punjabiplaya Posted December 23, 2014 Author Posted December 23, 2014 In town, I called into Starbucks. "Er, a latte please," I asked. "Fat-free?" replied the girl at the counter. "Yeah, I've left the wife shopping." :--D
punjabiplaya Posted December 23, 2014 Author Posted December 23, 2014 I've just hired a nineteen year-old Swedish girl with massive tits to babysit my kids. Now, where the feck am I going to get some kids from?
punjabiplaya Posted December 23, 2014 Author Posted December 23, 2014 my wife is so particular and annying at times... My wife says that we can't use the same babysitter again. "Why?" I asked. "Is it because I paid her too much?" "No, it was the right amount" she replied, "but you didn't have to stick the money in her cleavage." :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted December 23, 2014 Author Posted December 23, 2014 I went for a job interview with the police. I thought I'd blown the observation test when they'd played this graphic video with two coppers giving this Pakistani a right pasting. It was so violent that I winced and dropped my coffee. "Now what can you tell me about what you've seen?" asked the Inspector. "I'm really sorry but nothing much at all because I was cleaning up the coffee." "Good lad, you've got the job." :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted December 27, 2014 Author Posted December 27, 2014 Why Is Google like a woman? Because it won't let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions. :hysterical:
Old guy Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Why Is Google like a woman? Because it won't let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions. :hysterical: :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted January 4, 2015 Author Posted January 4, 2015 I can't believe my mother-in-law persuaded my wife to leave me. And to think, I thought badly of her all these years. :hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 4, 2015 Author Posted January 4, 2015 I walked in on my mother in law having a bath yesterday as she was stopping with us for a short while. After months of simmering tension between us, this was the opportunity I had been waiting for and before we knew it, one thing had led to another and I couldn't stop myself. I drowned her. :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted January 4, 2015 Author Posted January 4, 2015 They say sex can be a wonderful way to reconcile feelings and make up after an argument. What a load of s*it. It didn't work with the Traffic Warden this morning!!
punjabiplaya Posted January 4, 2015 Author Posted January 4, 2015 As she knelt in front of me and ran her hand up my leg, i felt myself losing control and couldn't hold it back anymore so I quickly took my c*ck out and shoved it in her mouth, she instantly got up and told me to feck off. Anyone recommend any good tailors? :--D
velu Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 As she knelt in front of me and ran her hand up my leg, i felt myself losing control and couldn't hold it back anymore so I quickly took my c*ck out and shoved it in her mouth, she instantly got up and told me to feck off. Anyone recommend any good tailors? :--D :two_thumbs_up::two_thumbs_up:
punjabiplaya Posted January 8, 2015 Author Posted January 8, 2015 I told my wife I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help. So I hired a hitman. :--D
punjabiplaya Posted January 8, 2015 Author Posted January 8, 2015 When I saw my ex girlfriend was in the gym today i was like oh feck!!! I ran a mile. I didn't get very far though I was on a treadmill.
punjabiplaya Posted January 8, 2015 Author Posted January 8, 2015 cant ever please my wife!!!!!!!!!! Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Me: "You have perfect eyesight." :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted January 8, 2015 Author Posted January 8, 2015 A husband asks his wife, "Will you marry after I die?" The wife responds, "No, I will live with my sister." The wife asks him back, "Will you marry after I die?" The husband responds, "No, I will also live with your sister." :cantstop:
kumar713 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 punjabiplaya:two_thumbs_up::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
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