Desi Cartman Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML :giggle:
Sachinism Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 ^^ Why was the babysitter sitting with a naked child :hmmm:
Desi Cartman Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 ^^ Why was the babysitter sitting with a naked child :hmmm: :dontknow: but its still :cantstop: anyway Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML :WTF:
Desi Cartman Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML :hysterical:
flamy Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 ^^ :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Sachinism Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 ^^ No its not, I sometimes read it at work, there still are some really funny ones
Desi Cartman Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 ^^ No its not' date=' I sometimes read it at work, there still are some really funny ones[/quote'] Please share the phunny ones here
Sachinism Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Please share the phunny ones here next time I go on it can't be bothered to find the thread when I'm reading it
Desi Cartman Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 next time I go on it can't be bothered to find the thread when I'm reading it subscribe :mad:
DomainK Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 ^^ No its not' date=' I sometimes read it at work, there still are some really funny ones[/quote'] Well, I read it too. But I think there were more funny ones in number than there were before. BTW these text-heavy sites are great for mobile surfing. When I have time, I usually open them on my cell and read them. And there are quite a lot of such sites these days: FML, my life is desi, my life is average, it made my day, gives me hope and there are many more enjoyable sites.
Sachinism Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML Today, I helped my little sister sell chocolate bars for her school. We went up to this one house and rang the door bell, a man wearing a robe answers the door and was going to buy one. He went to get the money and left the door open, then we saw our happily married mother in the kitchen naked. FML Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible *****." FML Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she carved her old boyfriends name in her arm and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
flamy Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
littlemaster1982 Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Guest Gunner Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Today, I was playing wii golf with my family. We were taking to long so my brother says "Wow, I would already be done right now." My mom replied with "Yeah, the girls say that's your problem." It took him five minutes to reply. Highlight of my day. MLIA THIS is PWNAGE!!!
flamy Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Today, I was playing wii golf with my family. We were taking to long so my brother says "Wow, I would already be done right now." My mom replied with "Yeah, the girls say that's your problem." It took him five minutes to reply. Highlight of my day. MLIA :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: wtF would you say to your mom :cantstop:
Guest Gunner Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: wtF would you say to your mom :cantstop: Exactly what I was thinking. Mom just delivered epic pwnage. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
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