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Don Sharma

By Don Sharma
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Don Sharma Newbie

Don Sharma

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One morning at a doctor's surgery a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?" The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club. This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, that's how I strained my back" . The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What the hell happened to you?" He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now. Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge." The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two Patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened to youuuuuu.... .?" "Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"
A farmer rears twenty-five young hens and one old c0ck. As he feels that the old c0ck could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one Young c0ck from the market. Old c0ck to Young c0ck: "Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity. Young c0ck: What ya mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired. Old c0ck: Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help you with some? Young c0ck: No! Not even one, all of them will be mine. Old c0ck: In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win you shall allow me to have one hen and if I loose you will have all. Young c0ck: O.K. What kind of competition? Old c0ck: 50 meter run. >From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters. Young c0ck: No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning. Confidently, the following morning, the Young c0ck allows the Old c0ck to start off and when the Old c0ck crosses the 10 meters mark the Young c0ck chases him with all his might. Soon enough, he was behind the Old c0ck back in a matter of seconds. Suddenly, Bang! ..... Before he could overtake the old c0ck he was shot dead by the farmer, who cursed, "What the hell ! This is the fifth GAY Chicken I've bought this week !"
A woman was having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "$250" In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy - "Dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball glove." The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?" Boy - "$750" Man - "Fine." A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" Boy - "$1,000" The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that shyte again...."
:cantstop:
Don Sharma Newbie

Don Sharma

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:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: We want some more Mr.Don!
:icflove:
One day, Pete complained to his friend,"My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you wha t you can do about it. It only costs $10.00." Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposi ted the $10.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper, which read: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in t wo weeks. That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to! wonder if this could be fooled. H e decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water,a stool sample from his dog,and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he mas******ed into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights,and printed out the following analysis: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter is gettin' screwed by three guys at the same time and having urinary infection. Put her on antibiotic and keep a track of her outings. 4. Your wife is pregnant . . twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. And bastard,....... if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better !!!!!!!
As daily habit Pintu was reading newspaper.Suddenly he asked his father, " Dad! What does it mean by 'Governance System' ? " " Its Like...", father said while thinking, " See! I earn and bring money to home, means I am a 'Money Holder'. Your mother decides where and how to spend that money and that means she is 'Government'. That maid in our home is doing all the household works, so she will be 'Labour Class'. You are a 'Common man' or 'Public'. Your kid brother is 'Future' or the 'Next Generation', understand?". That day Pintu slept with all those thoughts. In the middle of the night he woke-up because his kid brother was crying. He wetted the matrices so he was crying. Pintu went to wake-up his mother. She was in deep sleep so Pintu went to the Maiden's room to wake her up. But there his father was sleeping. So he came back with frustration. Next morning father asked Pintu, " Hey Pintu Darling! You understood the 'Governance System'? ". Pintu replied, " Yeah Dad, I understood! When money Holder is exploiting Labour Class, our Government is sleeping. Future of our nation is crying for not getting their basic needs fulfilled and in all this Common Man is suffering !".
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?" HUSBAND: "Definitely not!" WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?" HUSBAND: "Of course I do." WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again." WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face). HUSBAND: (makes audible groan). WIFE: "Would you live in our house?" HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house." WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?" WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?" HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new." WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?" HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do." WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?" HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed. " WIFE: - - -silence - - HUSBAND: "oh ****!!!!"
Men vs women 1. NAMES If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. 2. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 , even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. 3. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale. 4. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. 5. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument. 6.CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. 7. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 8. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 9. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. 10. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. 11. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 12. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. 13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
:cantstop:
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