Don Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 Ok, am 20 now, still living with my parents! But since the last year or so, just cant get along with parents thinking at all. Having massive fights where verbal volleys are jostled is a daily chore. I am absoultely sick of it. I feel there is a massive generation gap as well as personality clash involved. The thing is i love my parents, i just want to get along harmoniously, i loathe diffrences and shouting matches but It just doesnt seem to happen for me. Did anyone else have similar problems during this age with their parents, if so what did you do to counter it? I am seriously contempleting quitting home to get away from the constant heckling, but i also know that would seriously detriment the parental relationship further. Any help advice snippets from past would be really helpful.
Cricketics Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 just try to change ur self.. Family and parents are the best things in life one could ever earn or have. in short, try to adjust..
Predator_05 Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 Why are you still living with your parents mate ? Most people move out the moment they graduate from high-school and start university.
Don Posted March 12, 2008 Author Posted March 12, 2008 My house is just beside the university i go to! didnt make sense to move out!
fineleg Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 don, talk about the differences and try to meet them halfway. you give in some, they have to give in to you as well.
umpire Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 best thing is to talk to them and explain them that you would like to live alone for some time. I am sure they will be happy.
Rajiv Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 best thing is to talk to them and explain them that you would like to live alone for some time. I am sure they will be happy. ..it can send a wrong message Whatever you are experiencing is a normal part of life, don't let if get to you...in the end your parents will the only one to support you ( in bad times ), forget friends etc I can't imagine arguing with folks on a high level, at their age..it hurts them more than it hurts us so sometimes you just gotta gulp it down
mhr123 Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Parents have few rights (1) Right to be respected and obeyed (2) Right to scold and rebuke - They love us , don't they .. (3) Right to be looked after - As they looked after us when we were small kids.So return it to them by looking after them ... Imagine mother (some times Dad) used to clean our shits , holding our hands when we took the first step. Now when they r getting older how can he leave them . (4) Right to be helped - help them financially , remember those days when Mama used to give extra Pocket money hiding it from Papa. (5) Right to kind words/good behavior - remember those days when u used to ask silly questions as a child , sometimes asking something constantly, still parents wouldn't get frustrated so why do we get frustrated and behave badly when we are asked few questions... Mother and Father are the best gift from GOD ..... believe me ask those who have lost both or either one of them. Sry Mate if I have started becoming a bit of a Philosopher but its a fact.
coffee_rules Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 I lived in the college hostel throughout college (including class XI and XII) and I went home after graduation. I had the same problems as you had. After 3 years in the job, I moved (as I opted for a job outside the city where my parents lived) and I have never went back. I have a very good relationship with them now (I lost my dad tho'), and I still cherish the time I lived with them. I think it is important to experience living outside the home shelter until you are ready to start your own family and then it will be good to have your parents live close by for the sake of your family.
Lurker Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Probably the best option for you is to move out. I say it because once you spend time on your own you will not only discover yourself but also realize the value of parents. If you are staying with parents their is a good chance that simple things in life - food when you arrive home from school, laundry on the weekend etc - are already taken care of and maybe you just dont realize what a pain in the butt those mundane tasks are. Then again if you are by yourself you will have to do those itsy bitsy things and it can be quite rewarding down the lane. When arguing with parents do realize that there would have been a time when your Dad/Mom would never argue with you even if you kept doing the same mistake. Let me give you a personal example. My Dad always forgets what time would it be in USA when he calls me. Now its a simple thing but it pi$$es me off at times. I mean if I can keep track of time in India and make my call accordingly, is it too much to ask for them to do so too?? And one day I was thinking about this. It suddenly dawned on me that when I was 2-3 years I would keep asking my Dad, "What is this", "Why did this happen" all the time. Even if he told me the answer to a situation I will still ask him the next day same questions on same topics. He never got irritated, but when the wheel came around I felt all the frustration in the world. xxx
fineleg Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 When arguing with parents do realize that there would have been a time when your Dad/Mom would never argue with you even if you kept doing the same mistake. Let me give you a personal example. My Dad always forgets what time would it be in USA when he calls me. Now its a simple thing but it pi$ me off at times. I mean if I can keep track of time in India and make my call accordingly, is it too much to ask for them to do so too?? And one day I was thinking about this. It suddenly dawned on me that when I was 2-3 years I would keep asking my Dad, "What is this", "Why did this happen" all the time. Even if he told me the answer to a situation I will still ask him the next day same questions on same topics. He never got irritated, but when the wheel came around I felt all the frustration in the world. xxx Lurker, You make a very good point. Many times when kids have repeated mistakes, parents have been patient. Kids are impatient on the other hand. Not generalizing, but what you say is right in many instances of parents-kids.
cochise Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Cricketics gave you the right advice Don. Listen to him.
beetle Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Any chance of taking a vacation all by yourself.It just might be the thing you and your parents need. Try reasoning with them. Are they the dominating"we are parents hence right" kind of patrents? Have you done anything in the recent past to aggravate the situation? The best solution is to not respond with they are going at you. But once things are peace ful then try to talk to them. Let them know how the constant bickerings are effecting you and ask them if it was worrying them too.
fineleg Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Don - what is the argument about (late at night, you have to be home by certain time, or should not talk to gals, or what is the argument about?) You can compromise halfway...be home by reasonable time or inform them before going to gals place etc. Some compromise.
Don Posted March 13, 2008 Author Posted March 13, 2008 Hey guys thanks for the replies some really helpful advice there! We actually fight over extremely small things, its absoutely unbelivable but its true.there is definatley we are parents hence right sorta attitude which actually drives me crazy. but i think i m gonna try and take it on the chin.I am going to try and mellow down a bit actually like lurker said and show some paitence when called for.thats all i can do. i m definatley going to have the vacation by myself cause they are going to India and am stayin in scotland so that should help a bit.
Desi Cartman Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Parents have few rights (1) Right to be respected and obeyed (2) Right to scold and rebuke - They love us , don't they .. (3) Right to be looked after - As they looked after us when we were small kids.So return it to them by looking after them ... Imagine mother (some times Dad) used to clean our shits , holding our hands when we took the first step. Now when they r getting older how can he leave them . (4) Right to be helped - help them financially , remember those days when Mama used to give extra Pocket money hiding it from Papa. (5) Right to kind words/good behavior - remember those days when u used to ask silly questions as a child , sometimes asking something constantly, still parents wouldn't get frustrated so why do we get frustrated and behave badly when we are asked few questions... Mother and Father are the best gift from GOD ..... believe me ask those who have lost both or either one of them. Sry Mate if I have started becoming a bit of a Philosopher but its a fact. Good post .. u make me senti ... im missing ma and papa !
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