Pakistan Is A Team of Glorious Uncertainties

[Dhondy]

I fail to understand how a country with such a proud cricketing reputation have subsided themselves to accept such pitiful levels of mediocrity time and time again and become everybody's favorite whipping boys in the process. PCB officials have been hired, fired and rehired in a revolving door policy with such infantile juvenalism. These actions have been spun, weaved, respun and conveniently masquarded as an overhaul aimed to bring, well, as they put it, "Pakistan cricket back from brink". Yet, I ask you, since the diasaster of the 2007 world cup where every Tom, Dick and Harry seemed to be hired and fired from left, right and centre, can you think of any one official, past or present, legend or cheat, that has provided a glimmer of hope that lessons have been learnt from past failures ?

Cracking stuff. I'll give you another example of their inept officialdom, Sree. Do you remember Ehsan Mani, esq, who was head honcho of the ICC for a few years? While the guy was in office, he made lots of reasonable noises, cut ribbons, had halaal sonpapri with Indian officials and so on. The moment he left office, he transformed into an ogre. Nowadays, his favourite pastime is India bashing. He has a massive chip on his shoulder about India conspiring with the other big nations to marginalise Pakistan in the FTP, and thus, in general, trying to bring Pakistan cricket and everybody who lives off it to a swift end. He's made several press statements to this effect, the pent up years when he could not engage in India baiting while in office, now coming out in a fusillade of bad tempered diarrhoea. The man obviously has no appreciation of the fact that the BCCI is first and foremost a business organisation and then an Indian body. If it was upto that lot, India would play Pakistan ad infinitum until Dhoni's son was vying unsuccessfully to graduate, let alone his dad. He's also forgotten how BCCI supported PCB in their hour of need, when nobody would as much as give them loose change. No, he wouldn't let minor truths like that get in way of a spot of constitutional- good ole fashioned India bashing to gain favour with his compatriots and perhaps wiggle into office at the PCB.

[patriot]

I am totally enjoying this " demise" of Pakistani cricket , may allah further sink them into abyss. Pak fans and cricketers left no stone unturned in mocking Indian cricket when we had a team comprising the likes of Saba Karim , Kanitkar, Amey Khurasiya et al...now its payback time. MY BIGGEST CONCERN IS THE MISCHIEF PAKISTAN WILL BE UPTO COME THE 2011 WORLD CUP. Make no mistake about it - Pakistan will do whatever it takes, using its rogue agents to create a terrorist incident in either of the host countries ( Bangladesh, I feel is most vulnerable).

[nballa]

two consecutive lowest totals against a team without its main bowlers is pretty embarrassing.

[Dhondy]

And there goes Sid Monga on Cricinfo even as we speak, reverting to type, "Enigmatic Pakistan Confound Again". What on earth is enigmatic about a bunch of players who would make a schoolboy side blush with shame? A nursery XI would fancy chasing 80 odd with eight wickets in the hutch, but not this lot. Where does enigma, riddle, and various mysterious annotations come in? Sometimes I cannot fathom these unquenchable romantic notions of cricket writers. Call a spade a spade, a wart a wart, don't glorify defeat.

[patriot]

Dhondyji, I guess the enigma is that they were only recently crowned World Champions. :giggle:

[Anonymous]

Yes folks, if you didn''t already know that, it's time to sit back and savour the various pie sized glories popping out of the lean and mean Pakistan cricket machine. Bowled out for 117 from 72 for 2. Bowled out for 90 on a pitch where even BD had scored 188 in their first innings. Against an attack lacking Murali, Vaas & Malinga. Glorious as it gets, really. The raw talent leaves you gasping for breath. Waft outside the off to a veritable pie. No problem, Akmal has it covered. An elegant waft straight to point- it's Yousufbhai's day. Take digs at one of the greatest spinners ever, after scoring 300 on a billiard table of a pitch and then be exposed not once or twice, but thrice against the moving ball delivered by a journeyman- that's Younis Khan for you. Impressive. This after their board had berated, cajoled and threatened every other side in the world for daring not to put their lives at risk, tore up the FTP, and arranged for six Tests in a green, green land against the home team and Australia, both of which sides have white washed them 3-0 in the not too distant past. I take my hats off to Pakistani fans. They have enormous capacity for punishment. To waste days, months and years discussing this drivel, to give up their day jobs and become "jounalists", asking mega-irritating questions in pigeon English at press conferences, to deliver commentary in a squeaky, hair-raisingly infantile voice that sets blood pressures soaring, you have to have an almost indefatiguable optimism, or an almost inhuman level of self delusion, ignoring reality looking at you flush in the face and smashing your nose to a pancake. Glorious. Let's sit back and applaud their well rounded record of being whitewashed by all comers. At this rate, there will be so many coats that a polar explorer would look positively skimpily dressed in comparison.

Dhondy , u seem to be spending quality time at our Padosi's..:haha::haha: Pakistan-the team to beat Lol these guys are so dumb that they pawn themselves with hilarious regularity.. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[Dhondy]

Misbah clininging to glorious once in a lifetime memories as well, on the same website, ""Try to bowl them out quickly tomorrow. And then hopefully play like we did in Karachi and have a big score." You see guys? For evermore, we have given them a tonic to invigorate them, even in the depths of their deepest despair. Doesn't matter that their asses are being auctioned off on the marketplace for ha'penny short of a holed dime, they will cling to memories of that match. Elixir. Provided by us.

[rahuliverpool]

Cracking stuff. I'll give you another example of their inept officialdom, Sree. Do you remember Ehsan Mani, esq, who was head honcho of the ICC for a few years? While the guy was in office, he made lots of reasonable noises, cut ribbons, had halaal sonpapri with Indian officials and so on. The moment he left office, he transformed into an ogre. Nowadays, his favourite pastime is India bashing. He has a massive chip on his shoulder about India conspiring with the other big nations to marginalise Pakistan in the FTP, and thus, in general, trying to bring Pakistan cricket and everybody who lives off it to a swift end. He's made several press statements to this effect, the pent up years when he could not engage in India baiting while in office, now coming out in a fusillade of bad tempered diarrhoea. The man obviously has no appreciation of the fact that the BCCI is first and foremost a business organisation and then an Indian body. If it was upto that lot, India would play Pakistan ad infinitum until Dhoni's son was vying unsuccessfully to graduate, let alone his dad. He's also forgotten how BCCI supported PCB in their hour of need, when nobody would as much as give them loose change. No, he wouldn't let minor truths like that get in way of a spot of constitutional- good ole fashioned India bashing to gain favour with his compatriots and perhaps wiggle into office at the PCB.

:hysterical::hysterical: Brilliant read, Dhondy. This article has really left me in a state of unparalleled amusement and hysteria ! I could not agree with you more! The same lot, a few weeks back were asking for a pay hike for the next IPL!

[Mr. Wicket]

And there goes Sid Monga on Cricinfo even as we speak, reverting to type, "Enigmatic Pakistan Confound Again". What on earth is enigmatic about a bunch of players who would make a schoolboy side blush with shame? A nursery XI would fancy chasing 80 odd with eight wickets in the hutch, but not this lot. Where does enigma, riddle, and various mysterious annotations come in? Sometimes I cannot fathom these unquenchable romantic notions of cricket writers. Call a spade a spade, a wart a wart, don't glorify defeat.

CI writing is literally like paint by numbers stuff. Lazy, boring writing with the same handful of adjectives and verbs every piece. Writing about Pakistan? Watch the words enigmatic, mercurial, inconsistent, etc show up right away in the title. Pietersen? Everything is 'outrageous, explosive, dominant, thrilling', just as any knock from Tendulkar these days is calculating or crafty. Just be glad that Dileep Premachandran isn't around to tell us about every coruscating drive and coruscating cut of Sehwag's!

[Dhondy]

:hysterical::hysterical: Brilliant read' date=' Dhondy. This article has really left me in a state of unparalleled amusement and hysteria ! I could not agree with you more! The same lot, a few weeks back were asking for a pay hike for the next IPL![/quote'] Yes, supreme irony. That's what I meant about the marketplace. Indian filmstars are nothing if not astute businessmen. There's a reason why you could have bid for six of this lot with the money paid for Mashrafe Mortaza.

[EnterTheVoid]

I'll give you another example of their inept officialdom, Sree. Do you remember Ehsan Mani, esq, who was head honcho of the ICC for a few years? While the guy was in office, he made lots of reasonable noises, cut ribbons, had halaal sonpapri with Indian officials and so on. The moment he left office, he transformed into an ogre. Nowadays, his favourite pastime is India bashing. He has a massive chip on his shoulder about India conspiring with the other big nations to marginalise Pakistan in the FTP, and thus, in general, trying to bring Pakistan cricket and everybody who lives off it to a swift end. He's made several press statements to this effect, the pent up years when he could not engage in India baiting while in office, now coming out in a fusillade of bad tempered diarrhoea.

Dhondy, The example you've provided serves to re enforce the belief that the PCB is an organization that does not understand, let alone appreciate, the value of true friendship; an organization that lacks the basics of decency, courtesy and respect and simply views India as its baby sitter, whose sole purpose is to change their diapers, refill their milk bottle, buy new pacifiers etc. I fail to understand why Pakistan feels that India has a moral responsibility to help them, even if it comes at the detriment of India. Do you remember the time when India sent their team to the Asia Cup simply to illustrate that Pakistan was safe to tour ? The Indian team was practically worked to death over the back - to - back meaningless ODI matches played in front of empty stadiums. And how are India repaid for their gratitude ? India was blamed for not doing enough to help Pakistan. Its not just Mani, all of their supposed legends, have conveniently converted their idle time, and I have a sneaking suspicion they'll continue to do so for as long as they have no cricket at home (nothing to do, you see :D), into providing anti - Indian soundbytes to their media. Yet, these are the first to expect India to help, giving media releases to the effect of "We were relying on India", "India should have done more", "India could've been more pro active" etc. P.S. I loved the halal soonpapdi bit :haha:

[patriot]

Dhondyji, Please, Please give us your vishesh tippani on the hypocritcial b@$tard that Imran Khan is. He is afterall a the most precious jewel in the crown of Pakistan cricket.

[flamy]

I take my hats off to Pakistani fans. They have enormous capacity for punishment. To waste days, months and years discussing this drivel, to give up their day jobs and become "jounalists", asking mega-irritating questions in pigeon English at press conferences, to deliver commentary in a squeaky, hair-raisingly infantile voice that sets blood pressures soaring, you have to have an almost indefatiguable optimism, or an almost inhuman level of self delusion, ignoring reality looking at you flush in the face and smashing your nose to a pancake.

omg! :cantstop: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[Dhondy]

CI writing is literally like paint by numbers stuff. Lazy, boring writing with the same handful of adjectives and verbs every piece. Writing about Pakistan? Watch the words enigmatic, mercurial, inconsistent, etc show up right away in the title. Pietersen? Everything is 'outrageous, explosive, dominant, thrilling', just as any knock from Tendulkar these days is calculating or crafty. Just be glad that Dileep Premachandran isn't around to tell us about every coruscating drive and coruscating cut of Sehwag's!

Accurate. They sometimes remind me of the motley "Indian" restaurants we have here in the UK. It doesn't matter if you order chicken bhuna, karahi, balti or madras- you are going to get the one ubiquitous curry sauce that goes with everything. Expecting originality from CI writers is pretty much in the same league.

[Laaloo]

Damn, I just found out now who Dhondy's talking about. :hysterical::hysterical:B->

[flamy]

Accurate. They sometimes remind me of the motley "Indian" restaurants we have here in the UK. It doesn't matter if you order chicken bhuna' date=' karahi, balti or madras- you are going to get the one ubiquitous curry sauce that goes with everything. Expecting originality from CI writers is pretty much in the same league.[/quote'] how true! This is an epic thread. Now I know why everyone is :crazy4: abt Dhondy.

[jf1gp_1]

they are neither uncertain nor unpredictable, i know exactly what they are going to do. Afridi will be recalled to test side which will make them a great side all over again, there you go problem solved

[Kohum]

Damn' date=' I just found out now who Dhondy's talking about. :hysterical::hysterical:B->[/quote'] who who ?? OS ?

[h4te]

Zubin, you'll think I am really sad, but I actually watched one of those PukeP bosses who fancies himself as a journo on a Pakistani TV channel, being interviewed by a chap whose main area of expertise was wrestling. I kid you not, it was the most enjoyable interview I've ever watched. As our wannabe journo friend valiantly tried to steer the conversation to cricket in his very thick Brummie accent, the interviewer kept bringing up concepts such as "akhara", "chit..pat", and various holds around the neck. There was another bloke alongside him who had played a couple of matches for Pakistan and promptly taken up coaching in England, no doubt to wreck generations of Pommie cricketers. That fella wisely kept his counsel and didn't speak much. Our Brummie friend expostulated, explained, and expanded with self importance until he was the size of a balloon carrying Sir Richard Branson into space. It was quite enjoyable really.

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: top stuff!! :two_thumbs_up:

[Ram]

Most of Pakistani cricket fans know only 3 groups of words - 'BEAAST', 'PHAAAST' and 'We lost, AGAIN'. If you bar them from using these set of words, half of them would be left speechless.