Rajiv Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 This is mostly for folks who live or have spent a substantial amount of time outside India. Considering most ICF'ers here who probably had some type of domestic help ( called Servants in India ) in their life, how would you see them if you were in India now. I am saying this as we get used to equality and typically there is no culture of domestic help by large and even so, they are treated with respect( ** bad in rare cases ** ) Hypothetical or reality, can you treat or talk to your domestic help the same way you did when you were in India before immigration? for eg., - if your help bows down to pick your shoes, typically in India, you would stand ground but now there will be an inkling feeling to move away We all know how they are treated in India, its utterly shameful but thats how it is Question inspired by Dhobi Ghaat
IKnowU Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Yep after regularly visiting India, the things you do abroad like taking your clothes the laundry or dusting off the mess after cooking dinner you do it out of habbit. And the maid does it you feel so guilty watching them do it in front of you when you are more then capable of doing it yourself. The worst one is when the maid does the daily sweeping of the house, and your sitting watching tv or something and your suppose to go on with your business like she was never there. I felt inclined to help them move stuff and get out of the way to make it easier for them. but thats life i guess. our current maid back in india has been with us for over a decade. We treat her well and shes happy.
flamy Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I and my family were always cool with our servants. Sometimes, this led to problems as the servants would sit on our head sometimes. My bava always used to say to maintain lines :D
Zap_Brannigan Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 This is mostly for folks who live or have spent a substantial amount of time outside India. Considering most ICF'ers here who probably had some type of domestic help ( called Servants in India ) in their life, how would you see them if you were in India now. I am saying this as we get used to equality and typically there is no culture of domestic help by large and even so, they are treated with respect( ** bad in rare cases ** ) Hypothetical or reality, can you treat or talk to your domestic help the same way you did when you were in India before immigration? for eg., - if your help bows down to pick your shoes, typically in India, you would stand ground but now there will be an inkling feeling to move away We all know how they are treated in India, its utterly shameful but thats how it is Question inspired by Dhobi Ghaat I never talked down to any of my "servants" while growing up.Maybe didnt like some of their kids, not because they were servants kids but because they were a-holes. So i dont think anything has actually changed. But after living abroad for a few years,i expect people to do their job properly and get angry when they dont. Also have stopped tipping for just about everything and had arguments with people wanting bribes. An example would be, before when i went to a wedding, i would make sure that the driver knows when the lunch time is and makes sure he gets some food. But now, i feel that its his job to get fed and i shouldnt do anything about it as he is already paid a monthly salary and daily bata.
flamy Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 ^ interesting. we sometimes give lunch money to our driver and tell him to go.
Mariyam Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I know the OP didn't mean it in that sense, but I find the whole notion of " your thoughts towards servants change when you return from xyz" as very condescending. Its not as if all those who have servants in India mistreat them or look down upon them all the time. Not denying that the looking down happens, but thats not limited to servants alone, but to almost everyone from that strata of the society. Watchmen, valets, post men, BMC people, Himesh Reshamiya etc. I haven't lived abroad much, except for as a tourist or a visitor. From my experience, the UAE is no different from India in its treatment of servants. And in Kenya, the servants are much worse off vis a vis India. Just my limited observations. I don't recollect seeing any servants in Europe / US, but thats more a result of economics than the mindset of a society. When you pay them that much ( as a percentage of your income), you tend to have more respect.
punjabi_khota Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Well I don't know about you guys, but where my parents live right now (in India), the maids (who live in servant quarters with their family) have it too good. In fact, they are in high demand and actually dictate terms to people who want to hire them. :dontknow: No chance of anyone talking down to them.
DomainK Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Come to Mumbai and see how the maids rule over the upper-middle class.
Sachinism Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 None of you have any stories of 'looking after' the maid?
Watson87 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I used to get my servants into trouble we had three boys around 15 - 18, every time my mom used to take an afternoon nap, we used to hit the field and play cricket, never looked down upon them, always thought them as friends. Off course after living abroad, every time I ask them to do something I kind of feel guilty so I give them money, I have close bondings with them, they are like my brothers and the time I was ready to leave home they all started crying so I guess I am not that bad.
DomainK Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I've had only one hot maid' date=' my entire life :(([/quote'] Are you trying to say that you have remained loyal to her all these years?
Watson87 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Are you trying to say that you have remained loyal to her all these years? So you have done it with your maid? You guys are evil just like Shiny Ahuja :D My maids were all 3-4 years older than me and used to call me "Bhai" :((
punjabi_khota Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Why is this thread starting to read like a fantasy section of cheap indian porno websites :hmmm:
DomainK Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 So you have done it with your maid? You guys are evil just like Shiny Ahuja :D My maids were all 3-4 years older than me and used to call me "Bhai" :(( When did I ever say anything like that?:dontknow: That's flamy's specialty.
Rajiv Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 I know the OP didn't mean it in that sense, but I find the whole notion of " your thoughts towards servants change when you return from xyz" as very condescending. Its not as if all those who have servants in India mistreat them or look down upon them all the time. Not denying that the looking down happens, but thats not limited to servants alone, but to almost everyone from that strata of the society. Watchmen, valets, post men, BMC people, Himesh Reshamiya etc. I haven't lived abroad much, except for as a tourist or a visitor. From my experience, the UAE is no different from India in its treatment of servants. And in Kenya, the servants are much worse off vis a vis India. Just my limited observations. I don't recollect seeing any servants in Europe / US, but thats more a result of economics than the mindset of a society. When you pay them that much ( as a percentage of your income), you tend to have more respect. My point was very general, typically they are not treated as well as they should be. It's more to do with the class system
flamy Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Are you trying to say that you have remained loyal to her all these years? :facepalm: wat i meant was hot maids are a myth. :desiwoman:
Holysmoke Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Yeah, it does feel awkward. Sometimes I feel guilty and help around, and sometimes I'm like.. I'm paying them for this.. no need to feel guilty. But I NEVER treat them rudely or look down upon them. It's actually not that hard to have a rapport with them. I think of it as that's their skill-set and they're making a living out of it. It's a job after all, the word "servant" is misguiding. I call them "domestic help". For example, if I gotta get something collected, I say I'm gonna send someone and get it picked up, rather than I'm sending my servant.
yoda Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I am normally busy when I am visiting, I don't interact much with the "servants". They come, do their work and go. My mom interacts with them, I am just waiting for the next Khana or the next place to see or the next set of visitors to meet. :giggle:
Recommended Posts