CSK Fan Posted March 4, 2012 Author Posted March 4, 2012 Mods can you merge this with this thread? http://indiancricketfans.com/showthread.php?t=249772
Swing_n_Speed Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 HAHAHAH loved it! Love this stuff. Great job OP!
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CSK Fan Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 Mhytical cricket beast sighted The world today was buzzing with another rumour of the sighting of a mythical beast of the species called 'The Indian fast bowler'. Though most scientists deny that such a species can exsist, rumours surface now and then. the most famous of these sightings are a 6 foot specimen going by the name of Atul. A couple of pictures rumoured to be of the beast have surfaced This beast is rumoured to be found near the grounds of any IPL ground though its has never been sighted on one. Atul believers are considered among the bottom most rung of conspiracy theorists, even below people believing in lizard people and 9/11 conspiracy However, believers like to point out that there are other ugly beasts who were thought to be equally mysterious who have surfaced in cricket. Pcitured below are two such beasts
CSK Fan Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 Disclaimer - Needless to say, this is a fcitional account and any names mentioned here are made up. Any resembelence to actual people are mere coincidences Cricket comes back to Pakistan Exclusive inside story from our Jeo-Jeo reporter Today our resilent nation has once again proved that Pakistan is one of the strongest nation in the world. They have single-handedly over come the conspiracy by BCCI/RAW/MOSSAD/CIA/KGB/FBI/IRAN/IRAQ/Japan/South Korea/Bad Taliban/Red Necks, Christians/Hindus and proved that Pakistan is the safest place in the world. Our correspondent brings you the inside scoop from the camps of the two teams whose couragous act brought back cricket to Pakistan. As I walked towards the ground, I could hardly contain my excitement and pride. Cricket, the glorious game, was finally back to my beloved country. There is no doubt that Pakistan is one of the leading lights in world stage and our prowess in cricket reflects this. There were long lines outside the stadium and people were patiently waiting. I walked towards them. There were some false alarms. The first line I went to, was for people trying to flee from the bad taliban. The second line was for people wanting to join the good taliban. The third line was for people who wanted to take an 'advance' on their promised 72 virgins. Its a mark of the openess and business acumen of Pakistan that any man can avail such a loan within 48 hours of application provided one can produce an impressionable teenager who can be 'trained' in the right 'stuff' in lieu of the loan on the virgin. Makes good business sense too. After all, no one will use all 72 of their virgins and it would be such a waste. Why not take an advance of 2-3 virgins now and keep the rest for after-life? Clearly these people were not aware of the event of improtance which was to happen today in the stadium which had been deserted for long. After a mild lathi-charge, threats of blowing oneself up and finally the buying of some police bullets for a nominal sum, the crowd departed, leaving behind the true cricket fans. I walked up to both of them and asked, "You have come early for the tickets, arent you bothered by the bright sun"? Ahmed, the first one replied," That mangy, son of a dog Abdul has stolen my new shoes and I am waiting for him to come out after the match so that I can skin him alive and maybe, God willing, book him for Blasphemy for good measure". I turned to the other guy who was patiently waiting in line for the tickets. "What about you? You love cricket dont you"? Ali replied with a sigh. "This sprain in my leg doesnt allow me to climb over the fence like the thousands who are already inside the stadium without tickets. So I am the only one who has to buy a ticket for this match" After the passionate fans, I had to meet the teams themselves. I decided to first meet our guests, who were brave and generous enough to tour us. As I made my way to the dressing room, the person checking my ID card seemed familiar. "Do I know you?". I asked. Turned out, he was M Hayward, who was doing double duty as the head of Presidential Security for the players. "Well, one has to earn a living. Not everyone can make it to the IPL, you know. Well the pay night not be that great, and some of it might involve virgins in after-life, but it still beats playing those Friends life T20 in England" After catching a first hand glimpse of the fool-proof security, I was able to interview the players. I praised Nel for being brave enough to come for this tour. He said, "Sure beats the asylum, err I mean the home, back in South Africa.". Then with a furitive look all around, he whisphered enigmatically into our correspondents ears, "Do you think Sreesanth can find me here"? With that cryptic remark, Nel ran hooting back to the dressing room. What a sport he is. Next I met the captain, the veteran and legend himself, Jayasuriya. Jayasurya was very non-chalant and called me into the dressing room. He was kind enough to let me sit next to the window with the sun-light pouring in. When I refused initially, he insisted and whispered, "snipers". A truly enigmatic personality with a strange sense of humor. Jaya told me how the security situation in Pakistan was exaggerated. After all, some simple security measures were all he needed. For example, he absolutely refused to go to the bathroom, as he was pretty sure there was a bomb under his commode. He also did not eat any food or drink on the entire tour. He was to be packed in bullet proof glass even on the cricket pitch. With such simple measures in place, any cricketer could play in Pakistan. That was his firm opinion. After meeting our guests, I went to the Paksitan dressing room, knowing that the players would be excited playing in front of their home crowd. Security here, was a bit lax though, as I only needed to pass through 4 metal detectors, 3 full body cavity search (although the last one seemed to be a pathan whose story about belonging to the secret un-named Pak army division seemed a bit unconvincing) and 2 strip searches, I was allowed entry to the dressing room. The first person I saw on entry was Afridi. I had to immeaditely go back to change my clothes as I had, understandably, wet myself in my excitement of seeing the legends of legends. P.S. his hair actually is that silky. Afridi was sitting on his chair while Hafeez was showing the proper deference to his seniors by kneeling in front of him. PCB officials were hovering nearby with wads of cash. "Remember", said Afridi", We pay 100k to Jaya, and 5K to Hayward for both matches". "What about me", said Malik. "Bro", said Afridi calmly, " you forget that this time we are not fixing matches to lose, but to win", Having made this profound observation, Afridi turned around to see me standing in the corner. Ever the modest man he is, he immeaditley jumped up and asked all the officials to leave. The interview went great and he humbly answered all my questions. Below is an excerpt Our correspondent - Would you bat first if you win the toss Afridi - We will win the toss, bat first and score between 221 and 223 runs Our correspondent - Are you worried about U. Akmal's form? Afridi- Yes, very worried. Thats why we are allwoing him to score a 50 today Our correspondent - You have a new and exciting bowler in Tabish Khan. Will he get a game today? Afridi- How will he get a hat-trick if he doesnt play? Everyone knows what happened next in the match that followed. Suffice to say, Pakistan is the best country in the world and the best in cricket. No matter how many comspiracies are hatched by our enemies, we will prevail, we will win and we will one day, God willing, prove ourseves and play in the IPL. Here's our correspondent signing off Unfortunately our correspondent disappeared on the way back to our office. We are still waiting for the ransom call. Either that, or he is on the way to UK for some fire-works. But fortunately we were able to find his notes which we have published verbatim
gaurav92 Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Brilliant as usual MTC :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
The Outsider Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 :hysterical::hysterical: Awesome stuff! Made my weekend just as it has started!
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