Officer mari brand new car!" Cop: your materialistic nature makes me sick and you are so blinded by money that you don't even realize your left arm is gone in the accident...Gujju looks at his left arm and shouts "Siiiiit! Maari rolex...=D. :two_thumbs_up:
beetle Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I went to see the Red Arrows today. There were gasps of "Ooh" and "Aah" as the crowds watched on in amazement. Near miss after near miss had some people covering their eyes and shaking their heads in disbelief. It was a good half hour's worth of entertainment, but in the end, my wife finally managed to park the car and we made our way to the air show. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:mere jaisi hogi...
jimmy321321 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 My wife died three years ago when a delivery driver for Heinz ran a red light and plowed into her car. Since then, I've just never been able to eat that brand of soup. It just dribbles out the sides of my grin.
jimmy321321 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 After sinking yet another whiskey, it finally sunk in for Batman his marriage was over after his divorce came through. "Look on the bright side" Robin said, putting an arm round his crime fighting pal. "At least you won't need to get a fathers for justice outfit."
donkey Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 Your jokes are too confusing Jimmy, screw you. :yousuck:
jimmy321321 Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 My wife noticed me walking out the bedroom with a pair of her knickers in my hand "what you doing with them?" she asked. I replied "I'm painting and need a cover for the floor"
jimmy321321 Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 My wife was driving the car, and I sat there terrified, hoping to fu*c she wasn't going to crash. She sped on, occasionally hitting other cars here and there but didn't even care. After a long minute of adrenaline, she rammed into a truck and caused a fatal accident. Recovering from what just happened, I slowly turned to her. "What the fu*k?! Can't you see WHERE you're going?!" I yelled, smacking her face on the floor repeatedly. Then I took away her controller, no more Gran Turismo for her.
jimmy321321 Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Your jokes are too confusing Jimmy' date=' screw you. :yousuck:[/quote'] Oh im sorry il put some knock knock jokes on for you :--D Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Some. Some who? Some bit*h telling you a fuc*ing knock, knock joke!
gaurav92 Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 I called hotel management from the hotel room and said, "Please, come quick. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she'll jump out the window of your hotel". "That is a personal matter," answered the hotel manager. "**** you!" I screamed. "The window won't open so that's a maintenance matter."
Sachin=GOD Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 I went to see the Red Arrows today. There were gasps of "Ooh" and "Aah" as the crowds watched on in amazement. Near miss after near miss had some people covering their eyes and shaking their heads in disbelief. It was a good half hour's worth of entertainment, but in the end, my wife finally managed to park the car and we made our way to the air show. :giggle:
Desi Cartman Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 I called hotel management from the hotel room and said, "Please, come quick. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she'll jump out the window of your hotel". "That is a personal matter," answered the hotel manager. "**** you!" I screamed. "The window won't open so that's a maintenance matter." :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
yoda Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 I called hotel management from the hotel room and said, "Please, come quick. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she'll jump out the window of your hotel". "That is a personal matter," answered the hotel manager. "**** you!" I screamed. "The window won't open so that's a maintenance matter." :hysterical:
yoda Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Ladies' date=' if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every six months about it.[/quote'] :hysterical:
Sidhoni Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 I went to see the Red Arrows today. There were gasps of "Ooh" and "Aah" as the crowds watched on in amazement. Near miss after near miss had some people covering their eyes and shaking their heads in disbelief. It was a good half hour's worth of entertainment, but in the end, my wife finally managed to park the car and we made our way to the air show. :hysterical:
jimmy321321 Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 I saw a woman trying to park her car in the Tesco car park today. After a few minutes I went over and said, "Would you like me to do that for you?" "No thanks," she replied. "Are you sure?" I asked, as I walked out with my shopping 45 minutes later.
jimmy321321 Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 I was just about to go speed-dating, when I asked my mate for some advice. "Just agree with what she says," he said, "and, more importantly, act as if you like everything she likes." "Thanks, mate," I said, before trotting off to the venue. I arrived and took my seat. As I sat at the table a stunning blonde girl came over... "Hi," she said. "I'm going to put this out in the open right now: I love nothing more than sucking di*k and being fuc*ed up the a*se." "Me too!" I replied.
punjabiplaya Posted September 16, 2012 Author Posted September 16, 2012 I just bought a DVD about erectile dysfunction. But I can't get it in the slot.
punjabiplaya Posted September 16, 2012 Author Posted September 16, 2012 I just donated some sperm... The bird shaking the charity bucket didn't look too impressed though
jimmy321321 Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 My wife started flashing her nipples trying to get into a club. I shouted, "For fu*k's sake, love, pull your skirt down!"
Crookbond Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 I just donated some sperm... The bird shaking the charity bucket didn't look too impressed though :haha:
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