Comparing cricketers to cars

[FairPlay]

No automobile fan myself, I have learned a lot from many of the younger employees who worked for me over the last decade or so. Most were fanatical on the topic - second only to girls, but sometimes beyond. Hard earned money, better invested for rainier days, was frittered away on fancy cars. Doubtless it helped in the the dating game and the feel good factor. Exceptions were few and far in between. But you may well ask, who am I to judge what people like and don't like? Nevertheless, snooty judjements aside, my knowledge of cars achieved a quantum leap in the last decade or two - and I even learned to whittle away boring hours at airports leafing through magazines on the topic. In such circumstances, time passes easiest when it is most effectively killed. Over the years I tried many methods - but never really succeeded in terms of an effective universal formula. Car magazine reading was an acceptance of defeat on my part. See, ideally, I think mathematics is best, and literature a close second, but for tired minds these can sometimes be challenging to read. Given my occupation I have hardly picked up a book on either subject in the last 2 decades. Economics could and should add value - but I find it inordinately smug, and therfore dull - bizarrely seeming to add to the hours rather than reduce them. In between these choice, the challenging and the boring, car magazines sometimes served a purpose - albeit of the mindless sort. But wiith so many younger members here, a thought occurs that maybe there was some unknown value after all. Comparing cricketers to car brands might highlight some hitherto unknown aspect and liven the debate. Not quite poetry mind you, nor even prose. But here goes anyway. Feel free to add your own players and thoughts. 1) TENDULKAR: Mercedes S class. All class, elegance and solidity. Even when cruising down an autobahn at 140mph the impression is of unhurried elegance. A benchmark, occassionally overtaken, but never surpassed. 2) SEHWAG: Maserati Quatraporte. Started off trying to copy a Mercedes S class, but came out a tad different. One of a kind, blending luxury saloon with awesome styling, and unrivalled speed. Simply no comparison - completely individualistic and highly idiosyncratic. Porshce and Aston Martin, Australia and England, technically efficient and old fashioned respectively, trying their best to manufacture copies. But the openor Hughes is no Quattraporte - predelication for offside slashes inlcuded. A hot hatch maybe, and with many faults to boot - not yet ironed out. 3) DRAVID: Mercedes E class to Tendulkar's S class. The real backbone of the Mercedes line up. Can operate from taxi mode, as in Germany, to "uber executive mobil." Like the S class a benchmark - all round class and ability. 4) YUVRAJ SINGH: Mercedes SLR Maclaren. Highly specialised, not for all conditions - at least not yet. Unrivalled power and speech leaves all competitors behind in suitable conditions. Cannot serve as luxury limousine, nor cruise along highways like an S class. 5) ADAM GILCHRIST: BMW M5. Started off as normal saloon, added functionality and then let the power rip. Never smooth, but screetching here and there and giving its passengers the thrill of a lifetime. Rolls off the miles along motorways in short time - impressions of luxury countered by back crunching gear changes. Not quite the lines of a Maserati Quattraporte, nor the sumptuous elegance. But one of a kind still. 6) RICKY PONTING: Porsche 911. A long tradition of batsmanship engineering in Australia produced this 997 version. Technical strengths mean that it is an accomplished all rounder - fast and can seat 4 in relative comfort of sorts. Neverthless, a tad dull, bit common in its method now and not so individualistic as often made out to be. 7) VVS LAXMAN: Rolls Royce Silver Shadow, of 60s and 70s vintage. Regal Presence and massive engine. Sheer class. Not for all days, and not for sharp cornering on Monte Calro twisty road runs. Rather to pull up in front of the casino and off load its passengers in old fashioned tweed hat charm. 8) MICHAEL ATHERTON: Vauxhall Cavalier. Dependable work horse. Nothing exicting or original. Can take you to the supermarket or to quiet holiday in provincial French town and 3 star hotel. Stop en route for MacDonalds and fries. 9) INZAMAM-UL-HAQ: Jaguar E type. Unqiue, huge power under huge bonnet, lines that you either loved or hated. Capable of performance too, but this misses the point. To be taken out on twisty country roads, and establish style by letting flash hot hatches over take you, while you pretend to stifle a yawn. The whole point is "I can, but choose not to!" 10) KEVIN PIETERSON, AUDI Q7 6.0. Big, and supposedly for all seasons, albeit not really. Very fast too for its size even if ungainly and ugly. Plenty of space, but now being copied. Can carry plenty of gear but not as much as some others - last two seats are for show only. Not as classy as Range Rover but more reliable. 11) MOHAMMAD YOUSUF: Range Rover 3.6 TD. Classy interior and image but prone to breakdowns and tad underpowered. Easy on the eye, and to mention in later years. Has some serious off road ability compared to BMW X5s etc, rather offset by shoddy reliability. Mostly used in easy to cruise mode - rarely stretched, and when it does tends to under deliver compared to image. 12) CHRIS GAYLE: Maserati GranTurismo. As with the the Quattraporte, unsual lines and beauty compared with immense power. But while the Quattroporte has greater all round ability and can go longer distances this is more one dimensional. Brutal, short distance power, all unsubtle in method but creating head turning presence. 13) UMAR AKMAL: Nissan GT, new kid on the block. Awesome speed and purported handling. Only time will tell if as good as a Porsche 911 - deficiencies not yet apparent. Time will tell. For now, a dramtic appearance to challenge the best of the small sporty types. Decent road manners too for every day use. Reliability seems promising too. But is there a hitherto undiscovered design flaw somewhere? I am not saying. 14) Younis Khan: BMW 320D. Good brand name, decent in every respect. Deserves it too.

[Sachinism]

lol awesome :haha:

[Online]

Sheer Brilliance! Should be an article Welome to ICF!

[kooljatt]

[CricketGirl]

class!! my 2 favourates merged into one!! Cricket and Cars!! and yes i agree with it all! (for once) welcome to the madness! :icflove:

[StriKe]

Xcellent !

[DomainK]

Superb. Excellent.:two_thumbs_up:

[Sooda]

Dont know nearly enough about cars to really appreciate this, but great stuff

[cowboysfan]

inzi bhai as jaguar E-type?. its one of the greatest cars of all time.if anybody is an E-type then it should be sachin.

[champ]

great article .. welcome to ICF .. i think inzi is a perfect comparison to ambassador :hysterical:

[Dhondy]

Fairplay, I was getting quite worried. Three posts, and still no mention of cars? You sure made up on the fourth.:--D What a wonderful read! Every comparison is apt. A labour of love, and definitely my top Christmas read. It's particularly flattering to see how highly you rate Sehwag, but the Inzi metaphor was the most beautiful, because I know you enjoyed watching him...."The whole point is "I can, but choose not to!" Indeed!

[yoda]

Excellent read. :two_thumbs_up:

[OriginalCopy]

Great writing. And ofcourse, you're hitting just the right notes for the audience you're catering to. Very classy.

[The Outsider]

LOL! Really fun read - very unique!

[SachDan]

awesome :hatsoff:

[SachDan]

1) TENDULKAR: Mercedes S class. All class, elegance and solidity. Even when cruising down an autobahn at 140mph the impression is of unhurried elegance. A benchmark, occassionally overtaken, but never surpassed.

:two_thumbs_up:

[WeStMiDz]

8) MICHAEL ATHERTON: Vauxhall Cavalier. Dependable work horse. Nothing exicting or original. Can take you to the supermarket or to quiet holiday in provincial French town and 3 star hotel. Stop en route for MacDonalds and fries.

:haha: Whole article is brilliant :two_thumbs_up:

[vvvslaxman]

Afridi -

[S.Bond]

Afridi -

in kanpur...

[Celeste]

link?