Malcolm Merlyn Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 May be because we are more open mined about our affections and priorities changing as life happens. May be because women are more emotional about the person they chose to make a life with ,the person they chose to make a child with. May be because we are not judged for ,or scared to be judged for changing our loyalties or priorities. May be because we are not taught (brain washed )from childhood to only consider parents as Gods . May be because we are taught(brain washed ) that after marriage,our husbands are the first priority. May be because there are no sarcastic names given to us if we love our spouse more ....like the men have to endure(joru ka gulaam) Feminist spotted. tweaker 1
beetle Posted June 20, 2016 Author Posted June 20, 2016 2 hours ago, Malcolm Merlyn said: Feminist spotted. Feminism kya hai isme? It is the reality of Indian families. A girl who makes her husband and marriage a priority over her family of birth is considered a well brought up girl with good sanskar. But a guy who makes his wife and marriage a priority over his birth family is considered a joru ka gulam or a bad son. I regularly praise my husband in front of my parents and they feel happy about it. Happy for the both of us. My husband once praised my cooking in front of his mom and she left the kitchen banging her feet. My husband can hug me in front of my parents without any drama or worry about making my parents insecure but doing the same in front of his parents result in 'mausam mein badlav' and some door and window banging . This when we stay in nuclear families.Joint families ka drama to kuch aur he hota hai. This gives me the idea for another thread.
Malcolm Merlyn Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 Feminism kya hai isme? It is the reality of Indian families. A girl who makes her husband and marriage a priority over her family of birth is considered a well brought up girl with good sanskar. But a guy who makes his wife and marriage a priority over his birth family is considered a joru ka gulam or a bad son. I regularly praise my husband in front of my parents and they feel happy about it. Happy for the both of us. My husband once praised my cooking in front of his mom and she left the kitchen banging her feet. My husband can hug me in front of my parents without any drama or worry about making my parents insecure but doing the same in front of his parents result in 'mausam mein badlav' and some door and window banging:flute: . This when we stay in nuclear families.Joint families ka drama to kuch aur he hota hai. This gives me the idea for another thread. Iska aapko uttar diya jayega.Pratiksha kare.
Nova Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 10 hours ago, radhika said: My husband once praised my cooking in front of his mom and she left the kitchen banging her feet. My husband can hug me in front of my parents without any drama or worry about making my parents insecure but doing the same in front of his parents result in 'mausam mein badlav' and some door and window banging . Mothers-in-law get jealous and feel the bahu is taking away a part of them. A mother who has nurtured her son all these years sees new competition I guess. You seem to be a loving wife. Are you equally loving and caring towards your in-laws? One of my friends was having problems with his mother-in-law who always used to pester him to make more money and buy a bigger house etc. She used to say.."oh you are our son, we want the best for you". The constant whining got to him and he retorted.."we are happy with what we have. If you're so concerned about your daughter and you call me your son, why do you not give us money and we will buy a bigger house". After that the whining stopped. tweaker 1
moniker Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 I'm not an emotional person. I'm not married and haven't started a family yet. Maybe my priorities will change later on in life. The closest people in my life right now are my mother and sister. Father's dead. The one person I'd take a bullet for is probably my sister. She has a whole life ahead of her to look forward to and I'd want her to experience it. tweaker, Book_Worm and beetle 3
zakk Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 3 hours ago, moniker said: I'm not an emotional person. I'm not married and haven't started a family yet. Maybe my priorities will change later on in life. The closest people in my life right now are my mother and sister. Father's dead. The one person I'd take a bullet for is probably my sister. She has a whole life ahead of her to look forward to and I'd want her to experience it. tweaker 1
beetle Posted June 21, 2016 Author Posted June 21, 2016 8 hours ago, Nova said: Mothers-in-law get jealous and feel the bahu is taking away a part of them. A mother who has nurtured her son all these years sees new competition I guess. You seem to be a loving wife. Are you equally loving and caring towards your in-laws? Why does the father of the bride not see the damaad(son in law )as competition? How is he comfortable seeing his little princess with this new guy ? Yeh khujli guys ki mummyji ko he kyun hoti hai? Of course I am a loving wfe....because I have a loving husband. I am as respectful and caring as I should be.Loving is a different thing altogether.....I will love them when they love me. Elders first. 8 hours ago, Nova said: One of my friends was having problems with his mother-in-law who always used to pester him to make more money and buy a bigger house etc. She used to say.."oh you are our son, we want the best for you". The constant whining got to him and he retorted.."we are happy with what we have. If you're so concerned about your daughter and you call me your son, why do you not give us money and we will buy a bigger house". After that the whining stopped. awww you guys are so lucky.You can talk back like that and the mother in law stays quiet. If we talk back like that , life will become a saas bahu serial.... tweaker 1
Malcolm Merlyn Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 :hmm:awww you guys are so lucky.You can talk back like that and the mother in law stays quiet. If we talk back like that , life will become a saas bahu serial.... Women get jealous of women. Simples.
beetle Posted June 21, 2016 Author Posted June 21, 2016 21 minutes ago, Malcolm Merlyn said: Women get jealous of women. Simples. Too simplistic an answer. The answer is more to do with the entitlements that being a boy's parents brings.The unfair advantage that the 'ladke wale' have been given by the society. Anyways...that is for another thread,another day.
Malcolm Merlyn Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 Too simplistic an answer. The answer is more to do with the entitlements that being a boy's parents brings.The unfair advantage that the 'ladke wale' have been given by the society. Anyways...that is for another thread,another day. If you had a son you would be the same.
coffee_rules Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 (edited) kids and then spouse, in that order. For family members older than me, it is better that I survive for the kids' sake. mother is better than father for kids esp if she is financially independent. Edited June 21, 2016 by coffee_rules biglebowski and beetle 2
Book_Worm Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 7 hours ago, Malcolm Merlyn said: If you had a son you would be the same. I am not and i won't. I have seen how girls parents get treated in our indian culture. i have vowed never to be that insensitive. i have a son and i will never do that to his in laws. tweaker and beetle 2
beetle Posted June 21, 2016 Author Posted June 21, 2016 8 hours ago, Malcolm Merlyn said: If you had a son you would be the same. That we will never know . All I know is that I am blessed to be her mom.I hope the future generation moms turn out to be better mother in laws to their daughter in laws. As for the present generation....my parents are good parents to their children but quite average in laws to their daughter in law. Same with my in-laws. They are very good parents to their children,but their hearts are very small for the daughter in law. 1 hour ago, Book_Worm said: I am not and i won't. I have seen how girls parents get treated in our indian culture. i have vowed never to be that insensitive. i have a son and i will never do that to his in laws. Hugs to you BW....may your tribe grow. tweaker 1
beetle Posted June 21, 2016 Author Posted June 21, 2016 52 minutes ago, coffee_rules said: kids and then spouse, in that order. For family members older than me, it is better that I survive for the kids' sake. mother is better than father for kids esp if she is financially independent. Very sensible approach .....but some fathers can be better parents.My husband can take care of my child as well as I do....sometimes even better.
maniac Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 (edited) For my old family Bajaj Chetak.....I will definetely trade a bullet for it Edited June 21, 2016 by maniac MechEng, biglebowski and beetle 3
Malcolm Merlyn Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 I think after reading her posts i will take a bullet for@radhika e beetle 1
maniac Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 Hmm......I always thought about who I would instinctively shove in front of a bullet heading my way beetle 1
beetle Posted June 21, 2016 Author Posted June 21, 2016 8 minutes ago, maniac said: For my old family Bajaj Chetak.....I will definetely trade a bullet for it Yeh bullet meri jaan...manzilon ka nishaan. maniac 1
Book_Worm Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 7 minutes ago, maniac said: Hmm......I always thought about who I would instinctively shove in front of a bullet heading my way LOL! tweaker 1
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