someone Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Well, another thread has made me raise this question. I do believe firstly, we should not judge a parents based on them hitting the children, as it could be because the child himself was behaving naughty. You do not simply become a bad parent if you just hit a child. Then also, hitting child can teach them discipline and respect of the elders. Your thoughts?
Precambrian Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Yes, but only below the knees and below the elbows...
Stuge Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Yes' date=' but only below the knees and below the elbows...[/quote'] :hmmm:
beetle Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Hitting children was a valid option when we were kids.There weren't too many things around that could be taken away as punishment I was a class one rascal and my mom used the belan and chimta on me regularly.My father usually only hit me on an average once in two years.Kept me straight for a long time. i do not grudge them the hitting or punishments ever.I don't think they ever enjoyed doing so.I feared my mom's guilt ridden post hitting melodrama more than the actual hitting.I was bad and I am sure if they didn't punish me I would be missing an eye or a limb today. Is hitting required today?Difficult one to answer. Holding them firmly and staring ,warning with a firm voice works better.Hitting them is more a reaction of the parents often in frustration.Hitting to prevent them from causing harm to themselves or others is ok in my book but hitting as punishment is not.It doesn't work in the long run.Besides the guilt often makes people spoil them more. I prefer taking away TV privileges.....no goodies .Rewarding good behavior works too but if done very often it results in it becoming a precondition for good behavior.It is a fine balance and depends on how smart your little devil is. My little one learn t to bite and refused to give it up. One day when she bit me I just sat on her....That shocked her and she has never done it again.I wonder if that is abuse...
Lord Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Hitting children was a valid option when we were kids.There weren't too many things around that could be taken away as punishment I was a class one rascal and my mom used the belan and chimta on me regularly.My father usually only hit me on an average once in two years.Kept me straight for a long time. i do not grudge them the hitting or punishments ever.I don't think they ever enjoyed doing so.I feared my mom's guilt ridden post hitting melodrama more than the actual hitting.I was bad and I am sure if they didn't punish me I would be missing an eye or a limb today. Is hitting required today?Difficult one to answer. Holding them firmly and staring ,warning with a firm voice works better.Hitting them is more a reaction of the parents often in frustration.Hitting to prevent them from causing harm to themselves or others is ok in my book but hitting as punishment is not.It doesn't work in the long run.Besides the guilt often makes people spoil them more. I prefer taking away TV privileges.....no goodies .Rewarding good behavior works too but if done very often it results in it becoming a precondition for good behavior.It is a fine balance and depends on how smart your little devil is. My little one learn t to bite and refused to give it up. One day when she bit me I just sat on her....That shocked her and she has never done it again.I wonder if that is abuse... :omg: how old is she?
beetle Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 :omg: how old is she? Don't worry...wasn't as bad as it looks......:--D
beetle Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 The best threat I heard from a mom to her almost teenage son running late for school as his mom was trying to stuff food in him...... phir se late hua to class mein aakar,paas bitha ke parantha kilaungi.
bulbul Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Its ok in most cases where parents mostly do if or love fo child rather tahn in abusive matter.. Some cases like alcoholic parents it will get worse...but majority its f...its not like they hit every day non stop
beetle Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I think parents of older kids should use the threat of embarrassment as punishment. mom.....shut the computer or I will go out in your sister's miniskirt. dad...Go study or I will wear my pants below the hips like you.
bangladeshifan Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 its like anti biotic. if u take it regular ur body will get used to it and wont work later asking for a stronger dose. if u beat ur kids regularly then they will get used to it nd once it happens its really hard to control em. sometimes beating is necessary. but u have to be very careful wen it comes to nurture ur children. sometimes a stare is enough so no point hitting them then. if u do u might regret it later. just my two cents
Lord Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I think parents of older kids should use the threat of embarrassment as punishment. mom.....shut the computer or I will go out in your sister's miniskirt. dad...Go study or I will wear my pants below the hips like you. LOL but then there is the chance of children not listening,will they go ahead with the threat?:haha:
beetle Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 LOL but then there is the chance of children not listening,will they go ahead with the threat?:haha: I would ....:--D
bangladeshifan Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I think parents of older kids should use the threat of embarrassment as punishment. mom.....shut the computer or I will go out in your sister's miniskirt. dad...Go study or I will wear my pants below the hips like you. that can create negativity for u in ur children's mind. if u force them to study all year round they will be bored. just press them wen its necessary like wen exam is coming. it also depends on ur children's ability. some kids study 1 or 2 hrs in a day nd thats enuff for them. sum kids need to study a lot bcs maybe they r not that sharp. just like u need to asses the pitch before get going to be a good batsman same way u need to asses ur children's ability nd mentality to be a good parent. u r forcing ur child not to spend much time in computer but may be he or she can have a bright future in it. just imagine tendulkar's parents forcing him to concentrate on study than playing around
beetle Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 that can create negativity for u in ur children's mind. if u force them to study all year round they will be bored. just press them wen its necessary like wen exam is coming. it also depends on ur children's ability. some kids study 1 or 2 hrs in a day nd thats enuff for them. sum kids need to study a lot bcs maybe they r not that sharp. just like u need to asses the pitch before get going to be a good batsman same way u need to asses ur children's ability nd mentality to be a good parent. u r forcing ur child not to spend much time in computer but may be he or she can have a bright future in it. just imagine tendulkar's parents forcing him to concentrate on study than playing around :dontknow:badne ko bol bhi nahin sakte?
Lord Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 my parents used positive motivation promising me to buy new video game or something like that if I came 1st/2nd in class.worked like a charm
Stuge Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Don't worry...wasn't as bad as it looks......:--D OME .. you sat on her :P above statement can be used against you :P:hysterical::hysterical:
bangladeshifan Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 :dontknow:badne ko bol bhi nahin sakte? there is different between just saying and threatening them with weird stuff which is mentally abusing to an extent. like i said u need to asses the situation, necessity of putting pressure on em, the amount of pressure u shud put on em, understand their mentality etc etc. its not possible al the time but again ur child if u dont understand them its ur failure
beetle Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 there is different between just saying and threatening them with weird stuff which is mentally abusing to an extent. like i said u need to asses the situation' date=' necessity of putting pressure on em, the amount of pressure u shud put on em, understand their mentality etc etc. its not possible al the time but again ur child if u dont understand them its ur failure[/quote'] Ok Bfan.....i will not wear my pants below my hips but I would like to wear the mini skirt.....
bangladeshifan Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 my parents used positive motivation promising me to buy new video game or something like that if I came 1st/2nd in class.worked like a charm thats really a nice idea. its better using positive inspiration then threatening wiv negative staffs. make em feel like if u dont do it then its ur loss. give em challenges nd encourage em to achieve it which will also help em in future wen they will be facing tougher challenges from outside world
beetle Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 OME .. you sat on her :P above statement can be used against you :P:hysterical::hysterical: But it works...she refuses to sit in one place in movie hall.....then I say...are you sitting on my lap or am I sitting on your lap ?She sits down in her seat....
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