Lurker Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 Do you beleive in the whole adage - I am happy for you? I had this little titbit with Rajeev sometime back. When it comes to someone close to you, not inculding family, are you happy to see them happy? Or it depends on many other factors, sometime this being just a figure of speech to wash your hand. Rajeev genuinely felt he was happy for a couple of folks we were thinkin about, I was not so convinced. There is this study out there today that sites like Facebook and Twitter may be causing misery for others. Apparently when you see people smiling and enjoying life, it makes you a bit miserable and insecure. The multivariate analysis indicated that those who have used Facebook longer agreed more that others were happier, and agreed less that life is fair, and those spending more time on Facebook each week agreed more that others were happier and had better lives http://online.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/cyber.2011.0324 So how do you feel about other people's happiness? Happy for them..or doesnt matter? Or worse makes you sad?
Vijay.Sharma Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 Do you beleive in the whole adage - I am happy for you? I had this little titbit with Rajeev sometime back. When it comes to someone close to you, not inculding family, are you happy to see them happy? Or it depends on many other factors, sometime this being just a figure of speech to wash your hand. Rajeev genuinely felt he was happy for a couple of folks we were thinkin about, I was not so convinced. There is this study out there today that sites like Facebook and Twitter may be causing misery for others. Apparently when you see people smiling and enjoying life, it makes you a bit miserable and insecure. http://online.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/cyber.2011.0324 So how do you feel about other people's happiness? Happy for them..or doesnt matter? Or worse makes you sad?LOL, the answer is t,s,p,c. It totally depends upon what the source of happiness is? If the happiness of my Aussie friend has something to do with India losing big time to the Aussies then obviously I am not happy for him. If say my brother is happy that he got a promotion and a good raise then I am definitely happy for him. If my friend and I are both giving a shot at something and only one of us can get selected and he does, well I won't be happy for him but I won't be sad for myself either. I think that is a dignified response which comes about naturally without having to force it. So, yes your question is rather moot. Maybe a better question would be - under what conditions would you feel happy for the other
Alchemist Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 One of my co workers is leaving my company. He was sufferenig a lot under his Boss. His boss was not perfect match for him. I really feel happy for him. Watching him come to work and feel terrible was just aweful. Also, I think what people we are talking about. If a jerk is happy, I might not feel the same way though.
Sooda Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 Im not 'unhappy' or miserable at seeing my 'friends' or just people I know showing off what nice lives they have on fb, but will admit to being more than a tad jealous sometimes. Ill have to tell myself, he/she earned this by being smarter/working harder. I guess what Vijay said really, depends on who it is etc. A good friend doing well I think I would be genuinely happy for.
cybervickey Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 I don't say it a a lot but when i say it i don't really mean it more than half the time .
flamy Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Oh, for sure. I am happy to see a complete stranger happy also. We are all connected.
nikred Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I seem to be happy for success of people who are humble. People who boast their success, :finger:
ravishingravi Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 No, I don't. Neither do I take it seriously when someone asks "How are you ? "
EnterTheVoid Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Absolutely. I don't see why one shouldn't be unless the other person is a complete ****ing jerk. I am extremely happy for everything my friends achieved as they had to struggle through a lot to achieve it.
bulbul Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Absolutely. I don't see why one shouldn't be unless the other person is a complete ****ing jerk. I am extremely happy for everything my friends achieved as they had to struggle through a lot to achieve it. what about guys who dont have to struggle for anything... for people who acieve by struggling everyone will feel happy...thats natural
hari504504 Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 is there such a thing as I am neither happy nor sad.. the "Good for you, but its not like I care...." state
EnterTheVoid Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Nope, zero respect for those who constantly need to be spoon fed.
DomainK Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 People say many things which they don't necessarily mean. There are some people I know who say "I am happy for you" with a grin when they actually are very jealous.
bulbul Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 People say many things which they don't necessarily mean. There are some people I know who say "I am happy for you" with a grin when they actually are very jealous. yes thats the thing...lot of fake grins,expressions...except for few people whom you know very well we can easily skip others opinion
Singham Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 There are two types of people in the world: -->First one do not care if you have a problem -->Second one is happy that you have a problem.
nospam Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Do you beleive in the whole adage - I am happy for you? I had this little titbit with Rajeev sometime back. When it comes to someone close to you, not inculding family, are you happy to see them happy? Or it depends on many other factors, sometime this being just a figure of speech to wash your hand. Rajeev genuinely felt he was happy for a couple of folks we were thinkin about, I was not so convinced. There is this study out there today that sites like Facebook and Twitter may be causing misery for others. Apparently when you see people smiling and enjoying life, it makes you a bit miserable and insecure. http://online.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/cyber.2011.0324 So how do you feel about other people's happiness? Happy for them..or doesnt matter? Or worse makes you sad? do you have any other source for the article? the link says its pay per view/needs subscription. I am very happy to see my friends/relatives doing well/being happy. I don't visit facebook/twitter much, but how does one know if they are really happy or just increasing their likes/followers (increasing e-penis) by posting happy/cool stuff?
punjabi_khota Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Of course I believe in it. Some friends are like family.
Lurker Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 LOL' date=' the answer is [b']t,s,p,c. It totally depends upon what the source of happiness is? If the happiness of my Aussie friend has something to do with India losing big time to the Aussies then obviously I am not happy for him. Whats tspc?? So, yes your question is rather moot. Maybe a better question would be - under what conditions would you feel happy for the other That would be super-qualifying it, wouldnt it? First of all family is ruled out, so this includes friends and acquiantances (sp?). Secondly the question was more along the lines of popular sentiment and the use of the phrase. This is one of those phrases that has perhaps become more common in the modern era, and time. I cant imagine my Dad, or my Mom say, use it as much as I do. For the simple reason they perhaps didnt meet as many people in their everyday life. Me and you do. So maybe as we meet more people, our sentiments towards them get a bit diluted perhaps?? Im not 'unhappy' or miserable at seeing my 'friends' or just people I know showing off what nice lives they have on fb, but will admit to being more than a tad jealous sometimes. Ill have to tell myself, he/she earned this by being smarter/working harder I get what you are saying Sooda. Nothing wrong with being jealous at times I suppose, so long as it does not get you worked up too much. No, I don't. Neither do I take it seriously when someone asks "How are you ? " I don't say it a a lot but when i say it i don't really mean it more than half the time. Curt and to the point. :winky: do you have any other source for the article? the link says its pay per view/needs subscription. I am very happy to see my friends/relatives doing well/being happy. I don't visit facebook/twitter much, but how does one know if they are really happy or just increasing their likes/followers (increasing e-penis) by posting happy/cool stuff? I will see if I can find another link. The second part of your post is pertinent though. Sure none of us know if anyone is really happy or not, but at the same time dont we all put our best foot forward? When someone posts a picture online or his, or his loved ones, I am sure he picks the best shots.
Vijay.Sharma Posted January 23, 2012 Posted January 23, 2012 t,s,p,c = time, space, perspective, context. These are the four fundamental variables that determine our experience of the universe. They are responsible for relativity and the illusion of absolutes (when ppl are not aware that they live in a relative universe). That would be super-qualifying it, wouldnt it? I don't think so. It would actually be putting things in context. Your question was - "Do you mean it when you say 'I am happy for you' ". Now please think about it - do you really think you can have one absolute answer for such a question? Never! So what factors dictate what your answer will be? One or many of the four variables - t,s,p,c. Now, with the above awareness that you can never answer the question "Do you mean it when you say 'I am happy for you' ", what would be a better way to gauge the public's viewpoints? Possibly if you ask them under what conditions would they be happy for someone or not happy for someone. If you notice all the posts in this thread - they have just played out the dance of relativity - t,s,p,c. Most often people have used the "context" variable to say when they are not happy or when they are truly happy. For ex - they have said they are happy when someone close to them achieves big, or when someone has put hard work in. And they have said they are not happy when someone who dunn deserve something gets that thing, etc. The moment you start seeing things for what they are - different experiences colored by t,s,p,c - your awareness of the relative universe and human psychology becomes greater
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