Zelig Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 At a job Interview… Interviewer: Your good name? MM: I’m Morris Mania. It’s pronounced as MOR-iss MAN-ia. It’s an Anglicization of Maurice (Latin) "dark-skinned, Moorish". Morris has 12 variant forms: Mo, Moe, Morey, Morice, Moris, Morrey, Morrie, Morrison, Morry, Morse an… Interviewer: Dude…dude…are you done? MM [proudly]: No sir, I was just getting warmed up. Interviewer [sensing he could be in for a long un…starts to shiver] Interviewer [clearing the sweat on his forehead]: How old are you? MM: I was 28 until y’day night. I turned 29, today. I was born on one fine Wednesday morning, on the 28th of April, 1981. Famous people who were born on that day are Jessica Alba, Penelope Cruz, Jay Leno, Jimmy Barnes, Saddam… Interviewer [angrily]: Marris! Marris! Gimme a break, will ya? MM [playfully]: It’s Morris, saar. But I don’t fault you. It’s quite common to mispronounce my name. Infact, on one of the online forums… Interviewer [frustrated]: enough…enough. Interviewer: Why do you need this job so bad? Give me JUST ONE [emphasizes] good reason? MM: Sir, …….a………………..e………………….i……………..o……………………..u…....................... Sir, ………………….a………………..e………………….i……………..o……………………..u…...................... Sir, …………….…….a………………..e………………….i……………..o……………………..u…..................... Sir, …….a………………..e………………….i……………..o……………………..u………………….....................Sir, ………………….a………………..e………………….i……………..o……………………..u……….a.. Interviewer: You’re in! MM [excited]: Thanks a lot, sir. It’s a privilege to work for your… Interviewer: It’s ok. Okay! Interviewer [sends a word to his sub-ordinate] Sub-ordinate: Excuse me, sir. Interviewer: Come on in. [points to MM] He’s Morris Mania. He’s just joined in today. Brief him about his job. SO: Hi Morris. MM: Hello. How are you doing? It’s been a pleasure to meet you. How… Interviewer [thinks to self]: There you go again. ========================================================== Online chatting Sir John: SRK or BB? Girl: Is this some kind of a poll? And what does BB stand for? Is it some kinda mosquito repellent? SJ [excites]: Ya, it’s a poll. BB stands for Blue Brigade. Girl: Who/what’s that? SJ: He’s a moderator at one of the online cricket forums. Girl: And how exactly do you expect me to know him? SJ [shrugs]: I thought you would know him. Girl [thinks to self]: God! Y’day I’d to put up with some chap called desi cartman and today, this guy. Life sucks! Girl: Hmmm…anyone, but SRK is fine with me. SJ: But BB is a Canadian. Girl: oh…wait...you got me thinking. Tell me more. SJ: He supports Chelsea Girl: Sweet Jesus! Go on… SJ:…and he is a Gujjew. Girl: SRK. ========================================================== After s3x Owl1 [bi owl]: Is this your first time? H4te [giggles]: Are you kidding? Owl2 [pointy elbow owl]: No, she meant with the animals…birds. Is this your first time? H4te [not particularly impressed]: Oh yeah! It’s. Owl3 [skinny owl]: So humans don’t interest you no more? H4te [clears his tears]: I don’t want to talk about it. Owl4 [busty owl]: It’s alrite, dear. Tell us… H4te [sad]: I’d a playmate named flamy. He was my soul mate, he was my life. He and I used to go to the beach on every Saturday night and lay nude on the shore, counting the stars. It meant the world to me to wake up every Sunday morning next to the luv of my life. I absolutely l…[cries] Owl1: Take it easy, mate. H4te: Life was so good. We were one fine, happy couple until last Sunday...[weeps] Owl1 [concerned]: What happened? H4te: I woke up that morning to clear beautiful blue skies, but he was no where to be seen. A few days later, I came to know from a common friend that he’d left me for a girl. I dunno why…[cries] Owl5 [gay owl]: A guy leaves another guy for a GIRL? You humans are sick! --------------------------------------------After a few moments of silence------------------------------------------ Owl6 [trying to gee-up h4te]: Who’s that? [Points to a tattoo of Arun Lal on his forearm] H4te [excites]: I fondly call him Uncle Lal. He’s my role model, inspiration and what not. He luvs the wildlife, just like me and I wish I could bed him sometime in this birth or next. Okay…enough of these bedtime stories. I’ve set the alarm exactly at one hour from now. We’ll cut out the foreplay and head straight to the act. Owl7 [teen owl] [thinks to self]: Does he ever get tired? ========================================================== NOM:icflove:
Shane Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Maurice :hysterical: No bits about his geographical prowess :D Welcum back Il Pea!
Zelig Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 Thx for the kind words. I was just havin fun..NOM Messers MM, SJ, h4te, flamo, desi paaji and the owls:icflove:
Guest Hiten. Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 how the f is this funny ? you're a waste of a cyber sperm :finger:
Desi Cartman Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 Thx for the kind words. I was just havin fun..NOM Messers MM, SJ, h4te, flamo, desi paaji and the owls:icflove:
lonestarranger Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 The Maestro would get pissed seeing that some shiznuts are using his titles for dumb threads..
Zelig Posted July 29, 2010 Author Posted July 29, 2010 Thnx for the info. Now GTFO. Thx again:bow: Isn't it ironic that you got Bush in ur av and u are callin me a shiznut? Moron:phehehe:
lonestarranger Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 ^ Peace bro.. Wasn't directed at you, 'shiznuts' actually fits the ICF members to a tee..
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