Desi Cartman Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Desi.....you:rock: As for NRI who leave their daughters behind......these confused hypocrites don't deserve to be parents.Even dogs care more for their pups. I know a couple of who sent their kids to India for 6-8 months when their kids were only 2-4 months old. We (my wife and I) were shocked but they have their own choices, I may never do this but why do we judge others? Maybe they really need money to take care of themselves and their family back home. Maybe their parents are ok with it and maybe from their POV they are making the bigger sacrifice by being away from their kid just to help their families back home. The point is that its what people do everywhere, I cant imagine going on a vacation to hawaii without my little kids but people want alone time with their spouses and do go. Are they all bad people? I have seen kids in India who are being raised by grandparents as both parents leave early for work and come back late at night. Some parents dont really even care and their kids spend most of the time with the domestic help, how is it different from people in USA who drop their kids at childcare at 7 and pick them up at 6? People have their own issues, agenda, goals and thinking. Its very difficult to judge.
randomGuy Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Yes' date=' people have to get it checked because TB is still common in India and they dont even have treatment for TB in Australia. Many years ago a student died of TB after being put in quarantine in Australia for couple of months, the Aussies couldnt treat him.[/quote'] Yar developed countries have a closed group where they have travel visa-on-arrival for each other. But people from Developing countries like india have to apply. In India, very large no. of people would be found to be something or the other in their lungs. Those old parents don't smoke , dont have TB. Taking visa medical tests then long travel and costs etc are cumbersome. That makes kids living in India and outside two very different things. (I mostly have respect for NRIs. They are making India proud with their conduct outside.:two_thumbs_up:)
Kalia_Test Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 Thanks for the varied discussions so far inspite of *some* attempts to make this an NRI vs resident Indian issue :two_thumbs_up: We have covered :- 1. Some NRI parents unfortunately discriminate between sons and daughters where it is OK for the Sons to live the "western" life but hypocritically want their daughters to be "shuddh" desi girls in a "safe" environment in India. 2. Plight of parents of NRIs who feel the "Empty Nest" syndrome in India and their struggle to adapt to alien life ( with some exceptions pointed out by members who wanted to have a fruitful discussion ). 3. Very valid points raised by our female ICF members Radhikaji and Book_worm ji about how the situation is similar to parents that have only female off-springs. This is definitely another social evil ( I can easily relate as my wife has one younger sister and no male sibling - all Property BY TWO for me :--D - hate my co-brother :mad: - j/k ) Humble request yet AGAIN to posters to not try and make this an NRI vs resident India debate. It is NOT. This is only to discuss issues SPECIFIC to NRIs and maybe learn from each other how to handle it. Next I would like to put forward this cheating NRI marriage cases which were a big problem atleast in AP ( and maybe elsewhere too ). Even now, there are parents of girls that want NRI grooms ( admittedly it came down a lot recently ). As you all know, I type BIG essays often but I am becoming a bit lazy nowadays ( thanks to Mrs.Kalia and her improved Culinary Skills :two_thumbs_up: ) so I will again reference an article http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/ahmedabad/Fraudulent-NRI-marriages-on-the-rise/articleshow/27667834.cms AHMEDABAD: Rachna Shah was married off with much fanfare in 2010 to an NRG residing in Singapore. On reaching Singapore, she learnt that her husband was not an engineer but was employed in an insignificant temporary job. A few months after their marriage, he got into the habit of beating her after getting drunk. She was finally saved by the local police, taken to the Indian embassy and sent back to India. She filed for divorce in Kheda where she got married once again. The case against the first husband is still going on. According to the National Commission for Women ( NCW), the problem is much bigger in scale than it may seem. Over 20,000 Indian girls have not seen their husbands after their honeymoon. "Most of the times the girls are very young and unaware of the laws in a foreign country. This adds to the problem," said lawyer Gopinath Amin. There are thousands of such cases in India where a woman has been deserted by her NRI husband. Ever since recession hit the US in 2009, instances of Gujarati girls being deserted by their NRI husbands have been on the rise. In a majority of the cases, the NRI groom married the girl, went on a honeymoon and then sent her back to India after promising that he will come to get her when her visa was ready. But the groom never came back. Payal Bhatt, 33, got married to a Germany-based NRI in Ahmedabad two years back. Her husband left for Germany with all her jewellery and money after spending honeymoon in Shimla. Instead of taking Payal back, he started asking for money to build a hospital. On investigation, it was found that he was a fraud. Payal has moved back to Australia where she is working and still searching for her fraudulent her husband. "The trend is very disturbing. Many parents come to us with the complaints of their daughters being cheated and left in the lurch in foreign countries," said K H Patel, chairman, NRG centre, GCCI. The demand for NRI grooms has dropped sharply in the last few years but there are still many middle-class and lower middle-class families that want their daughters to settle abroad. "Many people still relate to NRI marriages as a status symbol. They marry off their daughters without much verification and the daughter suffers in foreign countries," said Amin. "Most girls from well-to-do families now look for grooms in their own city or state. If they go to the US, they will have to work to maintain the standard of living they are used to," said Patel. According to a paper published by New Jersey-based NGO, Manavi, there were 12,000 abandoned women living in Gujarat in 2004. According to a 2007 study, an estimated 25,000 wives of NRIs have been deserted in Punjab. In 2008, Vayalar Ravi, minister for overseas Indian affairs, had said that in Punjab alone, at least 20,000 legal cases were pending against NRI husbands, presumably for abandoning their wives.
zen Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Humble request yet AGAIN to posters to not try and make this an NRI vs resident India debate. It is NOT. This is only to discuss issues SPECIFIC to NRIs and maybe learn from each other how to handle it. A non-resident Pakistani, Sri Lankan or Bangladesi and their families could have similar issues as an NRI :cantstop: If the threads was about say "parents feeling empty nest or whatever syndrome", it would have been more creditable NRI is an Indian citizen living abroad. If he is a "scum", he would be one whether he lives in Ind or abroad :winky: So what's next Non Resident Indian Criminals (Dawood unless he has taken a Pakistani passport) vs. Resident Criminals (for e.g. the serial rapists) :hysterical:
Kalia_Test Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 A non-resident Pakistani, Sri Lankan or Bangladesi and their families could have similar issues as an NRI :cantstop: If the threads was about say "parents feeling empty nest or whatever syndrome", it would have been more creditable NRI is an Indian citizen living abroad. If he is a "scum", he would be one whether he lives in Ind or abroad :winky: So what's next Non Resident Indian Criminals (Dawood unless he has taken a Pakistani passport) vs. Resident Criminals (for e.g. the serial rapists) :hysterical: You can open threads on non-resident Pakistanis, Sri Lankans,etc :two_thumbs_up: Look forward to it This thread is about NRIs.
zen Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 You can open threads on non-resident Pakistanis, Sri Lankans,etc :two_thumbs_up: Look forward to it This thread is about NRIs. In that case, scums who go abroad and ignore their parents, wives, husbands, kids, etc. should be strongly condemned and subjected to punishment where applicable While there could be bad apples, there are people too who work in hard conditions (for e.g. in ME, Iraq, etc.) to support their families in India including parents, wife, kids, etc. .... Poor girls are smuggled out by scums in India to countries in ME to do unspeakable things. The plight of such NRIs is unimaginably bad Additionally, one should also accept that conditions for women, kids, etc. in India is not ideal. And steps should be taken to improve the situation in India
dial_100 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Jobs take someone born in UP to Hyderabad the same way it can take them to Kaneda. You are confusing the decency of taking care of parents with behavior of NRIs. There are some really good and some bad people' date=' everywhere[/quote'] +Thank you. As a child you should know what your parents want from you. Sometimes mere conversation on phone worth everything and otherwise spending entire life together is not worthwhile. It all depends.
Kalia_Test Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 In that case, scums who go abroad and ignore their parents, wives, husbands, kids, etc. should be strongly condemned and subjected to punishment where applicable While there could be bad apples, there are people too who work in hard conditions (for e.g. in ME, Iraq, etc.) to support their families in India including parents, wife, kids, etc. .... Poor girls are smuggled out by scums in India to countries in ME to do unspeakable things. The plight of such NRIs is unimaginably bad Additionally, one should also accept that conditions for women, kids, etc. in India is not ideal. And steps should be taken to improve the situation Thanks bro :two_thumbs_up: I have repeatedly said this thread is about issues of NRIs and how we as a group can discuss how others handled it and learn from it. If other nations also have same issues, fine but any country has its own subset of responses based on its own culture,laws,etc. AFAIK, no one said that situation is ideal in India for women ( or indeed any oppressed group). The only reference was about some hypocrisy of an NRI woman ( diff thread BTW ) that tried to justify her decision ( which she had all rights to make without trying to push away her own guilt feelings ) and convince herself that it is right. In that process, she tried to malign her native country ignoring perils in her own adopted country.
zen Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Thanks bro :two_thumbs_up: I have repeatedly said this thread is about issues of NRIs and how we as a group can discuss how others handled it and learn from it. If other nations also have same issues, fine but any country has its own subset of responses based on its own culture,laws,etc. AFAIK, no one said that situation is ideal in India for women ( or indeed any oppressed group). The only reference was about some hypocrisy of an NRI woman ( diff thread BTW ) that tried to justify her decision ( which she had all rights to make without trying to push away her own guilt feelings ) and convince herself that it is right. In that process, she tried to malign her native country ignoring perils in her own adopted country. I may have skimmed through that thread so don't recall the details .... Originally, I from Gujarat where women are safe. So for me it is not an issue .... However, I have heard some horror stories from folks from North on crime against women and goondagardi. To support such claims, there are comments from political leaders stating "Boys will be boys", so such concerns on Ind are not invalid If women and kids in Ind are not treated fairly, Ind deserves to be maligned. On one hand, we actively criticize countries such as Pak for what's wrong out there and on the other hand, take up arms against those who may have a genuine concern with respect to Ind. If this is our attitude, how can we blame Pakistanis for supporting their country despite the state of affairs out there? To me, the concept of this thread appeared to be on the lines of "NRI maligned Ind, so let's malign NRIs". IF my assumption on the thread is correct, such attitude will not help those living a hard life in Ind Make no mistake, Ind is still a developing nation. Its infrastructure, pollution level, corruption, waste management, overpopulation, treatment of women, crime against kids, disorder (including traffic), etc. are pathetic .... If that NRI only referred to situation of women in Ind to not raise her daughter in this overpopulated and scary country, she was probably being generous to Ind. It is not her problem, if some people want to be delusional about Ind (much like many in the neighboring countries) Looking at a macro level, If you are religious, look at the number of religions that were born in India. How many Gods have come to teach the population what is right. Why would so many Gods have to come to this part of the world to teach the people what's right if the people were that good? .... Despite getting such invaluable lessons, has the population learned anything? .... Appears as if people in India don't learn and try to sweep things under the carpet. Whose fault is it if Ind gets criticized? PS If people in the subcontinent were so progressive why would the land turn from a land of golden birds to a land of snake charmers? Ind has destroyed its own self!
maniac Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 By staying and working in the U.S with the salary I make I can provide way better for my parents,I can save for a better future for my daughter,live a better lifestyle and also help other family members of need be. And no I don't need to make a million $ to achieve all that,I can accomplish all that making an above average middle class income. So staying here is all win win for me. I am not going to be a pseudo patriot and go all manoj Kumar out here and neither am I fascinated with being a total American. I LOOK OUT FOR MYSELF AND MY FAMILY.....don't give a crap about anything else and that's the way it should be. My parents visit me and I visit India every alternate year. We used to speak and Skype every 2-3 days. Now with my 2 year old they are come on skype every day.Everyones happy. Life is not a Sooraj barjatya movie. I am sure if I live 24/7 with my parents after a point good chance I will get on their nerves....they want their own personal space and love the life style that India provides and I like the lifestyle here. Show me one Sravan Kumar in India who 24/7 does seva for their parents.iinfact I don't take them for granted...when they visit me or when I talk to them I make every moment count. And when I say "I" this is not just me getting all defensive,this is based on me and my observations of a lot of families I know....yeah few douchebags exist and obviously they provide movie makers with ammunition to make a melodrama to sell their movies and a lot of non nris seem to form their stereotypes based on that lol. Yes one practice among nris I have observed and again this might be a stereotype is using their parents like a free daycare with a guise that they love their grandchildren or they will be bored at home and put an obligation on them to stay the full 6 months. This I don't agree with.
maniac Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 As an nri I am ashamed for Indians asking me if all black people are thugs and killers or how they would be terrified if they saw a black person in the U.S and other such racist statements..is this the right forum to raise this question. Having said that the other day I took a detour to avoid George Washington bridge and ended up in Harlem.....some fking scary momens though :nervous:
Kalia_Test Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 Edit : mods - Close this thread pls. Many NRIs seem to have a problem with issues raised. It was certainly not intended and I am sad that some insecure posters managed to turn this into an NRI vs resident Indian thread.
maniac Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Sad to say... this thread seems to have put salt on some insecure NRI wounds...and more sad that they are trying to malign resident Indians They seem to carry a BIG chip on their shoulders...Creating imaginary enemies and fighting them. Dil ko behlane ke liye ghalib khayaal accha hain Teenage pregnancies in US among highest in world- Ignore Blacks being persecuted regularly - Ignore Interiors of US more dangerous than many places in India - ignore No desi ever goes beyond his cocoon in US to even know the country - Ignore Yes yes...my google newsreader says some lunatic said "boys will be boys" in India ...makes me happy...I can justify my decision to stay in US . I can quote this...Yay :yay: Pollution - :mad: My house in India was next to a sewer line and I grew up there but now I want < 0.0001% pathogens. Can't stand dust you see. There are hours and hours of traffic lines and Jams in US but my head is in sand...see...jaahil desi log have no traffic sense....Yet another reason for my ( unselfish ) decision to move abroad. India is developing country - I have no obligation to stay there to develop it. Let others develop. I am only there to remind them that they are developing. Meanwhile, I will make merry.:two_thumbs_up: Living in India sucks dude deal with it....infact living anywhere else apart from usa sucks Now watch a :facepalm: kumar movie and go to sleep
maniac Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 the only way I am moving to India is due to deportation or if someone offers to pay me my u.s salary in India :--D Had high hopes for modi and he may be doing some things right but the fact is for India to get out of the hole it is going to be a long uphill battle which is not going to happen in my life time. Till then USA USA
zen Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Sad to say... this thread seems to have put salt on some insecure NRI wounds...and more sad that they are trying to malign resident Indians They seem to carry a BIG chip on their shoulders...Creating imaginary enemies and fighting them. Dil ko behlane ke liye ghalib khayaal accha hain Teenage pregnancies in US among highest in world- Ignore Many girls in Ind are married off in their teens .... Teenage pregnancies being amongst highest does not imply these girls were raped .... And in Ind, there would be no extensive data available to make a fair comparison :P Blacks being persecuted regularly - Ignore The percentage would be still lower than Indians discriminating Indians based on religion, region, caste, language, etc. Interiors of US more dangerous than many places in India - ignore Lol any data to support this? Assuming that you are implying that all interiors in US are more dangerous. If not, the statement is invalid No desi ever goes beyond his cocoon in US to even know the country - Ignore lol again a generalization when 1000s of them travel regularly for work, holidays, etc. not only within the country but also abroad Yes yes...my google newsreader says some lunatic said "boys will be boys" in India ...makes me happy...I can justify my decision to stay in US . I can quote this...Yay :yay: Pollution - :mad: My house in India was next to a sewer line and I grew up there but now I want < 0.0001% pathogens. Can't stand dust you see. Bhai, it is like saying that I have been poor all my life so don't want to be rich There are hours and hours of traffic lines and Jams in US but my head is in sand...see...jaahil desi log have no traffic sense....Yet another reason for my ( unselfish ) decision to move abroad. India is developing country - I have no obligation to stay there to develop it. Let others develop. I am only there to remind them that they are developing. Meanwhile, I will make merry.:two_thumbs_up: Having organized traffic and disorder in traffic are two different things :winky: Nice attempt at sarcasm, but let's add some logic to it (my response in red) Btw, I am a Canadian not an NRI :P PS Now take a chill pill (venting anger on NRIs will not solve Ind's problems) and accept that Ind does deserve to be criticized :agree:
maniac Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Nice attempt at sarcasm' date=' but let's add some logic to it (my response in red) Btw, I am a Canadian not an NRI :P Bad weather and ridiculous healthcare ....time to take advantage of NATO
Kalia_Test Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 Living in India sucks dude deal with it....infact living anywhere else apart from usa sucks Now watch a :facepalm: kumar movie and go to sleep Enjoy your life mate :two_thumbs_up:...and yeah be "safe" I need to wake up early for my voluntary participation in "Grameen vidyudeekaran yojana". Had pledged my Electrical Engg skills to help a village get proper Electricity ( some issues there) . Will most probably do nothing other than check wires and a bit of Voltmeter. My humble contribution to my country. Will make me happy that I actually did something to improve things instead of being an outsider and criticize :nice:
maniac Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Enjoy your life mate :two_thumbs_up:...and yeah be "safe" I need to wake up early for my voluntary participation in "Grameen vidyudeekaran yojana". Had pledged my Electrical Engg skills to help a village get proper Electricity ( some issues there) . Will most probably do nothing other than check wires and a bit of Voltmeter. My humble contribution to my country. Will make me happy that I actually did something to improve things instead of being an outsider and criticize :nice: :two_thumbs_up: good for you where as I donate my extra surplus $$$ to Nepal earthquake,Haiti earthquake,fund scholarship for a poor girls education in India etc all while getting tax write offs....woo hoo USA USA USA
Kalia_Test Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 Nice attempt at sarcasm' date=' but let's add some logic to it (my response in red) Btw, I am a Canadian not an NRI :P PS Now take a chill pill (venting anger on NRIs will not solve Ind's problems) and accept that Ind does deserve to be criticized :agree: Hope your post made you happy about the choices that you might have made in life :two_thumbs_up: Discussing problems of NRIs = Ignoring India's problems #canadalogic :facepalm:
zen Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Enjoy your life mate :two_thumbs_up:...and yeah be "safe" I need to wake up early for my voluntary participation in "Grameen vidyudeekaran yojana". Had pledged my Electrical Engg skills to help a village get proper Electricity ( some issues there) . Will most probably do nothing other than check wires and a bit of Voltmeter. My humble contribution to my country. Will make me happy that I actually did something to improve things instead of being an outsider and criticize :nice: Great .... I am assuming you don't realize how Ind can be helped by outsiders. Wonder why Modi goes everywhere asking for investments and shouting "Make in India", why Modi thanks NRI for improving Ind's image globally, why people of Ind origin in US administration help to improve Ind's case (and not let it go unheard like how Pakis do in their home country. And yes, Hafiz Saeed serves people in Pak as well) :P
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