Sachinism Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Barely days after the match-fixing murmurs and the related Younis Khan resignation episode have died down, Pakistan cricket has once again been plunged into controversy, intrigue and scandal. This time it's keeper-batsman Kamran Akmal who is at the centre of the storm - a parliamentary commitee has been formed to conduct an enquiry into a poor square cut played by Akmal during the recently concluded Champions Trophy in South Africa. "The whole stroke was suspiciously lacking in technique. Kamran's weight was, rather dubiously, not completely transferred to the back foot, causing him to be completely off balance when playing the shot. Not only that, the ball was suspiciously close to his body, cramping him up and forcing him to make contact too high up on the blade. Such faulty technique from an experienced international batsman is definitely fishy - we are sure that bookies have played a role," thundered a senior parliamentarian, who will not be named since he is a senior parliamentarian. "Such a poorly executed cut shot is a betrayal of the faith shown by loyal cricket fans of Pakistan," he bellowed, before irrelevantly adding, "Hey! Did you know that if you turn Mohammad Yousuf's photo upside down, he looks like one of those Buckingham Palace guards? Hyok!" Kamral Akmal has refuted the allegations strongly. "This is nonsense. Are they saying bookies are paying players just to play bad shots? Then Ashish Nehra alone would cause economic upheaval in South-East Asia," he pointed out. Akmal also angrily resigned as captain of the Pakistan team. The board has rejected his resignation on the grounds that he wasn't captain in the first place. "Oh! Er, my bad," said a sheepish Akmal in response, admitting that he had got the idea from Younis Khan. Regarding the captaincy issue, the PCB has decided to stop their rather ad-hoc method of appointing captains, and have drawn up a long-term plan to demonstrate their vision for creating a smooth and sustainable leadership policy. According to the new plan, Younis Khan will remain captain until the World Cup in 2011. He will be arbitrarily sacked a few months later, and Shahid Afridi will be given the reins until 2012 (except for a brief one-month period when Imran Nazir will be skipper before being dropped altogether). In February 2012, half the team will be dropped and an unknown teenager will be made captain for eight months, after which Younis will be called upon to lead again. Meanwhile, across the border the BCCI has come up with a cunning plan to arrest team India's sliding fortunes in both Twenty20 and ODI formats. They have announced the world's first "twenty-fifty" tournament. Under the rules of the new format, christened T50 cricket, the Indian team will get to bat 50 overs, and the opposition will get to bat 20 overs. Field restrictions will also follow the same method, with 15 overs of Powerplay when the Indians bat, and six overs when the opposition does. "It's a brilliant, innovative, sly, cunning and totally evil plan to ensure India's dominance in world cricket," said a supremely smug-looking Lalit Modi, gradually allowing his adjectives to inch closer to the truth. "Besides, it will give Rahul Dravid and VVS Laxman one more limited-overs format to suck at," he quipped, deciding against making that joke on Twitter. In other news, Daren Ganga has denied that the Trinidad and Tobago team is sponsored by Venkatesh Prasad, Ross Taylor has denied that he was spotted playing an off-side shot, and Australia has ordered a parliamentary inquiry into the reasons why Moises Henriques has a completely needless "I" in the middle of a perfectly legitimate biblical name. http://www.cricinfo.com/page2/content/story/430852.html :haha::haha::haha::haha::haha: Link to comment
Guest Hiten. Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Kamral Akmal has refuted the allegations strongly. "This is nonsense. Are they saying bookies are paying players just to play bad shots? Then Ashish Nehra alone would cause economic upheaval in South-East Asia," he pointed out. Akmal also angrily resigned as captain of the Pakistan team. The board has rejected his resignation on the grounds that he wasn't captain in the first place. "Oh! Er, my bad," said a sheepish Akmal in response, admitting that he had got the idea from Younis Khan. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment
Params7 Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 LOL gotta love page2 :hysterical: Link to comment
Riley's Girl Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment
flamy Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 bahahahahhaha!!! :hysterical: Link to comment
Dinx - the Jinx Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 this is absolute fun... enjoyed reading it... good work man :adore: Link to comment
SachDan Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 hilarious :hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment
DomainK Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment
Guest Gunner Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 "The whole stroke was suspiciously lacking in technique. Kamran's weight was, rather dubiously, not completely transferred to the back foot, causing him to be completely off balance when playing the shot. Not only that, the ball was suspiciously close to his body, cramping him up and forcing him to make contact too high up on the blade. Such faulty technique from an experienced international batsman is definitely fishy - we are sure that bookies have played a role," thundered a senior parliamentarian, who will not be named since he is a senior parliamentarian. "Such a poorly executed cut shot is a betrayal of the faith shown by loyal cricket fans of Pakistan," he bellowed, before irrelevantly adding, "Hey! Did you know that if you turn Mohammad Yousuf's photo upside down, he looks like one of those Buckingham Palace guards? Hyok!" :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment
Jersey #10 Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 :hehe: i hope this is not a true story Link to comment
punjabi_khota Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 :hehe: i hope this is not a true story :fail: Link to comment
Bumper Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Akmal also angrily resigned as captain of the Pakistan team. The board has rejected his resignation on the grounds that he wasn't captain in the first place. "Oh! Er, my bad," said a sheepish Akmal in response, admitting that he had got the idea from Younis Khan. :haha::haha: Link to comment
Jersey #10 Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 :fail: alya bapa...i know it's not a real story :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: may be my try to get an iron through failed :fail: Link to comment
ViruRulez Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: awesome article :giggle: Link to comment
panesarv Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 :hysterical: love page2 of cricinfo.. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now