punjabiplaya Posted September 27, 2014 Author Posted September 27, 2014 I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!" :--D
punjabiplaya Posted September 30, 2014 Author Posted September 30, 2014 Q. What did the woman say to her swimming instructor? A. "Will I really drown if you take your finger out?" :haha:
FischerTal Posted September 30, 2014 Posted September 30, 2014 Q. What did the woman say to her swimming instructor? A. "Will I really drown if you take your finger out?" :haha: :hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted September 30, 2014 Author Posted September 30, 2014 A guy with a black eye walks into a bar and orders a triple bourbon. The bartender says "Having a tough day, huh?" The guy says "Yeah. My wife and I were doing the dishes and she turned to me and said 'Why don't we ever make love like in the movies?' So I bent her over the kitchen table, yanked her pants down and rammed it in. I shag*ed her and slapped her on the ass as I pummeled her. Then I pulled it out, turned her around and blew my load all over her face." The bartender said "Wow! But what's up with the black eye? "Turns out we watch different movies."
punjabiplaya Posted September 30, 2014 Author Posted September 30, 2014 What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging
punjabiplaya Posted September 30, 2014 Author Posted September 30, 2014 Abdul told his wife to find him the best penis enlargement product... so she gave him a magnifying glass! :hysterical::hysterical:
Laaloo Posted September 30, 2014 Posted September 30, 2014 Abdul told his wife to find him the best penis enlargement product... so she gave him a magnifying glass! :hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Lord Posted October 1, 2014 Posted October 1, 2014 _nb-jtcLXzY :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted October 1, 2014 Author Posted October 1, 2014 "Why so down john?" "I caught my wife sleeping with another man." "I know how it feels." "You do?" "Yeah, she's good in bed." :--D
Kalia_Test Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 "Why so down john Abdul?" "I caught my wife sleeping with another man." "I know how it feels." "You do?" "Yeah, she's good in bed." :--D Sounds better now
punjabiplaya Posted October 2, 2014 Author Posted October 2, 2014 I was at the airport earlier when I heard one paki tell his mate he'd 'See him on the other side'. Surely they could have gone on the same flight?? :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted October 2, 2014 Author Posted October 2, 2014 3 reasons why you should get a $100 bill tattooed onto your co*k 1. You can play with your money. 2. You can watch your money grow. 3. Every woman loves to blow money.
punjabiplaya Posted October 2, 2014 Author Posted October 2, 2014 Q. What does oral sex with an ugly women and rock climbing have in common? A. They‘re both more enjoyable if you don’t look down :two_thumbs_up:
punjabiplaya Posted October 2, 2014 Author Posted October 2, 2014 An 80yr old couple were seen shagging furiously up against a fence. For 40 mins they shagged like Bast*rds. Arms and legs going everywhere until they fell to the floor. Christ she said “you didnt Feck Me like that 50yrs ago! To which the old man replied “50 yrs ago that fence Wasnt Fecking electric! :cantstop:
velu Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Once upon a time there lived a King. The King had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS.. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; Metal, Wood, Stone, Anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The King despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the King, 'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.' The King was overjoyed and came up with a plan. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the King's wealth... THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE. The first brought a sword of the finest steel. But alas, when the Princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly . The second prince brought diamonds. He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the Princess touched them, they melted. He too was sent away disappointed. The third prince approached. He told the Princess, 'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.' The Princess did as she was told, though she turned red . She felt something hard. She held it in her hand. And it did not melt!!! The King was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. And the third Prince married the Princess and they both lived happily ever after. Question: What was in the Prince's pants? Cadbury's 5 Star bar of course. It melts in your mouth, not in your hand. What were you thinking??
punjabiplaya Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 My girlfriend did something last night with her mouth that all men love... She shut it... :--D
punjabiplaya Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 I heard a rumour that for Jeremy Clarkson's next stunt, he plans to drive round Bradford in a Porche with the number plate J1HAD :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted October 8, 2014 Author Posted October 8, 2014 Boy: "Do you want to play the fire engine game?" Girl: "How do you play that?" Boy: "My fingers are the fire engine and I drive up your legs. You say 'Red light!' when you want me to stop." Girl: "Okay, let's play." After a few seconds... Girl: "Red light!" Boy: "Fire engines don't stop for red lights."
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