maniac Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Don't want to make fun of the OP's situation but shouldn't OP rather than thinking that why someone who have been with him long enough backstabbed him, think about if wasn't that the reason they hung around with him for so long in the first place :dontknow:
Stuge Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 +1 But usually one would discuss problems with close friends.. But his close friend is the problem here :cantstop: NOw thats a Tricky situtation :blink:
Stuge Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 op to gayab ho gaya :nervous: Too much of leg pulling plus some funny advice is the reason of it :agree: @sabby :wassup with your avatar o-O :cantstop:
indiaregulator Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 About the whole incident i don't think there is any thumb rule for these kind of scenarios. Dynamics change between person to person. It can cause real low self esteem. You know your girl friend since she was 14. Your friend also knew her since she was 14 i take it. So you must have been buddies for very long time. Also you might be wondering "how long was it going on".. "is it only him or someone else as well". Lot of posters suggest a clean break. But i think it is very very hard to do if you three are really best buddies and they are basically good and they made a mistake on a moment of weakness. Mind if i ask you.. how old are you and your friends? Me and my best friend are 22. She's 21. What absolutely destroys me is the fact that she was the most outwardly innocent girl I've ever met. The four of us (Us three + her best friend), are all really close knit. or rather were.) When I went out with her (she was 18) she hadn't had a boyfriend before and was a virgin. We never did anything until she was 19 anyway, at her insistence. We've had breaks before, the longest for 3 months due to problems such as me going to China for extended periods of time and her being really busy due to her studies. But during those periods there had been nobody else, (apart from when I had this fixation with this girl for about 2 months but I got over that and it turned out she was nothing more than a rebound. I never did anything either) But then this happens and I'm just astounded. With regards to him, he's not the type to sleep around either. He's had one girlfriend before and that was it. He's quite, studious, not very outgoing and shy around new people. He got 3A*'s at A level and goes to Imperial College London with me. We're both studying the same course aswell. He spends most days camped in the Library and hardly ever goes out. I'm just so surprised and shocked. My faith in people is shattered to be honest.. I never expected it out of them two. Anyone else in the world who I knew I would believe, not them two, never them two.
vvvslaxman Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Me and my best friend are 22. She's 21. What absolutely destroys me is the fact that she was the most outwardly innocent girl I've ever met. The four of us (Us three + her best friend), are all really close knit. or rather were.) When I went out with her (she was 18) she hadn't had a boyfriend before and was a virgin. We never did anything until she was 19 anyway, at her insistence. We've had breaks before, the longest for 3 months due to problems such as me going to China for extended periods of time and her being really busy due to her studies. But during those periods there had been nobody else, (apart from when I had this fixation with this girl for about 2 months but I got over that and it turned out she was nothing more than a rebound. I never did anything either) But then this happens and I'm just astounded. With regards to him, he's not the type to sleep around either. He's had one girlfriend before and that was it. He's quite, studious, not very outgoing and shy around new people. He got 3A*'s at A level and goes to Imperial College London with me. We're both studying the same course aswell. He spends most days camped in the Library and hardly ever goes out. I'm just so surprised and shocked. My faith in people is shattered to be honest.. I never expected it out of them two. Anyone else in the world who I knew I would believe, not them two, never them two. What is your decision. Is she asking for forgiveness? I have personally seen guys and girls losing it when the right opportunity presents itself. One of my relative is highly protective about his wife despite she is like a sister to me. He would make up a story that how another relative tried to flirt with his wife and how he got pissed off at that. He himself was a casanova kind of guy. But he was protective about his wife. It is not like he doesn't trust his wife. But being a casanova himself he knew when right buttons are pushed at the right moment even the goody goody girls can be coerced into doing things. So he always maintains a protective layer around his wife. Give yourself some time time will heal everything. You will have clearer thinking once the weight is off. It is a decision only you can make. Forum friends like us won't have every single detail about your dynamics with your friends. So you will only get generic advice like "dump her and your friend. If you have any other friend or sister other than your close friend you can share with them and make a decision.
vvvslaxman Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 http://news.taaza.com/entertainment/1028536-pattinson-and-stewart-have-romantic-dinner-date.html
indiaregulator Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 I've not spoken to her about it yet. I've not tried to contact her she's not tried to contact me for the past few days. I've been reclused pretty much, doing only what I must do.
akshayxyz Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Me and my best friend are 22. She's 21. What absolutely destroys me is the fact that she was the most outwardly innocent girl I've ever met. The four of us (Us three + her best friend), are all really close knit. or rather were.) When I went out with her (she was 18) she hadn't had a boyfriend before and was a virgin. We never did anything until she was 19 anyway, at her insistence. We've had breaks before, the longest for 3 months due to problems such as me going to China for extended periods of time and her being really busy due to her studies. But during those periods there had been nobody else, (apart from when I had this fixation with this girl for about 2 months but I got over that and it turned out she was nothing more than a rebound. I never did anything either) But then this happens and I'm just astounded. With regards to him, he's not the type to sleep around either. He's had one girlfriend before and that was it. He's quite, studious, not very outgoing and shy around new people. He got 3A*'s at A level and goes to Imperial College London with me. We're both studying the same course aswell. He spends most days camped in the Library and hardly ever goes out. I'm just so surprised and shocked. My faith in people is shattered to be honest.. I never expected it out of them two. Anyone else in the world who I knew I would believe, not them two, never them two. I may sound rude - but stop crying (foul) and move on. Things just happened,....the very fact that your 'bestest' friends confessed to you, can mean only one thing - may be she secretly liked him (most likely mutual?), and if you are lukcy may be its just a prank.. so, assuming first is true, they wanted you to know ( get hurt or whatever), and move out of the way... Or, if it was just a random mistake encounter, and they are being honest - then you must appreciate their honesty. As both of them could have easily hidden the fact from you, and you would have never known. In either case, its only you who is acting like a kid...either they want you out of their way, or expect you to be as mature and courageous as they are... To be very honest - I can see they are much more mature than you.
punjabi_khota Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Arre dude you are too young. Plenty to see in life, take it in your stride, brood for a few months, pick yourself up and move on. As they say, the number of fish in pond tends to infinity. These teenage affairs seem to be really big deal when they happen, but in hindsight, seem trivial. Plenty of people have bad experiences with their first loves etc.
ravishingravi Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Arre dude you are too young. Plenty to see in life, take it in your stride, brood for a few months, pick yourself up and move on. As they say, the number of fish in pond tends to infinity. These teenage affairs seem to be really big deal when they happen, but in hindsight, seem trivial. Plenty of people have bad experiences with their first loves etc. Words of wisdom.
vvvslaxman Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 I've not spoken to her about it yet. I've not tried to contact her she's not tried to contact me for the past few days. I've been reclused pretty much, doing only what I must do. Is it possible that this thing never happened?
indiaregulator Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 I may sound rude - but stop crying (foul) and move on. Things just happened,....the very fact that your 'bestest' friends confessed to you, can mean only one thing - may be she secretly liked him (most likely mutual?), and if you are lukcy may be its just a prank.. so, assuming first is true, they wanted you to know ( get hurt or whatever), and move out of the way... Or, if it was just a random mistake encounter, and they are being honest - then you must appreciate their honesty. As both of them could have easily hidden the fact from you, and you would have never known. In either case, its only you who is acting like a kid...either they want you out of their way, or expect you to be as mature and courageous as they are... To be very honest - I can see they are much more mature than you. How the ***** am I acting like a kid?
indiaregulator Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 Is it possible that this thing never happened? Well why the hell would my best friend call me midday telling me he needed to urgently see me and then upon meeting him sorrowfully admit to me what happened. To be honest she's pissing me off more than him. She's been tweeting stuff and her posts on facebook are as if nothing had *****ing happened. What's more my brother tweeted her asking how was everything going and she replied it was all good blah blah blah and all that bullcrap. Needless to say I havn't told my brother what she's done yet.
Crookbond Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 I am passively reading this thread and must confess I have the same question as vvs. Something does not seem right. First, your best friend and not your GF confesses about infidelity. Next, she does not contact you for some time. So, I assum she is in constant touch with your friend. Why not discuss this with you?
indiaregulator Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 Well, actually she did text me but I didn't respond. The text in question was 2 days after it happened. I don't know how on earth she had the gall to send what she did. "Can you pick me up from lec theat? 30 min walk :( xxx"
Crookbond Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Are you sure she's not playing both of you? If she does not want to talk, why don't you call her and take her up for a discussion and clear the air.
indiaregulator Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 What I think has happened to be honest is that my mate hasn't told her he told me.
Crookbond Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Well, actually she did text me but I didn't respond. The text in question was 2 days after it happened. I don't know how on earth she had the gall to send what she did. "Can you pick me up from lec theat? 30 min walk :( xxx" Dude, Have a discussion with her and let her put all the cards on the table. Wake up!
indiaregulator Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 Alright. I'll ring her now then. Actually, she's at work now I think so I'll text her.
Crookbond Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 What I think has happened to be honest is that my mate hasn't told her he told me. :facepalm: I am really sorry for your situation mate. I think you should have a frank discussion with both of them separately. It will be tough in the short run but benefit you in the long run.
Recommended Posts