Breaking news: ICC to bring in revolutionary policies to counter match fixing

[Bumper]

ICC to bring in revolutionary policies to counter match fixing ICC president Haroon Lorgat today revealed that the ACSU is about to bring in revolutionary policies to rid the game of corruption. "To start with, we will launch a self-service website for bookies and players to register themselves. This will help us identify all the bookies and players involved in fixing. We have separate categories for spot-fixing and match-fixing to track them separately" "Second, we have offered some leading Pakistani players the chance to redeem themselves by turning themselves into informants. This has been a huge success", Haroon Lorgat proclaimed triumphantly. "Following this move about 30 Pakistani players have turned informants all blaming each other. We now have more informants than fixers. But we have to honor our commitments and pardon our informants". "We have been more effective than Scotland Yard, after all", he continued. When asked about ICC's long term initiatives, Haroon Lorgat was cautiously optimistic. "We have had numerous meetings with different boards discussing variety of issues such as abolishing player salaries and offering them as bribes, appointing coaches to fix games, designating 20% of the games every year as candidates for fixing, legalising drugs, betting, mugging, money laundering and prostitution. Such progressive moves are essential to counter match fixing. Ofcourse this will all take time to implement. But some countries like Pakistan have already successfully implemented these policies. Others are expected to catch up by 2014". "Finally, We believe currently the players dont have any deterrent to avoid fixing games. There we are contemplating bringing in a three-strikes policy, by which, a player is allowed no more than three fixes in his career before being banned. This will surely disincentivize fixers and help clean the game", explained Lorgat with confidence. ICC is surely looking serious this time and is all set to cleanup the mess that has been haunting cricket for the last two decades. In the mean time, Mr. Sharad Pawar has reportedly approved a 200% bonus for himself and his executive staff at the ICC for this stellar progress on the fixing issue.

[EnterTheVoid]

LOL, awsome

[Jadoo]

:haha::haha: Nice one B.

[TheWall]

a dentist to be included in the supporting staff

[asterix]

Duniya News might pick this up.. lol

[Rajiv]

:haha::haha:

[Clarke]

"Following this move about 30 Pakistani players have turned informants all blaming each other. We now have more informants than fixers. But we have to honor our commitments and pardon our informants".

:haha::haha:

[yoda]

ICC and Anti corruption Unit. Funny shyte. :hehe:

[The Outsider]

:hysterical::hysterical:

[Guest Hiten.]

Fecking genius, Bumps! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[ZodiaC]

:hysterical: :hysterical: Mashallah Bumps is back

[SJS50]

:two_thumbs_up::two_thumbs_up::two_thumbs_up: