Gaurav Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 For your kind information many in the Western world take dowry too. I have seen Gujrati peeps who have lived here take dowry(happened in Houston). So what are you on about Indian men? Gujarati not Indian any more? :hysterical: Okay so lets get to the bottom of this now. How many Indians you know, and I am sure you must know atleast a few dozens, have actually done that - torture their daughter in law for dowry pre or post marriage. Go on give me some personal experience. Put up or shut up.I know atleast 4 families who actually beat up their daughter in law for the sake of dowry money. My friend's sister was getting beaten up by her husband and mother in law. Witnessed the aftermath first hand. I guess it's time for you to shut up!:haha: Have you heard the term Father of the Bride? ANd have you heard that he pays for the marriage? If it did not happen in your circle good for you I say, but do you deny that it exists/happens?You are a master of smoke screen tactics. I was critical of Indian dowry system....instead of discussing that you are bringing west ki marriage into it? Do daughter in laws get tortured for dowry in the west? We are talking about the mutated Indian dowry system. In Europe DEMANDED dowry is unheard of these days! I am talking about locals and not western desis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theguyinallblue Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 ask DadaRocks..how much he got in return..?:wink_smile: dowry is very much prevalent in Bihar...now a days..some educated and kind hearted men are against dowry..and do not demand any thing... but its a menace..which can not be eradicated easily... if a mother has a girl and a boy....she would have no problems in giving dowry..as she would recover it with her son's marriage... i have seen women talking on these terms... many guys are not that greedy ...they settle for something after some bargaining...i have been to 2-3 such bargaining situations... but an other category of men are those who have no self respect..and demand such and such amount...and if they do not get the money..they torture the bride mentally and physically... and since a girls's future is attached to her husband..not much can be done in this regard..not unless...pani sar se upar na chala jaaye... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Another reason Apo is that most people do not consider daughters as their heirs...Dowry is considered the girls legitimate share in the property ....like a one time lumpsum payment .People don't want to divide the property between their sons and daughters as they think the property given to the daughter goes out side the joint family.You will be surprised how this argument is often given in support of dowry.How often do we hear...joh bhi denge ...apni beti ko hi to denge. The only solution is to make women equal partners in ancestral property ....which will legally belong only to her and her immediate family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurker Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Gujarati not Indian any more? :hysterical: Yeah sure they are American-Gujrati-Indians. Keep adding to that 'ians. :tounge_smile: I know atleast 4 families who actually beat up their daughter in law for the sake of dowry money. My friend's sister was getting beaten up by her husband and mother in law. Witnessed the aftermath first hand. I guess it's time for you to shut up!:haha: Maybe its time for you to start kicking around your friend, if you are being honest about it of course. I for one have not seen it, and would be intersted in seeing how many people have actually seen this happening. You are a master of smoke screen tactics. I was critical of Indian dowry system....instead of discussing that you are bringing west ki marriage into it? Because it works like that in the West. If Father of bride pays to get their daughters married, be it India or West, its dowry plain and simple. Do daughter in laws get tortured for dowry in the west? We are talking about the mutated Indian dowry system. In Europe DEMANDED dowry is unheard of these days! I am talking about locals and not western desis. Did I ever mention torture in Western concept? Point me towards that thread Please? I have limited myself to dowry aspect. It is inherently deeper rooted in India than West but there are Western practices that could be attributed to something similar. As for torture it is always an unfortunate situation wherever it may happen. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Lurker ...I wish India was actually the India that you think it is.A dowry less...casteless India. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apocalypse Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 very true. But one other reason is the show-off. People just try to showoff in the marriage how much they can give. Its more like inviting an animal to taste human blood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurker Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 .How often do we hear...joh bhi denge ...apni beti ko hi to denge. Yes I have heard that statement before. A groom's parent wont ask anything from father of the bride but would follow it with a "Aap apni beti ko jo dena hai de dijiye". Oddest thing is Father of Groom would pride in "Humne kuch nahin liya" even though he would have received a bunch of things. :confused_smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 woh jo kuch nahi beti ko diya...woh he dowry hai lurker....:giggle: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Outsider Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 From my experience and reading stuff I can safely say that dowry in North India(UP, Punjab, Harayana, Rajasthan) very much exists. Himachal Pradesh and Uttaranchal are the honourable exceptions I have noticed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Outsider Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Oddest thing is Father of Groom would pride in "Humne kuch nahin liya" even though he would have received a bunch of things. And why won't you classify these "bunch of things" as dowry? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kumble_rocks Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Women's rights are still absent by and large in rural India. If Islam gets so much flak for it's abysmal record in terms of protecting women's right, shouldn't Hinduism be also held accountable for it's failure to protect women's rights begs the question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 dowry is/was a way of doing some advance wealth distribution for the gal by her parents. typically in hindu families, property is inherited by the sons. this was one way of giving the girl her share. this is the story i have heard. of course like anything, it has taken it's own ugly form. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 It has started in Uttranchal too swetabh...although not to such an extent.A lot of uttaranchalis live in delhi and near by areas....and when they go home they also expect(not all).My father had gone to our ancestral village really high up in uttranchal and he was mentioning that people now expect the customary ....bed .sofa etc even if they don't have room for it .the bigger the better.He mentioned that he actaully saw a house where the furniture was lying outside because it couldn't go inside the door....:giggle:Some of the blame also goes to the girl's family also who want to show off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kumble_rocks Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 dowry is/was a way of doing some advance wealth distribution for the gal by her parents. typically in hindu families' date=' property is inherited by the sons. this was one way of giving the girl her share. this is the story i have heard. of course like anything, it has taken it's own ugly form.[/quote'] Believe me , Islamists also provide their own spin for every draconian Sharia law including beekeeper dress . I would definitely take some of these justification with a pinch of salt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kumble_rocks Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 I don't know about Kerala or Tamil Nadu , but dowry is prevalent in certain communities in Andhra and Karnataka. I know Reddy's , Kamas(AP) , Gowdas,Lingayats(Karanataka) etc take dowry on a case by case basis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Women's rights are still absent by and large in rural India. If Islam gets so much flak for it's abysmal record in terms of protecting women's right' date=' shouldn't Hinduism be also held accountable for it's failure to protect women's rights begs the question.[/quote'] Manu in my opinion was an impotent MCP... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dada_rocks Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Problem wiht insisting unless u have personal expereince sthg doesn't exist is the fact that it's wide world and not every single person will have personal expereinces of all hues.. In nutshel presence of absence of anecodtal evidence neither proves or disproves anything as far as statistics are concerned. Having said that dowry does exist. A poor girl from my village was burnt alive in her in-laws place. His husband himself tied her hands with thin iron-ropes and set fire to his village running around asking for help that his wife is stuck inside. People found she was duely roped so that she could not escape. But then again it's not as prevalent as it made out to be. Yes dowry demand is prevalent in fact in Bihar it has turned into status symbol. Kisko kitana mila.. So much so that people even lie and exaggerate the amount they are getting:haha:.. Soln of all this is women's empowerment. See recently Nitish Kumar has employe around 200000 teachers and majority of them are girls. It so happens all the awaara good for nothing idiots are running from piller to post with reverse-dowry offer for getting married to these girls.. Meri bibi mujhe bhaga deti agar dowry ka naam leta to. That's the down side of getting married to these career-oriented independent girls.:haha: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dada_rocks Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Women's rights are still absent by and large in rural India. If Islam gets so much flak for it's abysmal record in terms of protecting women's right' date=' shouldn't Hinduism be also held accountable for it's failure to protect women's rights begs the question.[/quote'] Problme with that argument is no Hindu will protest if u change the law to make it more euitable. In fact these laws are already in place. Bbut try bringing same change in muslim personal law and see how far u get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dada_rocks Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 I don't know about Kerala or Tamil Nadu ' date=' but dowry is prevalent in certain communities in Andhra and Karnataka. I know Reddy's , Kamas(AP) , Gowdas,Lingayats(Karanataka) etc take dowry on a case by case basis.[/quote'] Andhra is most notorious in terms of dowry so i am told by my andhra-friend.. He has a sister and is looking for a software profession some engineer and he says he will end up paying anything between 25 to 50 lakh.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ram Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Andhra is most notorious in terms of dowry so i am told by my andhra-friend.. He has a sister and is looking for a software profession some engineer and he says he will end up paying anything between 25 to 50 lakh.... Actually quite true. They also jokingly mention that as your qualifications go up , the dowry amount goes up too. So , a masters student residing in the US , can demanfd upto 1 crore it seems. When i first came here , they used to call a guy " one crore" .. I didnt realiz the meaning of that first. Was later told that was the dowry amount his parents were demanding ! :haha: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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