Resume -- Shoiab Akhtar

[Bumper]

How would Akhtar's resume look like ? What would he say about himself to a prospective employer or a school ? _______________________________________________________ Shoaib Akhtar 114 (Opp to Hakim’s house), Dope Bazaar, Rawal Pindi, Pakistan cell-1: 499-443767 (for Indian sponsors only) cell-2: 499-567412 (Bollywood babes, please call me!) tel: 6784321 (for Hakim: If you are unable to reach me, leave the packet at my door) e-mail: showape@gmail.com (PCB bashtards just email me) Objective

• I want to ball the fashtest ball and exshite people.
• I alsho want to be a legaan.d
• For a shange I wanna ban shomebody

Academics Education M. C La’hore University, Math Arrears pending B. C. Pindi Unversity, Physhix Arrears pending. Test scores Chukcing test: Phailed first attempt. Passhed by 1 degree in second attempt. Dope test: Passhed official tesht IQ: Not applicable Awards and Honors

• Fashtest baller
• Highesht number of bans
  • Banned for smoking in elementary school
  • Banned for copying exam in high school
  • Banned for balling by ICC (thanks Dalmiya for reverting ban)
  • Banned for not balling (what can I do, I wash injured!) by PCB
  • Banned for tumpering ball by ICC chootiya$
  • Banned for dope abushe from ICC CT
  • Latest ban for whooping Ashif
  • Banned from Pakpassion and ICF for trawling (fackers!)

  [*]Spheshal award from Shewag for being the kindest baller. [*]For ninth conshecutive year, voted by PCB as “outshtanding” playar.

Greatest Strengths

• Can ball fasht
• Great interpershonal skillsh. (ashk: Ashif, Inshi, Woolmer & PCB)
• Down to earth (when bowling to Shewagh)
• Greatast Match whinnah
• High kwality kriket brain. (Coached Sami)

Work Experience (Total: 9 yearsh)

• My recaard spheak for itshelf.

References 1)Shami 2)Inshi 3)Ashif ________________________________________________________

[Mr. Wicket]

LOL! Nice! :D

[Rahul Khan]

:haha: its simply hilarious ... tfs! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[DesiChap]

:hysterical:

[Guest BossBhai]

-- Removed on request of the user --

[Ram]

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

• Banned for smoking in elementary school
• Banned for copying exam in high school
• Banned for balling by ICC (thanks Dalmiya for reverting ban)
• Banned for not balling (what can I do, I wash injured!) by PCB
• Banned for tumpering ball by ICC chootiya$
• Banned for dope abushe from ICC CT
• Latest ban for whooping Ashif
• Banned from Pakpassion and ICF for trawling (fackers!)

:hysterical::hysterical:

[Sachin_Rulez]

:haha::haha::haha: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Brilliant!!!

[veer]

:haha: thread title aur author dekh kar hassi aati he.. the guy was 'outshtanding' and now he is OUT standing.. :hysterical:

[dial_100]

:hysterical: bumps... this one was long due... its classic mate? good job there..

[Tapioca]

:hysterical:

[Dirty_South]

:cantstop:

[kumble_rocks]

:hysterical::hysterical: Bumper for President !

[beetle]

:haha:

[King]

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:Simply Briiliant

[Don]

lmao classic classic humour

[The Outsider]

Superb!!:hysterical:

[sandtest]

:hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: class...pure class!!.....send it to Oscars.

High kwality kriket brain. (Coached Sami)

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[Dravid]

lol, good one :hahaha:

[Lurker]

Top stuff Bumper. I was actually reciting in my mind all the words - phaast, recaard. Seriously speaking you gotta a gift and you really should write more. Meanwhile I shall laught at: Chukcing test: Phailed first attempt. Passhed by 1 degree in second attempt. Dope test: Passhed official tesht :hysterical:

[Dhondy]

That's Bumper speak. You can imitate, but not match. Hahahahaahaa!