Pakistani cricket heading for greatness: Former Cricketers

[Bumper]

GAWN news reports: Pak cricket heading for greatness observe ex-cricketers. In a startling revelation, Pakistan's ex-cricketers were unanimous in declaring Pakistan as the next powerhouse in cricket. Coming on the back of a 90 run cop out against a Lankan B-team, this may sound a bit delusional for the rest of the world, but such proclamations are justified insist Pakistan's former cricketers. Former wicket keeper Rashid Latif who contributed a vital boundary in a total of 59 back in 2002 vs Australia, spoke from experience. "When you are bowled out for 90, its easy to lose heart. In the short term, our team will continue to suffer from minor problems. I am not denying that. But over the next 200 years, Pakistani cricket should flourish, I have no doubt about that. Ofcourse, that presumes Baitaullah Mehsud would be kind enough to let us have a nation till then, but its all possible inshallah!". Wasim Akram saw several positives in Pakistani cricket. "We've rolled out 38 openers since year 2000. This is the highest number of openers ever fielded by any team in a nine year window. Such is our rich talent pool. Our bench strength is amazing. Tell me which team has the likes of Akhtar and Asif on the bench ? And then we have the likes of Shahid Afridi coming out of retirement, Pakistani cricket is spoilt for choice, I say". Abdul Qadir, former spinner and selector sounded a bit more strategic. "When you change openers frequently you tend to lose track of the player's name, form, fitness etc. This has been our main problem in the past. When Bob Chacha coached our team, he sent 4 openers to open the innings. He simply had no idea who would succeed and had no confidence that two of his openers will make it till the pitch. Such defensive tactis sends the wrong signals to the opponents". "So when i was at the helm, this is the first thing I looked to fix. With the help of our leading scientists we have put together a new jukebox technology. All openers will be entered into a lotter system with their fitness data keyed in. The system would pick the two best openers for the game". Qadir admits that the technology is far from perfect and is still a work in progress. Apparently due to a bug in the system, it had picked Mohsin Khan and Muddassar Nazar for Sunday's game against the Lankans. Inzamam-ul-Haq too though was a bit skeptical. "Bismillah, rehman-ur-rahim. Thank is you Allah. I created grat Pakistan team, it not possible to keep team that high. Younis do good to keep team high enough. Moyo must grow bigger beard", observed Inzy. Despite this new found optimism, Pakistani selectors and its players have their task cut out against the Lankans. They have to score at least 87 in the 2nd innings to avoid being outscored by a single opponent player (Sangakkara's 87) in one innings. Younis Khan sounded confident that his team is up for the challenge. "We cannot keep looking at the pasht. It has been 6 yearsh since Hayden's 119 outscored our 59 and 53. Boysh ish in good fitnessh & form. Only problem ish the abshenche of Murali. But we should still feasht on Tushara and Mendis poor boysh. Getting to 87 ish not a problem". Regardless, the upcoming days promise to offer one of the most interesting episodes of test cricket In other news covering Pakistani cricket: Pak-ICC worldcup 2011 lawsuit: Preliminary hearing to be moved to Dubai Pakistani supreme court has postponed the hearing after a bomb went off wounding the judge and the public prosecutor. The judge has called for the hearing to be moved to Dubai. Ten Sports sues PCB for loss in revenue Among other things Ten sports is suing PCB for violation of contractual agreement (all 5 day test matches reduced to 3 day finishes), not having enough tape for highlight reels, tosses taking longer than an innings and constantly confusing commentators by sending different openers. Akhtar to promote Vagisil Having lost his place in the side, Akhtar finally turned to his advertising career. -

[Desi Cartman]

Pak-ICC worldcup 2011 lawsuit: Preliminary hearing to be moved to Dubai Pakistani supreme court has postponed the hearing after a bomb went off wounding the judge and the public prosecutor. The judge has called for the hearing to be moved to Dubai.

Was this BCCI-RAW-MOSSAD sponsored as well ?

[DomainK]

Was this BCCI-RAW-MOSSAD sponsored as well ?

Any doubts?

[Dhondy]

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Yeah baby, he's back! Quality read, Bumps. Immaculately constructed.

[Sachinism]

LOL Quality post Bumper. The worrying thing is that all that could so easily be real :|

[Anakin]

:hysterical:

[Dhondy]

Absolute masterpiece, Bumps. Read it again, and every paragraph is a treasure. It's hilarity stems from its uncomfortably close flirtations with the truth. Genius. The tragedy, Bumps, is that this drama has been played out many, many, many times before. A tale of indiscipline, intrigue, backstabbing, incompetence, the blame game. And every time it's been swept under the carpet by an isolated win, the odd Karachi or a day like the one they had at Columbo, only to start all over again as the old order is swept away by a new captain, a new coach, a new board chief. The cycle repeats, until everything unravels yet once again. Joy-despair- self denial-ecstacy- triumphalism. Can we, as spectators, remain on the sidelines and keep our counsel at this circus? Heck, we don't even spare our own team, which has been exponentially more successful than theirs in recent times. It's like watching somebody go down Niagara in a barrel, teeter at the edge, be pushed back by a freak tsunami, and then be hailed as a trendsetter. Absolute madness.

[Dravid]

rofl :haha:

[Shehezaada]

GAWN news reports: Pak cricket heading for greatness observe ex-cricketers. In a startling revelation, Pakistan's ex-cricketers were unanimous in declaring Pakistan as the next powerhouse in cricket. Coming on the back of a 90 run cop out against a Lankan B-team, this may sound a bit delusional for the rest of the world, but such proclamations are justified insist Pakistan's former cricketers. Former wicket keeper Rashid Latif who contributed a vital boundary in a total of 59 back in 2002 vs Australia, spoke from experience. "When you are bowled out for 90, its easy to lose heart. In the short term, our team will continue to suffer from minor problems. I am not denying that. But over the next 200 years, Pakistani cricket should flourish, I have no doubt about that. Ofcourse, that presumes Baitaullah Mehsud would be kind enough to let us have a nation till then, but its all possible inshallah!". Wasim Akram saw several positives in Pakistani cricket. "We've rolled out 38 openers since year 2000. This is the highest number of openers ever fielded by any team in a nine year window. Such is our rich talent pool. Our bench strength is amazing. Tell me which team has the likes of Akhtar and Asif on the bench ? And then we have the likes of Shahid Afridi coming out of retirement, Pakistani cricket is spoilt for choice, I say". Abdul Qadir, former spinner and selector sounded a bit more strategic. "When you change openers frequently you tend to lose track of the player's name, form, fitness etc. This has been our main problem in the past. When Bob Chacha coached our team, he sent 4 openers to open the innings. He simply had no idea who would succeed and had no confidence that two of his openers will make it till the pitch. Such defensive tactis sends the wrong signals to the opponents". "So when i was at the helm, this is the first thing I looked to fix. With the help of our leading scientists we have put together a new jukebox technology. All openers will be entered into a lotter system with their fitness data keyed in. The system would pick the two best openers for the game". Qadir admits that the technology is far from perfect and is still a work in progress. Apparently due to a bug in the system, it had picked Mohsin Khan and Muddassar Nazar for Sunday's game against the Lankans. Inzamam-ul-Haq too though was a bit skeptical. "Bismillah, rehman-ur-rahim. Thank is you Allah. I created grat Pakistan team, it not possible to keep team that high. Younis do good to keep team high enough. Moyo must grow bigger beard", observed Inzy. Despite this new found optimism, Pakistani selectors and its players have their task cut out against the Lankans. They have to score at least 87 in the 2nd innings to avoid being outscored by a single opponent player (Sangakkara's 87) in one innings. Younis Khan sounded confident that his team is up for the challenge. "We cannot keep looking at the pasht. It has been 6 yearsh since Hayden's 119 outscored our 59 and 53. Boysh ish in good fitnessh & form. Only problem ish the abshenche of Murali. But we should still feasht on Tushara and Mendis poor boysh. Getting to 87 ish not a problem". Regardless, the upcoming days promise to offer one of the most interesting episodes of test cricket In other news covering Pakistani cricket: Pak-ICC worldcup 2011 lawsuit: Preliminary hearing to be moved to Dubai Pakistani supreme court has postponed the hearing after a bomb went off wounding the judge and the public prosecutor. The judge has called for the hearing to be moved to Dubai. Ten Sports sues PCB for loss in revenue Among other things Ten sports is suing PCB for violation of contractual agreement (all 5 day test matches reduced to 3 day finishes), not having enough tape for highlight reels, tosses taking longer than an innings and constantly confusing commentators by sending different openers. Akhtar to promote Vagisil Having lost his place in the side, Akhtar finally turned to his advertising career. -

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: especially the bug in the system LOL nomination for the humous hall of fame

[Macj]

Bumper I only say this to challenge you to challenge yourself to do even better: This was a nice piece but the one you wrote before it was a colossal. Keep up the good reporting of the poyzz.:two_thumbs_up::two_thumbs_up:

[riya]

I thought this is some original news before reading,now this is pure gold :haha::haha::haha::haha::haha:

[Dark Warrior]

Hilarious Post, bumper :hysterical:

[Gambit]

Former wicket keeper Rashid Latif who contributed a vital boundary in a total of 59 back in 2002 vs Australia, spoke from experience.

This is the best! :hysterical: :hysterical:

[Lord]

:hysterical::hysterical:

[Cricketics]

That Rashid latif boundary quote was classic.. Fantastic post Bumper.

[spectre]

Excellent! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[sangrock]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Malcolm Merlyn]

bumper i wuld have given u 100mllion icf $.......sorry dont have that much................great post....:two_thumbs_up:

[h4te]

thanks for stomach pain from laughing, Bumper :(( :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[rahuliverpool]

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Amazing thread, Bumper!