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Complaint from an Englishman


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Posted

As an England cricket fan im extremely confused by recent events and wish to lodge my complaint. Mainly that recent events are totally out of character for English sporting teams. I have been brought up well on a diet of pessimism and gleeful 'tutting' when England fails, as such i have come to enjoy it in a slightly masochistic way. It is perhaps the main (and until now only) joy of a sports fan from these shores, that we get to build our players up to then tear them down when they fail 'gloriously'. Indeed the 2003 Rugby world cup win was such a confusing time for the nation that since then our rugby boys have tried really, really, hard to be as **** as possible, even losing to ****** Wales recently! (maybe taking it too far but points for commitment). India...who the hell do you think you are to deny me that pessimism? **** you, and your ****** batting/bowling/fielding, that's our department, don't **** on another man's doorstep you party poopers'. We let you win all these years, (maybe it was guilt over the whole colonial thing, maybe it was that we sucked, who knows). but we adapted and thrived in our position of plucky underdog. But no, apparently this was too much to ask for, you couldn't let us just have this one little thing. So you had to give us the No.1 ranking and take our loser tag from us without even a 'by your leave.' Do you know how many **** cricketers/footballers we had to 'support' to get that tag? You think you can lose one series and just take it from us!? **** you India! No way! As such i've had a word with the lads, and they all agree they've been acting a bit silly, lost sight of the main goals, got carried away ect ect. Unfortunately its too late to do anything about immediately, but they will do they're best to lose in a dignified manner/rout for the 4th test, i suggest you lot stop bullying us and do your duty. Don't make me say this again, please. P.S. It's been agreed that in light of the previous debacles, only a win by an innings and 630 runs will do, so kindly tell sachin tendulkar to stop ******* around, it's not big and it's not funny.

Posted

I've haven't met many English fans who aren't pessimistic. 1997 Ashes test at Edgbaston Australia bowled out for 100 odd Hussain scores 207 and England make more than 450 My English mate gives England a "5-10%" chance of winning the game at that stage. :cantstop:

Posted
Now why can't we have more Brit fans like you on ICF??? :hysterical:
I think the Brit fans out here have been pretty good. They don't abuse anyone and are enjoying their team's success which they should. They are rubbing it in and we would have done the exact same thing if we had come out on top.
Posted
As an England cricket fan im extremely confused by recent events and wish to lodge my complaint. Mainly that recent events are totally out of character for English sporting teams. I have been brought up well on a diet of pessimism and gleeful 'tutting' when England fails, as such i have come to enjoy it in a slightly masochistic way. It is perhaps the main (and until now only) joy of a sports fan from these shores, that we get to build our players up to then tear them down when they fail 'gloriously'. Indeed the 2003 Rugby world cup win was such a confusing time for the nation that since then our rugby boys have tried really, really, hard to be as **** as possible, even losing to ****** Wales recently! (maybe taking it too far but points for commitment). India...who the hell do you think you are to deny me that pessimism? **** you, and your ****** batting/bowling/fielding, that's our department, don't **** on another man's doorstep you party poopers'. We let you win all these years, (maybe it was guilt over the whole colonial thing, maybe it was that we sucked, who knows). but we adapted and thrived in our position of plucky underdog. But no, apparently this was too much to ask for, you couldn't let us just have this one little thing. So you had to give us the No.1 ranking and take our loser tag from us without even a 'by your leave.' Do you know how many **** cricketers/footballers we had to 'support' to get that tag? You think you can lose one series and just take it from us!? **** you India! No way! As such i've had a word with the lads, and they all agree they've been acting a bit silly, lost sight of the main goals, got carried away ect ect. Unfortunately its too late to do anything about immediately, but they will do they're best to lose in a dignified manner/rout for the 4th test, i suggest you lot stop bullying us and do your duty. Don't make me say this again, please. P.S. It's been agreed that in light of the previous debacles, only a win by an innings and 630 runs will do, so kindly tell sachin tendulkar to stop ******* around, it's not big and it's not funny.
Oh noooooooo! Dont you go dare blaming it all on us Mr Blighty. Who started it all I must ask? I am reminded of the utmost shock I experienced a couple of years back when Great Britain won 19 Olympic Gold medals with a totals tally of close to 50 medals in Beijing 2008! That was almost as much as you folks won in the previous 2 olympics combined and better than any in 100 years or so. In the good old days while you used to get your a$s (or as you Brits call it aas) whooped by lowlies like Italy now suddenly you were beating Germany and Australia! Imagine that both Winston Churchill and Ian Botham would be happy. As the Brits smashed records in that Olympics, I fell off the bed and smashed my nuts. Now did I go blaming the Brits? No Sir. I was happy India has kept its record intact and went home with mammoth 3 medals! xxx
Posted
Oh noooooooo! Dont you go dare blaming it all on us Mr Blighty. Who started it all I must ask? I am reminded of the utmost shock I experienced a couple of years back when Great Britain won 19 Olympic Gold medals with a totals tally of close to 50 medals in Beijing 2008! That was almost as much as you folks won in the previous 2 olympics combined and better than any in 100 years or so. In the good old days while you used to get your a (or as you Brits call it aas) whooped by lowlies like Italy now suddenly you were beating Germany and Australia! Imagine that both Winston Churchill and Ian Botham would be happy. As the Brits smashed records in that Olympics, I fell off the bed and smashed my nuts. Now did I go blaming the Brits? No Sir. I was happy India has kept its record intact and went home with mammoth 3 medals! xxx
Yeah but that was the Olympics, who the hell cares!? Even the Greeks thought it was pants and got rid of it for a few hundred years. Its like an over-hyped school sports day, except most of the events are even more boring the the ******* discus! Also i think taking responsibility for any and all wrongs in the world is pretty much what Britain is for on the international stage. Now days the Americans are trying to p**s everyone off, but we did that before it was cool! Bunch of posers. Hell, we got rid of the empire 60 odd years ago, and the world is STILL ****** up as a result! That's what you call a good job! I know most Indians get on all-right with us now, but that's only because we told you about Cricket in the hope that Gandhi would stop pestering us. hopefully everyone else knows the score though, because frankly this whole blaming America thing instead of us is starting to feel like plagiarism, they wouldn't even be there if it wasn't for us! WTF! We do not get the hatred we deserve for that! So feel free to blame us for your squashed balls, i hope it hurt!:finger: ....Anyway what was this about originally? Oh yeah, *** the Olympics!!
Posted
Yeah but that was the Olympics, who the hell cares!? Even the Greeks thought it was pants and got rid of it for a few hundred years. Its like an over-hyped school sports day, except most of the events are even more boring the the ******* discus! Also i think taking responsibility for any and all wrongs in the world is pretty much what Britain is for on the international stage. Now days the Americans are trying to p**s everyone off, but we did that before it was cool! Bunch of posers. Hell, we got rid of the empire 60 odd years ago, and the world is STILL ****** up as a result! That's what you call a good job! I know most Indians get on all-right with us now, but that's only because we told you about Cricket in the hope that Gandhi would stop pestering us. hopefully everyone else knows the score though, because frankly this whole blaming America thing instead of us is starting to feel like plagiarism, they wouldn't even be there if it wasn't for us! WTF! We do not get the hatred we deserve for that! So feel free to blame us for your squashed balls, i hope it hurt!:finger: ....Anyway what was this about originally? Oh yeah, *** the Olympics!!
**** the Olympics? Here we have created this whole IPL thing in the hope cricket would become an Olympic game and I can finally get to see 4 medals for India, an additional bronze in cricket. Hopefully we can then bestow another 3 temples for cricketers and 10 more years to SRT's career. **** Olympics??? **** you man! I also disagree with you on the notion that Brits ****ed the world. Dont forget you came to India for cardamom and other spices. It was a Mallu wearing a lungi who actually mesmerized the entire continent of yours. Credit should go to him surely. And just between me, you and bits and bites of Internet we are on it again, how else do you explain chicken tikka? Had it not been for Duncan Fletcher we had Freddie so addicted to chicken tikka takeouts Rantanunga was asking him tips to bulk up in off season.
Posted
As an England cricket fan im extremely confused by recent events and wish to lodge my complaint. Mainly that recent events are totally out of character for English sporting teams. I have been brought up well on a diet of pessimism and gleeful 'tutting' when England fails, as such i have come to enjoy it in a slightly masochistic way. It is perhaps the main (and until now only) joy of a sports fan from these shores, that we get to build our players up to then tear them down when they fail 'gloriously'. Indeed the 2003 Rugby world cup win was such a confusing time for the nation that since then our rugby boys have tried really, really, hard to be as **** as possible, even losing to ****** Wales recently! (maybe taking it too far but points for commitment). India...who the hell do you think you are to deny me that pessimism? **** you, and your ****** batting/bowling/fielding, that's our department, don't **** on another man's doorstep you party poopers'. We let you win all these years, (maybe it was guilt over the whole colonial thing, maybe it was that we sucked, who knows). but we adapted and thrived in our position of plucky underdog. But no, apparently this was too much to ask for, you couldn't let us just have this one little thing. So you had to give us the No.1 ranking and take our loser tag from us without even a 'by your leave.' Do you know how many **** cricketers/footballers we had to 'support' to get that tag? You think you can lose one series and just take it from us!? **** you India! No way! As such i've had a word with the lads, and they all agree they've been acting a bit silly, lost sight of the main goals, got carried away ect ect. Unfortunately its too late to do anything about immediately, but they will do they're best to lose in a dignified manner/rout for the 4th test, i suggest you lot stop bullying us and do your duty. Don't make me say this again, please. P.S. It's been agreed that in light of the previous debacles, only a win by an innings and 630 runs will do, so kindly tell sachin tendulkar to stop ******* around, it's not big and it's not funny.
Dude this is just a bad dream you are having. Pinch yourself and wake up, you will be back to your losing ways.:winky:
Posted
Dude this is just a bad dream you are having. Pinch yourself and wake up' date=' you will be back to your losing ways.:winky:[/quote'] It's not working, going to take some Class A drugs till i start seeing Monty Panesar bowling, that'll sort it. :potstir:
Posted
It's not working' date=' going to take some Class A drugs till i start seeing Monty Panesar bowling, that'll sort it. :potstir:[/quote'] im sure the appointment and failure of ravi must hve brought a tear of joy to ur eyes?!
Posted
Oh noooooooo! Dont you go dare blaming it all on us Mr Blighty. Who started it all I must ask? I am reminded of the utmost shock I experienced a couple of years back when Great Britain won 19 Olympic Gold medals with a totals tally of close to 50 medals in Beijing 2008! That was almost as much as you folks won in the previous 2 olympics combined and better than any in 100 years or so. In the good old days while you used to get your a (or as you Brits call it aas) whooped by lowlies like Italy now suddenly you were beating Germany and Australia! Imagine that both Winston Churchill and Ian Botham would be happy. As the Brits smashed records in that Olympics, I fell off the bed and smashed my nuts. Now did I go blaming the Brits? No Sir. I was happy India has kept its record intact and went home with mammoth 3 medals! xxx
It's worth remembering that, in the all-time scheme of things, GB has won the 4th most Olympic medals, behind USA, Russia and Germany (including the old GDR) :hatsoff:

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