punjabiplaya Posted October 14, 2010 Author Posted October 14, 2010 I took my dog down to the dole office to see what he was entitled to. Bloke behind the counter said "we dont give benefits 2 dogs!" I said "why not? He's black, he smells, he's never worked and he can't speak english!". Bloke says point taken His 1st payment is next monday!
punjabiplaya Posted October 14, 2010 Author Posted October 14, 2010 Paddy's girlfriend gets a tattoo of a sea shell on the top of her inner thigh. Paddy thinks it's fecking amazing because if u put your ear to it u can actually smell the sea!
punjabi_khota Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Today a friend asked me "If we could eliminate one race from the Commonwealth Games 2014' date=' what would it be?" I said "Paki's!" Apparently everyone else said the 800 metres.[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical:
The Outsider Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Today a friend asked me "If we could eliminate one race from the Commonwealth Games 2014' date=' what would it be?" I said "Paki's!" Apparently everyone else said the 800 metres.[/quote'] I took my dog down to the dole office to see what he was entitled to. Bloke behind the counter said "we dont give benefits 2 dogs!" I said "why not? He's black' date=' he smells, he's never worked and he can't speak english!". Bloke says point taken His 1st payment is next monday![/quote'] Paddy's girlfriend gets a tattoo of a sea shell on the top of her inner thigh. Paddy thinks it's fecking amazing because if u put your ear to it u can actually smell the sea! Brilliant! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 Newlyweds undressing, groom removes socks,bride asks wots wrong with ur feet-ur toes all mangled? I had Tolio as child. U mean polio? No Tolio,the disease only affected my toes.Groom removes trousers&bride asks wots wrong wiv ur knees,they're deformed? As a child i had kneasles. U mean measles? No Kneasles-a strange illness that only affected my knees.Groom removes his boxers...dont tell me, says bride - fecking smallcox?
punjabiplaya Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 I braked hard but still hit the car in front of me. A cute blond gets out and shouts "Ram me up the ass as hard as you can why don't you!"And this, your Honour, is where all the confusion started... :winky:
punjabiplaya Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 Chilean miner making love to his wife for first time since release...'Can we switch the lights off?...' 'Of course honey...''Can I have you from behind...?''Anything you want my brave boy...''OK, can I call you Pedro...?' :hysterical:
yoda Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Chilean miner making love to his wife for first time since release...'Can we switch the lights off?...' 'Of course honey...''Can I have you from behind...?''Anything you want my brave boy...''OK, can I call you Pedro...?' :hysterical: :hysterical:
DomainK Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Paddy's girlfriend gets a tattoo of a sea shell on the top of her inner thigh. Paddy thinks it's fecking amazing because if u put your ear to it u can actually smell the sea! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Karan114 Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Today a friend asked me "If we could eliminate one race from the Commonwealth Games 2014' date=' what would it be?" I said "Paki's!" Apparently everyone else said the 800 metres.[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 UK PEOPLE ............. X FACTOR FANS! If you are missing Gamu, don't worry! From next Wednesday you'll be able to sponsor her for £3 a month!
Sachinism Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 UK PEOPLE ............. X FACTOR FANS! If you are missing Gamu, don't worry! From next Wednesday you'll be able to sponsor her for £3 a month! lol I heard the variation of look out for her in the background during Comic Relief next year :--D
Dark Warrior Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Judge says to kid ''do you want to live with your daddy?'' Kid: ''no he beats me!'' Judge: ''do you want to live with your mommy?'' Kid: ''no, she beats me!'' Judge: ''well who do you want to live with?'' Kid: ''pakistan team! they dont beat anybody!''
zubinpepsi Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Two old ladies meet up at the park one says to the other one, "Did you come on the bus?" and the other says "Yeah, but I made it look like an asthma attack!"
punjabiplaya Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 My old nan bless her, she knitted me an orange jumper with the logo on the front reading " all pakis should be hung by the neck & then torched". I said to her "nan! i cant wear this". "Why not" she asked ? " i replied " its a fecking medium ".
punjabiplaya Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 I said to the missus 'Fancy playing a game of Chilean miners?' She said 'Oooh, so you want me to go all the way down your shaft till I get right to the bottom?' I said, 'No. I just want you to feck off out of my sight for 4 months!'
punjabiplaya Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 A blind man goes to see a prostitute. On feeling her pimply face, he recoils in horror! Feeling hurt, the prostitute says to him, "It's only a bit of acne." The blind man replies, "Thank feck for that, I thought it was the price list!" :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:
Jadoo Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 A blind man goes to see a prostitute. On feeling her pimply face, he recoils in horror! Feeling hurt, the prostitute says to him, "It's only a bit of acne." The blind man replies, "Thank feck for that, I thought it was the price list!" :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
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