beetle Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Two Radical Pakistanis boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat... Just before takeoff, a Sardarji sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, Sardarji kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Paki in the window seat said, 'I need to get up and get a coke.' ' Don't get up,' said the Sardarji , 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.' As soon as he left, one of the Paki picked up the Sardarji ‘s shoe and spit in it. When the Sardarji returned with the coke, the other Paki said, 'That looks good, I'd really like one, too.' Again, the Sardarji obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Paki picked up the Sardarji ‘s other shoe and spit in it. When the Sardarji returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Sardarji slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Paki neighbors . . . 'Why does it have to be this way?' 'How long must this go on . . . ? This fighting between our nations . . . ? This hatred . . . ? This animosity . . . ? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes . . . ? :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: old one but always hilarious..............:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:the spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes....:hysterical::hysterical:
kumar713 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 As the doctor went through my notes, he said, "The surgery has risks. You will almost certainly regain the sight in your eyes but there is a chance it will affect your ability to maintain an erection." I said, "How come?" He said, "Well ... your wife is fecking ugly." :hysterical: :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted August 4, 2013 Author Posted August 4, 2013 A Paki stopped me in the street and said ,"Excuse me, I am new round here and trying to find my way home." "Stop right there," I said, "I'll get you a taxi to the airport."
punjabiplaya Posted August 4, 2013 Author Posted August 4, 2013 An old pensioner is hobbling his way home through the red light district. "Hey, Handsome, how about it?" "You're joking," says the 90-year-old, "I just can't manage it any more." "Ah, come on," says the wh*re, "it'll be really nice." After a bit of humming and hawing, the pensioner goes along and when they finally get onto the who*es's bed he rides her like a fecking god, giving her multiple real orgasms and wearing her out. She can't believe it when he finally shoots his load and gives her a break. "Wow, old man," says the who*es, exhausted, "that was such a great feck. And you said you couldn't manage it any more?" "Oh I can still feck, Honey," says the old geezer, "it's just that I can't pay :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 I stopped a guy in the street and said, "Can you help me? I'm looking for a rubbish tip." He said, "Arsenal to win the Premiership." :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 I stopped a guy in the street and said, "Can you help me? I'm looking for a rubbish tip." He said, "Arsenal to win the Premiership." :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 I had to rush my paki neighbour to hospital after a bee landed on his face. He's not allergic or anything. I just happened to be beside him, armed with a spade.
punjabiplaya Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. 'Well, it was like this,' said the man. 'I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake." 'What did you do?', asks the doctor. 'Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'
punjabiplaya Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 An old man goes to confession' forgive me father for i have sinned. Its been a week since my last confession. The father says "wots wrong my son? Well I met four models on friday nite, took them home and made love to them all nite. Wot do I do? Father says go home, take the juice of 4 lemons and drink it. Will that renouce my sins father? probably not my son. But it'll take that fecking smile off your face! :--D:--D
punjabiplaya Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 The BBC have announced that the new black Dr Who will have a companion, much like Tom Baker's K9. It will be an electronic parrot called Chip, that sits on his shoulder.
punjabiplaya Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 I've just created a new board game for pakis called 'Atrocity'. It's just like Monopoly except you start with the buildings on the board
punjabiplaya Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 In the Job Centre today, I interviewed a black guy. "What kind of work are you looking for?" I asked him. "I want to join the Police, rise through the ranks and do something about the racism that corrupts the force." he explained. "I'll just put 'comedian'."
punjabiplaya Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 When having sex with a Thai prostitute it's always better to wear a condom. Even if she doesn't want to.
punjabiplaya Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 What do you call a nig*a in a policeman's uniform? The stripper.
Sid Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 An old pensioner is hobbling his way home through the red light district. "Hey, Handsome, how about it?" "You're joking," says the 90-year-old, "I just can't manage it any more." "Ah, come on," says the wh*re, "it'll be really nice." After a bit of humming and hawing, the pensioner goes along and when they finally get onto the who*es's bed he rides her like a fecking god, giving her multiple real orgasms and wearing her out. She can't believe it when he finally shoots his load and gives her a break. "Wow, old man," says the who*es, exhausted, "that was such a great feck. And you said you couldn't manage it any more?" "Oh I can still feck, Honey," says the old geezer, "it's just that I can't pay :hysterical: :cantstop:
SLICKR392 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Two Radical Pakistanis boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat... Just before takeoff, a Sardarji sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, Sardarji kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Paki in the window seat said, 'I need to get up and get a coke.' ' Don't get up,' said the Sardarji , 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.' As soon as he left, one of the Paki picked up the Sardarji ‘s shoe and spit in it. When the Sardarji returned with the coke, the other Paki said, 'That looks good, I'd really like one, too.' Again, the Sardarji obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Paki picked up the Sardarji ‘s other shoe and spit in it. When the Sardarji returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Sardarji slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Paki neighbors . . . 'Why does it have to be this way?' 'How long must this go on . . . ? This fighting between our nations . . . ? This hatred . . . ? This animosity . . . ? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes . . . ? :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical:
SLICKR392 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 As the doctor went through my notes, he said, "The surgery has risks. You will almost certainly regain the sight in your eyes but there is a chance it will affect your ability to maintain an erection." I said, "How come?" He said, "Well ... your wife is fecking ugly." :hysterical: :giggle:
punjabiplaya Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 Just came round in hospital after a bad accident, there was a pretty young nurse next to my bed and she said "you may not feel anything below the waist." So I fondled her tits. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 I had to rush my pakistani neighbour to hospital after a bee landed on his face. He's not allergic or anything. I just happened to be beside him, armed with a spade. :haha:
b555 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 why did the maid run away after washing the utensils? Because they turned shiney
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