beetle Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 (edited) I guess things are working in your family and that is why the system continues. As long as everyone is happy and no one is suffering in silence ...things are good. as for really old people...c'mon man even in nuclear families people take care of the elders when they are sick and not able to take care of themselves.the bad cases we hear are the exceptions. Edited January 18, 2017 by beetle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaku Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 Beetle :icflove: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 (edited) >>>Your MIL seems the kind no one wants to have. It's not about my MIL ...it is something about the mothers of sons. The moment their son gets married...they turn into a possessive ,interfering maniac.Guys don't realize it because they don't go and live with their wife's dad. Imagine a guy having to live with his wife's dad's gaze 24/7. The father advising him how to treat his daughter and how to make her happier. Most women do get used to living in the joint set up if the irritations are small. but everyone is made differently and every one has a different tolerance level. I do agree with you that if you know that you are ready to get married into a joint family ...you should expect a certain level of adjustment. But it should be from both sides. And sometimes when things don't work...it is better to have some space. If someone get married into a joint family with the intention of separating later...no matter how well she is treated...then that is wrong. It is difficult for two people to adjust with each other....adjusting with an entire family is an uphill task. If someone is doing that ...then that person should be appreciated for that and not taken for grated. Lastly...There are good people and bad people in this world. There is no factory producing good people and bad people,good MILs and bad MILs.Good DIls and Bad Dils.They all exist in our lives and our families. Edited January 18, 2017 by beetle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 Aaku...:icflove: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Params7 Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 All my life, I've only seen couples who are always putting a face in public, but unhappy in real life. I've seen that with my own parents too. I see couples losing sexual interest in each other, I see people cheating, I see them being truly disgusted by one another, I see a lot of abuse. When they have kids - they just keep themselves occupied by nurturing them and that is how they suddenly find themselves fat and old. And most if not all of these relationships started by couples who truly thought they are in love and will be forever and looked like the happiest. Hey - if you want kids, want to get married early - good for you. But please understand that Marriage is not some key to eternal happiness - both of the partners have to now SACRIFICE a part of their personal time and space to share with another - and yes this could mean you won't have that much time to spend now on your hobbies or with friends. On the other hand, you've gained a life partner. OR - you could stay single, work hard and make a lot of money, no jhamela or responsibilities to come home to, hang out with friends, meet a lot of women for casual sex, pursue your hobbies, live like you want. You might not have a person close to you to share your moments with, but if you are close to your friends and family, you won't really feel lonely. I see no reason to get married when a lifestyle like this is possible to live. Personally, I think very few people have the capabilities in them to truly understand marriage and the sacrifices that is needed to make something truly great out of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLICKR392 Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 What's MIL and DIL? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raghav_12 Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 These days' date=' in like every second distressed house, [b']its the DIL who's the boss, and not the MIL, irrespective of whether the DIL goes works outside or is a house-wife, and its the MIL who is suffering and the bahu who is enjoying... I am for smart pragmatic solutions which work for every one, solutions which will differ from case to case and aren't forced but acceptable to all concerned. Actually this the reality nowadays. MIL's are getting lot of stick in evolving system of Indian society. Son and DIL would stay away. Both of them would work but when they would have baby, they would recall their mother (or MIL). MIL would be asked to come and take care of baby while both of them manage their careers. In most of the MIL's would not be able to say no, because of their love of grand children. Once child is grown up, again MIL's are not needed. I have seen this so often particularly in cases of NRI's. Couples who are comfortably settled away from their parents in India would suddenly recall their parents when they have baby. Parents would go in foreign land leaving their social circles behind. In most of the cases these parents won't really enjoy their stay, still they would put up for the sake of family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Params7 Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 I have seen this so often particularly in cases of NRI's. Couples who are comfortably settled away from their parents in India would suddenly recall their parents when they have baby. Parents would go in foreign land leaving their social circles behind. In most of the cases these parents won't really enjoy their stay, still they would put up for the sake of family. Yes I've seen this a lot too, and these old couples live a very depressing and miserable lives in foreign land. Its just another form of abuse for them. These old parents need to "man up" and say they do not have the abilities or the will to raise babies anymore - they have already done their part. Have a baby when one of the parents can take some time off or delay it if both of the parents need to work. Or just hire a babysitter. Don't be surprised when your child reflects values instilled by that babysitter and is more attached with her than with the mother or father though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 What's MIL and DIL? SAAS aur BAHU:giggle: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raghav_12 Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 Yes I've seen this a lot too' date=' and these old couples live a very depressing and miserable lives in foreign land. Its just another form of abuse for them. [b']These old parents need to "man up" and say they do not have the abilities or the will to raise babies anymore - they have already done their part. Have a baby when one of the parents can take some time off or delay it if both of the parents need to work. Or just hire a babysitter. Don't be surprised when your child reflects values instilled by that babysitter and is more attached with her than with the mother or father though. That doesn't happen because the love that grandparents have for their grandchildren. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CandyFloss Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 What's MIL and DIL? dil mil gaye! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maniac Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 Actually this the reality nowadays. MIL's are getting lot of stick in evolving system of Indian society. Son and DIL would stay away. Both of them would work but when they would have baby, they would recall their mother (or MIL). MIL would be asked to come and take care of baby while both of them manage their careers. In most of the MIL's would not be able to say no, because of their love of grand children. Once child is grown up, again MIL's are not needed. I have seen this so often particularly in cases of NRI's. Couples who are comfortably settled away from their parents in India would suddenly recall their parents when they have baby. Parents would go in foreign land leaving their social circles behind. In most of the cases these parents won't really enjoy their stay, still they would put up for the sake of family. I agree with you..... it happens most of the times......it is sad that some grand parents who just don't have the energy to run around a toddler being emotionally blackmailed into doing so. Either hire a nanny or put the child in day care if both husband and wife are working,that way they at least develop their social skills. It is heart breaking that some people treat their parents like some kind of hired help. Grandparents need to play and have fun with their grand kids,not forced into raise them for the inefficient parents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLICKR392 Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 SAAS aur BAHU:giggle: Ah ! Now its all starting make more sense. :giggle: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 If anyone cares ...here is an honest opinion. The one thing that DILs want is freedom to be adults and to be treated like adults. To not have to take permission whether going out to work or to visit her parents.To not have to be told what to wear,when to get up,where to work ,what to eat,how to bring up her children.Just some basic respect and freedom. P.S...Stop acting like little boys in front of your wife at least....don't let your mommy feed you khana with her hands...don't lie down in your mom's godi and stop saying mommy se pooch ke bataounga.Most woman expect their husbands to be adults.:P With the way DIL's cook these days, do you blame the guys who run behind their mommies for food? :giggle: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSK Fan Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Doesnt Beti also has tolive with some restrictions? IMO, neither beti nor bahus should have any more restrictions than a son. And the day this happens is the day our country gets saved Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 With the way DIL's cook these days' date=' do you blame the guys who run behind their mommies for food? :giggle:[/quote'] Eat your mommy's khana to your heart's content man....just eat it like a man not a baby:--D Don't let her feed your,sit by your side wiping your face or helping you drink your water....:P(Feel free to do this when wife is not there) Also don't feed your wife or indulge in too much PDA in your mom's range....it blows the fuse in mommy's head.:haha: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 I agree with you..... it happens most of the times......it is sad that some grand parents who just don't have the energy to run around a toddler being emotionally blackmailed into doing so. Either hire a nanny or put the child in day care if both husband and wife are working,that way they at least develop their social skills. It is heart breaking that some people treat their parents like some kind of hired help. Grandparents need to play and have fun with their grand kids,not forced into raise them for the inefficient parents true....it is really sad. If you can't look after your own children...how can you expect your old parents to do the same. Grand parents should only enjoy the grandchildren and only as long as they want to. They have done their bit in life...let them have their peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texy Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Mr. Beetle: Arre Radhika...stove pe khanaa jall rahe hai Beetle: Ruko...ICF me post kar rahi hu MIL ke bare mein...dil ki bhaaras nikalne do :cantstop: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Mr. Beetle: Arre Radhika...stove pe khanaa jall rahe hai Beetle: Ruko...ICF me post kar rahi hu MIL ke bare mein...dil ki bhaaras nikalne do :cantstop: Mr Beetle is out for a week...that is why I am in top form.:--D:hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raghav_12 Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Eat your mommy's khana to your heart's content man....just eat it like a man not a baby:--D Don't let her feed your,sit by your side wiping your face or helping you drink your water....:P(Feel free to do this when wife is not there) Also don't feed your wife or indulge in too much PDA in your mom's range....it blows the fuse in mommy's head.:haha: why so much problem with that :P. It's only his mother doing so :dontknow: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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