punjabiplaya Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 A Guy wit 25-Inches Long Dick to God: I can't Liv wit tis long Dick! God: Go 2 that Lake, U wil find a Female Frog. Ask har 2 Marry u. she'll say 'No' & U'll Lose 5 Inches He Went & Found da Frog:Wil u Marry me? Frog: No! He Lost 5 Inches! He thought 20 Inches is stil Long. So Again: Wil u Marry Me? Frog: No He Lost 5 Inches More. He thot: 15 is Gr8, But 10 is Ideal So he askd Again: Wil u Marry me? Frog:How many Timz do I hv2 tel u? NO! NO! NO! Guy: khel khatam ,lag gaye Lt.....de
JaFanatic Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 A Guy wit 25-Inches Long Dick to God: I can't Liv wit tis long Dick! God: Go 2 that Lake, U wil find a Female Frog. Ask har 2 Marry u. she'll say 'No' & U'll Lose 5 Inches He Went & Found da Frog:Wil u Marry me? Frog: No! He Lost 5 Inches! He thought 20 Inches is stil Long. So Again: Wil u Marry Me? Frog: No He Lost 5 Inches More. He thot: 15 is Gr8, But 10 is Ideal So he askd Again: Wil u Marry me? Frog:How many Timz do I hv2 tel u? NO! NO! NO! Guy: khel khatam ,lag gaye Lt.....de :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.” The doctor asks, “What do you mean?” The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.” The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you - you’ve broken your finger!”
punjabiplaya Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Johnson, the Matchmaker, goes to meet Mr. Ford, who is a bachelor for many years. Johnson says to Mr. Ford, "I suggest you do not delay it any further. I have someone in mind who is just perfect for you. You just have to say yes and I'll arrange for you to meet her. Before you know, you'll be married!" "Please don't bother," replies Mr. Ford, "I have two sisters at home, who take care of all my needs." Johnson says, "Well that's good, but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife." "I said 'two sisters'. I didn't say they were mine!" :--D
punjabiplaya Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Bernie and Ted were walking down the street when they saw two street dogs mating in the park. Bernie said, "That's just great. I do it like that with my wife every night." Ted said, "My wife is unadventurous, she only likes to do it the old fashioned way. Give me advice how you get your wife to do this, I would also like to try it with my wife." Bernie replied, "Give your wife two pegs of whiskey and she will be all ready." The next morning they met for their morning jog and Bernie asked, "How did it go?" Ted answered, "It was great, but it took my wife eight drinks." Bernie asked with surprise, "Eight drinks?" Ted replied with a sigh, "Yes. After two she was more than willing to screw that way, but it took six more to get her out on the front lawn!"
Nova Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 A Guy wit 25-Inches Long Dick to God: I can't Liv wit tis long Dick! God: Go 2 that Lake, U wil find a Female Frog. Ask har 2 Marry u. she'll say 'No' & U'll Lose 5 Inches He Went & Found da Frog:Wil u Marry me? Frog: No! He Lost 5 Inches! He thought 20 Inches is stil Long. So Again: Wil u Marry Me? Frog: No He Lost 5 Inches More. He thot: 15 is Gr8, But 10 is Ideal So he askd Again: Wil u Marry me? Frog:How many Timz do I hv2 tel u? NO! NO! NO! Guy: khel khatam ,lag gaye Lt.....de :cantstop: :((
Sidhoni Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Once an Engineer walks into a bank in Mumbai & asks for a Rs. 50,000 loan. The bank asks for Security & the guy hands over the keys & documents of his 7-Series BMW which is parked on the street in front of the bank. After all necessary checks the bank agrees to grant him the loan. The bank's President & all officers enjoy a good laugh. For the Engineer, who used a 1 crore BMW as collateral against a Small Loan of Rs. 50000. The car was parked in the banks garage safely. 2 months later the guy returns & repays Rs. 50,000 & the interest which comes to Rs. 1250. The loan officer says, Sir v r very happy to do this transaction, but we r a little puzzled, while u were away, we checked u out & found that u r a "MULTIMILLIONAIRE", then why did u bother to borrow 50,000? The Engineer replies, where else in Mumbai can I park my car for 2 months for only 1250 and expect it to be there when I return? The Engineer smiles & says.. Pleasure doing Business with you all....
Sidhoni Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 A Guy wit 25-Inches Long Dick to God: I can't Liv wit tis long Dick! God: Go 2 that Lake, U wil find a Female Frog. Ask har 2 Marry u. she'll say 'No' & U'll Lose 5 Inches He Went & Found da Frog:Wil u Marry me? Frog: No! He Lost 5 Inches! He thought 20 Inches is stil Long. So Again: Wil u Marry Me? Frog: No He Lost 5 Inches More. He thot: 15 is Gr8, But 10 is Ideal So he askd Again: Wil u Marry me? Frog:How many Timz do I hv2 tel u? NO! NO! NO! Guy: khel khatam ,lag gaye Lt.....de :hysterical:
Sid Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 A Guy wit 25-Inches Long Dick to God: I can't Liv wit tis long Dick! God: Go 2 that Lake, U wil find a Female Frog. Ask har 2 Marry u. she'll say 'No' & U'll Lose 5 Inches He Went & Found da Frog:Wil u Marry me? Frog: No! He Lost 5 Inches! He thought 20 Inches is stil Long. So Again: Wil u Marry Me? Frog: No He Lost 5 Inches More. He thot: 15 is Gr8, But 10 is Ideal So he askd Again: Wil u Marry me? Frog:How many Timz do I hv2 tel u? NO! NO! NO! Guy: khel khatam ,lag gaye Lt.....de :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 Patrick Flynn from Dublin was delighted to win first prize in his local pub raffle. Collecting his prize of £500 in HMV vouchers a job offer at Jessops a years supply of DVDs from Blockbuster and a sightseeing helicopter ride over London he said he had never been lucky before.
punjabiplaya Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 I texted my girlfriend's mum during school, it read.... 'I fingered your daughter in her class today x' 'what ? :/' she texted back. I read what I had wrote and then realised my mistake I texted back again, 'Sorry, Sue, lol stupid phone predicting my words it should be 'ass' not 'class' x
punjabiplaya Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 I'll never forget the day I started developing Tourette's. The Pakis moved in next door. :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 Everyone keeps moaning about it but its the only thing that settles in UK that doesn't claim benefits. Snow
punjabiplaya Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 You've heard about the Tesco Horse Burgers, you should also try Tesco fa*gots, they're the dogs boll*cks
Sid Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 I texted my girlfriend's mum during school, it read.... 'I fingered your daughter in her class today x' 'what ? :/' she texted back. I read what I had wrote and then realised my mistake I texted back again, 'Sorry, Sue, lol stupid phone predicting my words it should be 'ass' not 'class' x :haha:
Desi Cartman Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Lalu- 'I love u' ka matlab kya hota he? Sonia- Main tumse pyar karti hu. Lalu- Sasoori ko english me kya bol diya, humse pyar karni lagi
DomainK Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Once an Engineer walks into a bank in Mumbai & asks for a Rs. 50,000 loan. The bank asks for Security & the guy hands over the keys & documents of his 7-Series BMW which is parked on the street in front of the bank. After all necessary checks the bank agrees to grant him the loan. The bank's President & all officers enjoy a good laugh. For the Engineer, who used a 1 crore BMW as collateral against a Small Loan of Rs. 50000. The car was parked in the banks garage safely. 2 months later the guy returns & repays Rs. 50,000 & the interest which comes to Rs. 1250. The loan officer says, Sir v r very happy to do this transaction, but we r a little puzzled, while u were away, we checked u out & found that u r a "MULTIMILLIONAIRE", then why did u bother to borrow 50,000? The Engineer replies, where else in Mumbai can I park my car for 2 months for only 1250 and expect it to be there when I return? The Engineer smiles & says.. Pleasure doing Business with you all.... The last time I read the joke, it was a Gujju businessman in New York.
Nova Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 The last time I read the joke' date=' it was a Gujju businessman in New York.[/quote'] talking about Gujju jokes, this one makes me lol.. :D Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah. Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try' Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays. Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave. 500 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room. Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.' Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says `kem chho' The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama..'
Mariyam Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 This one is for the Marathi speakers: India were playing South Africa at the Wankede sometime during the 90s and it was the Indians at the crease. Bal Thakrey was the guest of honour, for the game. Pollock was bowling and Sachin on strike. Sachin hit this huge six which went all the way over Jonty Rhodes' head and right into the celebrity stand where BT was seated. Jonty went to the stand to fetch the ball only to find it in BT's hands. Jonty: The ball, please. BT: Hela bol marathit bolayla, tarach mi ball dayine. ( Ask him to talk in Marathi if he wants the ball) Jonty (with a expression ,to the guy besides BT): Who is this guy? Bhujbal: This is Bal Thakrey, the de facto ruler of Mumbai. Jonty: Bol Thakre? BT: Maag, asa bolaycha ki. Ghe ball ata.
Laaloo Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 This one is for the Marathi speakers: India were playing South Africa at the Wankede sometime during the 90s and it was the Indians at the crease. Bal Thakrey was the guest of honour, for the game. Pollock was bowling and Sachin on strike. Sachin hit this huge six which went all the way over Jonty Rhodes' head and right into the celebrity stand where BT was seated. Jonty went to the stand to fetch the ball only to find it in BT's hands. Jonty: The ball, please. BT: Hela bol marathit bolayla, tarach mi ball dayine. ( Ask him to talk in Marathi if he wants the ball) Jonty (with a expression ,to the guy besides BT): Who is this guy? Bhujbal: This is Bal Thakrey, the de facto ruler of Mumbai. Jonty: Bol Thakre? BT: Maag, asa bolaycha ki. Ghe ball ata. This is what happens when you watch too many SRK movies. PJ :headshake:
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