beetle Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 After 10 years of marriage, I've learned an important lesson. Flowers and an apology are a lot easier than actually changing this was for beetle heeheee :nice:Satyavachan!! Replace the flowers with cake.....That works too.:--D
punjabiplaya Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 There are two kinds of women in this world. The ones who get headaches and the ones who aren't married. :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 On average, British couples have sex two to three times a week, whereas Japanese couples have sex only one to three times a month. This is upsetting news as I had no idea I was Japanese. :--D
punjabiplaya Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 One of the girls in work called me arrogant yesterday, so I asked what she meant. She said, "You've got a big head." "If you think my head's big you should see the size of my c*ck," I replied. :--D
velu Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 "Chemicals in toothpaste and soap could be behind drop in male fertility" No wonder the pakis are outbreeding us 6 to 1 :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :rofl:
punjabiplaya Posted June 10, 2014 Author Posted June 10, 2014 Two Pakis have fell down an old well outside my house. It's a dreadful situation they're screaming and I can't get cement delivered until tomorrow.
punjabiplaya Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 How marriage works A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old yaar dosht. So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.' 'Where are you going, mere honey bunny?' asked the wife. I'm going to the pub, meri gori kaboothri. I'm going to have a beer.' The wife said, 'You want a beer, my parrohna ji?' She went and opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries:Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, meri misherie, but in the pub.. u know...they hav frozen glaaas' He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,-'You want a frozen glaaaas, my jind jaan?' She took a huge beer glass out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes.. meri billi, but in the pub they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise.. OK?' You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps,pork strips, etc. 'But my sweet honey.. At the bar..u know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that...' 'You want dirty words, bastardaaaaaa? Drink your fecking beer in your maa ch*rd frozen glaaas and eat your ph*n ch*rd sh*tty snacks, coz you are married now, and you aren't fecking going anywhere! Sa*la As*hole, Phen da yaar, kurri yaavi-ah bejja chup kar ke!!!!! so he stayed home
punjabiplaya Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman who does not do what she's told :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 Im watching the Russia v South Korea game..And this Korean player is fantastic he's playing against 11 Russians all by himself....:--D
punjabiplaya Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poor!! :--D
Lord Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 How marriage works A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old yaar dosht. ���� So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.' 'Where are you going, mere honey bunny?' asked the wife. I'm going to the pub, meri gori kaboothri. I'm going to have a beer.' The wife said, 'You want a beer, my parrohna ji?' She went and opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries:Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, meri misherie, but in the pub.. u know...they hav frozen glaaas' He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,-'You want a frozen glaaaas, my jind jaan?' She took a huge beer glass out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. �� The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes.. meri billi, but in the pub they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise.. OK?' ������ You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps,pork strips, etc. �������� 'But my sweet honey.. At the bar..u know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that...' 'You want dirty words, bastardaaaaaa? Drink your fecking beer in your maa ch*rd frozen glaaas and eat your ph*n ch*rd sh*tty snacks, coz you are married now, and you aren't fecking going anywhere! Sa*la As*hole, Phen da yaar, kurri yaavi-ah bejja chup kar ke!!!!! �� so he stayed home�� :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 Luis Suarez has left Liverpool to join Borussia Munchonyourcentreback
punjabiplaya Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 This woman said to me, "Whites and Coloured shouldn't mix." "Bloody right," I said. "It's that kind of ethnic interbreeding that's ruining our country and causing social collapse in our society." "I don't know about that," she said, "I'm just trying to help you with your laundry."
punjabiplaya Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 I just saw some pictures of people suffering from the effects of prolonged use of a certain drug. It was harrowin
punjabiplaya Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 5 Laughs: No1: A man was so jealous of his newly born baby that he put poison on the wife's nipples while she was asleep. The next day their driver died of poisoning. ************************************** No2: A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is dying of AIDS. His son asked his Dad why. He answered, "so that when I am dead, no one will sleep with your mum." ************************************** No3: A lady lost three panties in her house and blamed her maid in front of the husband. Maid said "sir. you are my witness you know I never wear panties!" ************************************ No4: Couple is having a quickie and their 6 year old catches them. Son says: "What are you doing?" Ask the son. Father: "I’m putting petrol in your Mom." Son: " Which means Mom’s engine is taking too much petrol cause Mr. Zwane just put some in yesterday!" Mother fainted!!!! ************************************ No5: A man went to the pub with his wife. When he left for the counter to buy drinks a prostitute approached his wife & whispered, "You must DEMAND cash before sex, I know him he doesn't pay. ************************************
punjabiplaya Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 New generation !!!!!!!! 1 dost 2sre se: Kal raat internet nahi chal raha tha aur mobile service bhi nahi thi, to main apne gharwalon ke pass jaa ke betha … Kafi achhe log hain yaar wo bhi..
punjabiplaya Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 BREAKING NEWS FROM IRAQ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ﻧﻮﺭ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺭﻓﺖ ﺳﺎﯾﻪ ﭘﯿﺪﺍ ﻧﯿﺴﺖ ﻧﻘﺶ ﺩﯾﻮﺍﺭ ﻭ ﭼﺸﻢ ﺧﯿﺮﻩ ﻣﺎ ﻧﻘﺶ ﺳﺎﯾﻪ ﺩﮔﺮ ﻧﻤﯽ ﺩﺍﻧﺪﯾﻮﺍﺭ ﻭ ﭼﺸﻢ ﺧﯿﺮﻩ ﻣﺎ ﻧﻘﺶ ﺳﺎﯾﻪ ﺩﮔﺮ ﻧﻤﯽ ﺩﺍﻥ ﻧﻮﺭ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺭﻓﺖ ﺳﺎﯾﻪ ﭘﯿﺪﺍ ﻧﯿﺴﺖ ﻧﻘﺶ ﺩﯾﻮﺍﺭ ﻭ ﭼﺸﻢ ﺧﯿﺮﻩ ﻣﺎ ﻧﻮﺭ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺭﻓﺖ ﺳﺎﯾﻪ . ﺭ ﺭﻓﺖ ﺳﺎﯾﻪ ﭘﯿﺪﺍ ﻧﯿﺴﺖ ﻧﻘﺶ ﺩﯾﻮﺍﺭ ﻭ ﭼﺸﻢ ﺧﯿﺮﻩ ﻣﺎ ﻧﻘﺶ ﺳﺎﯾﻪ ﺩﮔﺮ ﻧﻤﯽ ﺩﺍﻥ ﻧﻮﺭ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺭﻓﺘﺪﺍ ﻧﯿﺴﺖ ﻧﻘﺶ ﺩﯾﻮﺍﺭ ﻭ ﭼﺸﻢ ﺧﯿﺮﻩ ﻣﺎ ﮔﺮ ﺭﻓﺖ ﺳﺎﯾﻪ ﭘﯿﺪﺍ ﻧﯿﺴﺖ ﻧﻘﺶ ﺩﯾﻮﺍﺭ ﻭ ﭼﺸﻢ ﺧﯿﺮﻩ ﻣﺎ ﻧﻮﺭ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺭﻓﺖ ﺳﺎﯾﻪ. ﺭ ﺭﻓﺖ ﺳﺎﯾﻪ ﭘﯿﺪﺍ ﻧﯿﺴﺖ ﻧﻘﺶ ﺩﯾﻮﺍﺭ ﻭ ﭼﺸﻢ ﺧﯿﺮﻩ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺭ ﺳﺎﯾﻪ ﭘﯿﺪﺍ ﻧﯿﺴﺖ ﻧﻘﺶ ﺩﯾﻮﺍﺭ ﻭ ﭼﺸﻢ ﺧﯿﺮﻩ ﻣﺎ ﻧﻘﺶ ﺳﺎﯾﻪ ﺩﮔﺮ ﻧﻤﯽ ﺩﺍﻧﺪﯾﻮﺍﺭ ﻭ ﭼﺸﻢ ﺧﯿﺮﻩ ﻣﺎ ﻧﻘﺶ ﺳﺎﯾﻪ ﺩﮔﺮ ﻧﻤﯽ ﺩﺍﻥ ﻧﻮﺭ ﺳﺎﯾﻪ ﺩﮔﺮ ﻧﻤﯽ ﺩﺍﻥ ﻧﻮﺭ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺭﻓﺘﺪﺍ ﻧﯿﺴﺖ ﻧﻘﺶ ﺩﯾﻮﺍﺭ ﻭ ﭼﺸﻢ ﺧﯿﺮﻩ ﻣﺎ Pata nahi Ab kya hoga
punjabiplaya Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 Police: *Knock knock* Me: Who is it? Police: Police!! Me: What do you want? Police: To talk Me: How many are you? Police: Two Me: Talk to each other
punjabiplaya Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between "complete" and "finished". However, in a linguistic conference, held in London England, and attended by some of the best linguistics in the world, Santa singh from punjab was the clever winner. His response was: When you marry the right woman, you are "complete". If you marry the wrong woman, you are "finished". And, when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are "completely finished". His answer received a five minute standing ovation. :--D:--D
punjabiplaya Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 Panga!!!! Wife: tell me how much did Sachin score in 2003 world cup against Pakistan? Husband: 98, why? Wife: now tell me why you didn't wish me for my birthday yesterday? Silence........... Husband to friends: I couldn't even say I have a bad memory
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