Sachinism Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 I got this message today FML I'm due for one of those :icflove:
Desi Cartman Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!" FML :hysterical:
THX_1138 Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Do you write your reports by hand instead of printing them ? Welcome to the 70s? this is not a project report, i have to write 4 page proofs for weekly tutorials. but i have a very legible handwriting.
h4te Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 this is not a project report' date=' i have to write 4 page proofs for weekly tutorials.[b'] but i have a very legible handwriting.
THX_1138 Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 this is true... my s.o. and i were discussing porn and evidently she only watches lesbian porn. i asked her if she is into girls, she said yeah, big time... salivating, before i could push the matter of a threesome, she remarks sardonically "i dont know, i might be gay..." (p.s. we are planning a marriage for later this december). f. m. l. invested 9 muthafracking years into this relationship.
THX_1138 Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 ha ha ... is that eric estrada from chips? dude i look like a ditto copy of him (with better hair).
Desi Cartman Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Today, I told my girlfriend I needed someone to talk to because I just found out my aunt has cancer. She told me to talk to her in an hour, Spongebob was on. FML Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himslef to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my sex toys out where a child could get them. I am a cop. FML :giggle:
h4te Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 this is true... my s.o. and i were discussing porn and evidently she only watches lesbian porn. i asked her if she is into girls' date=' she said yeah, big time... salivating, before i could push the matter of a threesome, she remarks sardonically "i dont know, i might be gay..." (p.s. we are planning a marriage for later this december).[/quote'] :woot::woot::woot: you lucky b@st@rd. THREEEEEEEEESSOOOOMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEE!!!
THX_1138 Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 :woot::woot::woot: you lucky b@st@rd. THREEEEEEEEESSOOOOMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEE!!! was shot down... ok maybe the best choice of words, but it is not likely.
h4te Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 was shot down... ok maybe the best choice of words' date=' but it is not likely.[/quote'] FYL :((
flamy Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 this is true... my s.o. and i were discussing porn and evidently she only watches lesbian porn. i asked her if she is into girls, she said yeah, big time... salivating, before i could push the matter of a threesome, she remarks sardonically "i dont know, i might be gay..." (p.s. we are planning a marriage for later this december). f. m. l. invested 9 muthafracking years into this relationship. you should not be this lucky :headshake: was shot down... ok maybe the best choice of words' date=' but it is not likely.[/quote'] :yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay:
Sachinism Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years having sex with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!!". April Fools was 12 days ago. FML Today, I parked my car on the side of a street downtown right where I recently had my car broken into through the window. I covered my window and put a sign up saying,"Please do not break in. No valuables." I came back to another window being busted in and a sign that said "Just checking :)". FML Today, I was cuddling with the guy I like. I looked into his eyes and said, "Your eyes are so blue, like the ocean." He replied by saying, "Your eyes are so brown... like my ****". FML
Desi Cartman Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML :hysterical:
Desi Cartman Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Today, it was my girlfriends birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML :woot:
Gambit Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 I attended this hip pub's opening night. My friend's band played some amazing music and really had the crowd jumping. There were lots of pretty girls around and some were shrieking and screaming with the music. I was trying to get into it as well but the bar TV had Star Cricket on, which was showing highlights from Ashes 2005. Instead of trying to chat up the girls who were eyeing me or trying to get into the music, I watched the Ashes. FML.
Guest Hiten. Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 I attended this hip pub's opening night. My friend's band played some amazing music and really had the crowd jumping. There were lots of pretty girls around and some were shrieking and screaming with the music. I was trying to get into it as well but the bar TV had Star Cricket on' date=' which was showing highlights from Ashes 2005. Instead of trying to chat up the girls who were eyeing me or trying to get into the music, I watched the Ashes. FML.[/quote'] Scoring on drunk girls <<<< Cricket. You made the correct decision :--D Okay...not really :finger:
DomainK Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 I attended this hip pub's opening night. My friend's band played some amazing music and really had the crowd jumping. There were lots of pretty girls around and some were shrieking and screaming with the music. I was trying to get into it as well but the bar TV had Star Cricket on' date=' which was showing highlights from Ashes 2005. Instead of trying to chat up the girls who were eyeing me or trying to get into the music, I watched the Ashes. FML.[/quote'] FYL....YDI. :finger:
The Outsider Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 I attended this hip pub's opening night. My friend's band played some amazing music and really had the crowd jumping. There were lots of pretty girls around and some were shrieking and screaming with the music. I was trying to get into it as well but the bar TV had Star Cricket on' date=' which was showing highlights from Ashes 2005. Instead of trying to chat up the girls who were eyeing me or trying to get into the music, I watched the Ashes. FML.[/quote'] :banghead: You and varun are the hope for ICF to proliferate into the next generation!
fineleg Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 This is now a paperback book in bookstores: [ame=http://www.amazon.com/F-My-Life-Maxime-Valette/dp/0345518764]Amazon.com: F My Life: Maxime Valette, Guillaume Passaglia, Didier Guedj, Missbean: Books[/ame]
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