jokes

[punjabiplaya]

Little Jimmy asks his dad, 'Why are gardeners called green fingered when their fingers aren't actually green?' 'It's just a saying, son' 'Oh, and why are thieves always caught red handed when actually their hands are black?' 'Good point, son'

[punjabiplaya]

China has the largest population in the world because they keep counting the same people again and again.

[asterix]

China has the largest population in the world because they keep counting the same people again and again.

:hysterical:

[asterix]

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him on the seventh day resting. He enquired of god,"Where have you been?" God pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made" said God. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "Its a planet," replied God, " and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and its going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth, "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people." God continued, pointing to the different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, "What's that?" "Ah," said God. "That's Punjab, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, five great rivers, and many impressive towns, it is the home of the world's finest saints, soldiers, artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from Punjab are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,"What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!" God replied very wisely, "Wait till you see the pen chauds I'm putting next to them in Pakistan." :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[beetle]

^^^^^:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[Yoda-esque]

China has the largest population in the world because they keep counting the same people again and again.

Now that's funny

[adi B]

Wife came home from work to find husband sitting watching the football. "I've decided I'm leaving you' date=' all you do is talk about football. You think about nothing else" she said. "I'm also seeing someone else. He's younger than you, handsome, tender, understanding, treats me like a queen, does anything I ask, has a 9 inch dick and fecks me every day hard and dirty 'til I cant take anymore." "Really?" the husband replied, "what team does he support?"[/quote'] LOL

[punjabiplaya]

Black parents teach their children to be more like Nelson Mandela. And spend twenty years in prison.

[punjabiplaya]

Little Jimmy asks his dad, 'Why are gardeners called green fingered when their fingers aren't actually green?' 'It's just a saying, son' 'Oh, and why are thieves always caught red handed when actually their hands are black?' 'Good point son

[punjabiplaya]

Nigella Lawson has been inconsolable since her divorce from Charles Saatchi. She just keeps shouting out, "charlie, charlie, where's my fecking charlie?"

[punjabiplaya]

I've finally found something that my girlfriends ar*e doesn't look big in......... The distance!

[punjabiplaya]

**Sky Breaking news** An Irish man who took Ryanair to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.

[punjabiplaya]

Two plane loads of Scouse volunteers left Merseyside today bound for the Philippines.They will be assisting with the looting.

[SLICKR392]

Little Jimmy asks his dad, 'Why are gardeners called green fingered when their fingers aren't actually green?' 'It's just a saying, son' 'Oh, and why are thieves always caught red handed when actually their hands are black?' 'Good point son

:cantstop:

[punjabiplaya]

The English FA have confirmed that to play for England you must at least have some English in your blood line. How did Emile Heskey get in you ask ? Well, his great great great grandfather ....... ate Captain Cook

[punjabiplaya]

Nelson Mandela and Spurs, both buried at home today!

[punjabiplaya]

The memorial service for Nelson Mandela has really affected black populations all over the world. Apparently crime figures dropped by 84% while it was being televised.

[punjabiplaya]

Nelson Mandela has been described in South Africa as 'The Father Of Our Nation'. And like most black fathers, he wasn't around for a good twenty years :hysterical:

[punjabiplaya]

It's a good job that Nelson Mandela was imprisoned back then instead of now. I can't imagine he'd be such an inspirational figure if he just had a 3 month suspended sentence with 80 hours of community service.

[punjabiplaya]

As a mark of respect for Nelson Mandela, the great man who spent his life campaining for respect and equality for all black people, all flags in South Africa are to be flown at half-mast. Not too low though, some nig*a might steal them.