ICF Page 2 articles

[CSK Fan]

Thanks guys.

[Yoda-esque]

:hysterical::hysterical: OMG! That was hilarious..You should write more often dude!

[gaurav92]

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Awesome stuff MTC :nice:

[Prakat]

Good read, MTC! very insightful and topical.

[Mariyam]

ICF strategy of homogenity and uniformity

Experts have praised the strategy of some ICF posters by which they have been driving a growing level of homogenity on the site. It first started with the voice of all Sachin detractors being silenced. It took months of efforts and bumping of numerous threads, constant ridicule and stalking each detractor to finally quell all the revolts. Now, even when Sachin fails to deliver even in a crucial match, not one dares open a new thread blaming the master. The next step was to ridicule certain posters who wanted to discuss alternative theories which though seemingly outlandish, was still well thought of and debatable on an internet forum. Finally, the last and the best part of the strategy is to accuse all new-comers of different nationality of being Pakistanis, trolls or both (Pakistani posters have it easy and are just accused of being trolls) whenever they write a word against India and thus making them fall in line with the general Indian love or seek other pastures. Serves them right too. As a result today we have most threads and most posters agreeing with each other, singing praises of India and Sachin, which is exactly what we want. Scientists are studying this succesful method which will be used to drive homogenity amongst colonies of amoeba and bacteria

:haha: x 100000 Funny, yet true. Love this part. :hatsoff:

[Sidhoni]

:hysterical:

[CSK Fan]

We collectively decided to call back Bell-Dhoni

Dhoni today put paid to the rumours crediting various players with the decision to call back Bell by stating that it was a collective call. "All of our batsmen were of the opinion that the later we faced the English bowlers, the better it would be for us. It was either this or sending PK and Bhajji out to open for us as they were the only two guys willing to open. Mukund mysteriously lost his left shoe, Yuvraj pulled a hamstring since he put too much weight on one ass-cheek while sitting and Sachin suddenly discovered the true spirit of cricket. In such a scenario, with Bhajji being injured, we had no option but to call Bell back to bat a bit more. I even spread the field around for the same reason". Asked whether the no 1 team should be even thinking along these lines, Dhoni misunderstood and said, " Well we really had to beg Strauss to let Bell play again and Bell said he wanted some rest after his long innings. But we reminded them that a true number one team shouldnt bring up such excuses and they relented"

English women not surprised by England's reaction to the second test win

A majority of English women said that they were not surprised by the media, experts and fans reaction after winning the second test comfortably. When asked by our reporter whether they didnt think that the wild proclamations of being no1 and celebrations weren't pre-mature considering that there were still two matches to go, many replied with, "Pre-mature, thats the word, tell us about it. Look, they (the men) have never been number one in the sport they invented, never won the world cup, so is it a surprise that whenever they are in sight of either, or win two consecutive series in a row, they all have a collective er... celebration. We women know our men and its not a surprise for us that they might be a bit er... pre-mature in their er........celebrations and stuff. At least you guys are exposed very rarely to it, we have to bear the brunt every day". Asked whether the men had the capality to carry on their good work and go all the way, the women showed a surprising lack of confidence in their counter-parts. "Going by past performances, we would say no. Soon they will be all spent, lose interest and go back to sleep without coming any closer to their goal. Its the same pattern everytime."

[gaurav92]

Awesome :nice:

[TheWall]

:hysterical:

[CSK Fan]

Bump

[gaurav92]

My first contribution to this thread :icflove:

Afridi blames BCCI for his 'conditional' retirement

While the condition of Cricket in the Padosi-Land continues to suffer, their ring master Afridi has blamed BCCI for his retirement. He said "We lost the game against India, because Poonam Pandey promised to go for the skin show, but till now we are all waiting as it has not happened, sources reveal that BCCI asked her not to do so as its immoral". He further went on to say that "Indians don't keep up their promises and they don't have large hearts like us". But when he was questioned as to why did he earlier said that his reason for retirement is some issues with PCB and should one lose an all important semi final just for the sake of skin show which is "Haraam", he changed the topic by talking about the Tea Stall near his place, for the inauguration of which he was the chief guest. Meanwhile PCB has backed Afridi with his statement and the differences between the two has been sorted out. Now Afridi will soon unretire himself and the Circus will make a new move.

Agarkar hopeful of a comeback

While India's bowling woes continues, the legend of Ajit Agarkar refuses to give up."The form and fitness of Indian bowlers always keeps my dream alive of making it large a comeback" he said in an interview of a Local news channel. When asked about his own form and fitness he said "Look, since I am not playing many games, I am hitting the gym early morning. I am not earning enough to pay the installments that are due on my Car, as a result, they have taken away my car. So I have to run all the way to the gym, and for practice, I have to catch Local Trains. What more exercise one needs to stay fit?" Further he went on to say that he is ready to fit in as an all rounder that the side needs desperately "We don't have a quality all round pace bowler in our side, and when we say pace bowler, we don't mean 120kph trundlers we mean seriously quick bowlers who can bat. England have Broad, Bresnan, therefore we need some of their kinds and I am sure I will be able to fit in as I have got a decent technique and more importantly a hundred at Lords." The interview ended in a positive note when he said that he is hopeful of India making a comeback and drawing the series 2-2.

[Guest Gunner]

My first contribution to this thread :icflove:

Afridi blames BCCI for his 'conditional' retirement

While the condition of Cricket in the Padosi-Land continues to suffer, their ring master Afridi have blamed BCCI for his retirement. He said "We lost the game against India, because Poonam Pandey promised to go for the skin show, but till now we are all waiting as it has not happened, sources reveal that BCCI asked her not to do so as its immoral".

Kyun maar raha hain sabki? :((:(( ANother unfunny chewtiyapa.

[Sidhoni]

We collectively decided to call back Bell-Dhoni

Dhoni today put paid to the rumours crediting various players with the decision to call back Bell by stating that it was a collective call. "All of our batsmen were of the opinion that the later we faced the English bowlers, the better it would be for us. It was either this or sending PK and Bhajji out to open for us as they were the only two guys willing to open. Mukund mysteriously lost his left shoe, Yuvraj pulled a hamstring since he put too much weight on one ass-cheek while sitting and Sachin suddenly discovered the true spirit of cricket. In such a scenario, with Bhajji being injured, we had no option but to call Bell back to bat a bit more. I even spread the field around for the same reason". Asked whether the no 1 team should be even thinking along these lines, Dhoni misunderstood and said, " Well we really had to beg Strauss to let Bell play again and Bell said he wanted some rest after his long innings. But we reminded them that a true number one team shouldnt bring up such excuses and they relented"

English women not surprised by England's reaction to the second test win

A majority of English women said that they were not surprised by the media, experts and fans reaction after winning the second test comfortably. When asked by our reporter whether they didnt think that the wild proclamations of being no1 and celebrations weren't pre-mature considering that there were still two matches to go, many replied with, "Pre-mature, thats the word, tell us about it. Look, they (the men) have never been number one in the sport they invented, never won the world cup, so is it a surprise that whenever they are in sight of either, or win two consecutive series in a row, they all have a collective er... celebration. We women know our men and its not a surprise for us that they might be a bit er... pre-mature in their er........celebrations and stuff. At least you guys are exposed very rarely to it, we have to bear the brunt every day". Asked whether the men had the capality to carry on their good work and go all the way, the women showed a surprising lack of confidence in their counter-parts. "Going by past performances, we would say no. Soon they will be all spent, lose interest and go back to sleep without coming any closer to their goal. Its the same pattern everytime."

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[ganeshran]

We collectively decided to call back Bell-Dhoni

Dhoni today put paid to the rumours crediting various players with the decision to call back Bell by stating that it was a collective call. "All of our batsmen were of the opinion that the later we faced the English bowlers, the better it would be for us. It was either this or sending PK and Bhajji out to open for us as they were the only two guys willing to open. Mukund mysteriously lost his left shoe, Yuvraj pulled a hamstring since he put too much weight on one ass-cheek while sitting and Sachin suddenly discovered the true spirit of cricket. In such a scenario, with Bhajji being injured, we had no option but to call Bell back to bat a bit more. I even spread the field around for the same reason". Asked whether the no 1 team should be even thinking along these lines, Dhoni misunderstood and said, " Well we really had to beg Strauss to let Bell play again and Bell said he wanted some rest after his long innings. But we reminded them that a true number one team shouldnt bring up such excuses and they relented"

English women not surprised by England's reaction to the second test win

A majority of English women said that they were not surprised by the media, experts and fans reaction after winning the second test comfortably. When asked by our reporter whether they didnt think that the wild proclamations of being no1 and celebrations weren't pre-mature considering that there were still two matches to go, many replied with, "Pre-mature, thats the word, tell us about it. Look, they (the men) have never been number one in the sport they invented, never won the world cup, so is it a surprise that whenever they are in sight of either, or win two consecutive series in a row, they all have a collective er... celebration. We women know our men and its not a surprise for us that they might be a bit er... pre-mature in their er........celebrations and stuff. At least you guys are exposed very rarely to it, we have to bear the brunt every day". Asked whether the men had the capality to carry on their good work and go all the way, the women showed a surprising lack of confidence in their counter-parts. "Going by past performances, we would say no. Soon they will be all spent, lose interest and go back to sleep without coming any closer to their goal. Its the same pattern everytime."

:hysterical::hysterical:

[Cricket Tragic]

Kyun maar raha hain sabki? :((:(( ANother unfunny chewtiyapa.

:cantstop: G92 :two_thumbs_up:

[gaurav92]

Thanks CT :icflove:

[CSK Fan]

G92 :two_thumbs_up:

[gaurav92]

Thanks MTC :icflove:

[CSK Fan]

Sachin to go on an in-definite fast

Sachin Tendulkar has announced his intention of going on an indefinite fast until ICC agreed to his split ODI rule. In a personal interview to our correspondent, Sachin explained why, " ICC has no business turning down any idea proposed by me. After 21 years, I would believe that I know more cricket than ICC. I also don't understand the reason behind this ICC stance. I mean they were perfectly fine when I was against the DRS and now have taken it completely off!" When our correspondent asked whether part of his idea might not be with the view of protecting his ODI records, Sachin vehemently denied such a thought. " I have never thought of records in my life. I don't play for records. Records are meant to be broken... ", Sachin continued in the same vein. According to our correspondent, the word record was used a record 376 times by him in 2 minutes mainly to explain why he didn't care for them. On the other hand, the word team was used exactly once, when Sachin said, " I don't care what other teams think about my idea". What a selfless player! Meanwhile crowds gathered all over the streets in a show of solidarity for Sachin. Bablu, one of the gatherers said, " Due to the government policies, we are already starving. We decided to use it for a cause. So now, when our family doesn't get three meals a day, we call it fasting". However, he insisted he was not from a poor family. " I earn Rs. 32.50 per day. According to the government, that makes me very middle-class. My brother who earns Rs. 31.50 on the other hand is very poor. So I make it a point to donate Rs. 0.50 to him every day." Now if only everyone was as charitable as Bablu, poverty would be a thing of past.

Bhajji surprised at being dropped

Harbhajan Singh expressed great surprise at being dropped from the ODI squad. " Yes, I am surprised. I was expecting to be dropped two years ago. Look at my performances over the last two years. But then I never was. I continued to give the same level of performances over the next two years, expecting to hold my place again but now I am dropped. Why wasn't I dropped two years ago? Or last year? What changed now? "

Mumbai club captain doesn't dedicate victory to Sachin

Curfew was declared in Mumbai after large scale riots and destruction. Sporadic violence also broke out in large areas of the country today. The incident started when a Mumbai Local XI cricket team won an un-named tournament. While giving the victory speech, Vijay Singh, the captain, dedicated the win to his parents. The handful of fans who were sitting in the park to kill time, were flabbergasted. Soon the entire locality was up in arms. The team's club-house was burned by a mob and Vijay Singh's parents immediately disowned and disinherited him. " He has condemned us to eternal hell by his deeds", said a sobbing Ajay Singh. The opposition team's captain, Viju Khote, who was presented with the trophy, after Mumbai Local XI was disqualified for blasphemy, said his club would not only dedicate the win to Sachin but also erect his statue in the park. Strong reactions about the incident came from all over the country. Digvijay Singh accused Vijay of being an ISI agent. An MNS spokesperson said this was the reason why north Indians shouldn't be allowed in Maharashtra. Rahul, a devotee of the largest and fastest growing religion in the world, Sachinism, said that freedom of speech should not be used to hurt the religious sentiments of a community. Meanwhile, Vijay Singh, recovering in a hospital, is facing a long jail-term after the supreme court asked the police to book him for his instigating and provocative speech In an unrelated incident, Pepsi has signed Sachin for $100 million. Sachin will be present in the Indian and IPL dressing room for the next ten years to cheer his team for each game

[ganeshran]

:hysterical::hysterical: Great stuff MTC