Indo-Pak pre-match trolling thread

[FischerTal]

Chokers ka naam, sar zameen e pakistan pakistan's batsmen require 2 innings of 100 overs total to reach the number of runs Dhawan single-handedly has amassed in this tournament. ATG Junaid average 81 for CT :hehe: with ER of 5.17 :hehe:

[Sarkar]

Pakistan you have never won a champions trophy never will in the history of champions trophy

[adi B]

Pakistan you have never won a champions trophy never will in the history of champions trophy

aww :((

[Sachin=GOD]

Pre Match discussion by Indian Team : पाकिस्तान से मैच की पूर्वसंध्या पर भारतीय टीम मीटिंग का विवरण भारत इंग्लेंड मे हो रही चैम्पियंस ट्रोफी के सेमी फाइनल मे पहुँच चुका है लेकिन अभी उनका एक ग्रुप मैच बाकी है, पाकिस्तान के विरुद्ध. इसी मैच से एक दिन पहले धोनी ने एक टीम मीटिंग बुला कर खिलाड़ियों की तैयारी का जायज़ा लिया. इसी टीम मीटिंग को हमारे पत्रकार ने रेकॉर्ड कर लिया. पेश है इस मीटिंग का विस्तृत विवरण: धोनी: सेमी फाइनल मे तो पहुँच गए लेकिन फिर भी कल जीतना बहुत ज़रूरी है, पाकिस्तान से हार गए तो नाक कट जाएगी. रैना: चिंता ना कर माही, देख लेंगे इनको भी! कोहली: तू बच के रहना रैना, तेरे Nephew tweet को भूले नहीं हैं अभी तक वो.. उस सात फुट वाले की आम बॉल भी बाऊंसर लगेगी तुझे.. रैना: यार एक तो तुम ये घड़ी घड़ी बाऊंसर बोल बोल कर मेरी मत फाड़ा करो.. धवन जट्ट, यार तू उस सात फुट को देख लेना, बाकी को मैं देख लूँगा… धवन: बाऊंसर तो वहाब भी अच्छी मारता है… रैना: अच्छा, चल यार उसे रोहित तू देख लियो, बाकी बॉलर्स को मैं नहीं छोड़ूँगा… रोहित: लेकिन जुनैद की बॉल बड़ी स्विंग होती है.. रैना: उसे तो कोहली देख लेगा, क्यों चीकू? बाकी सब को मैं देख लूँगा… कोहली: अबे तो तू क्या अजमल के खिलाफ रन बनाएगा? वो तो अच्छे अच्छों का पजामा गीला कर देता है! रैना: अरे उसके लिए तो माही है ना, धोनी पाजी उसे देख लेना बाकी मुझ पे छोड़ देना… कोहली: साले बचा कौन? हफ़ीज़ को पीटेगा? रैना: उसमे भी थोड़ा सा लोचा है, वो उल्टे हाथ वालों को अच्छी फेंकता है, कार्तिक यार उसको तू देख लियो, बाकी सब मुझ पे छोड़ दो… धोनी: साला इसने किसी बॉलर का कुछ नहीं करना, सिर्फ़ सानिया का गुस्सा निकालना है मलिक पे! रैना: क्या माही, वो तो पुरानी बात हो गई, अब ऐसा कुछ नहीं है… धोनी: अच्छा भक्चोदी बंद करो और ध्यान से सोचो उस ऊँचे कद वाले का क्या करना है शुरू में.. कोहली: रोहित की जगह जड्डू को उपर भेज दे, सर जडेजा से ऊँचा कद है क्या किसी का क्रिकेट में? धोनी: साला मैने कहा भक्चोदी बंद करो और तुमने अब सर की लेनी शुरू कर दी. वैसे जड्डू इंग्लेंड तो आए ही हुए हैं, रानी से अपना सर का टाइटल ही ले जा! कोहली: अरे सर जडेजा तो इंग्लेंड की रानी को सर का टाइटल दे दें, वो क्या इन्हे देगी? जडेजा: साला मैं इसी लिए टीम मीटिंग मे नहीं आता, तुम्हे सिवाय बकवास के तो कुछ करना नहीं होता.. धोनी कुछ ज़रूरी है तो बता वरना मैं अपनी मूँछों को च्वयन्प्राश खिलाने जा रहा हूँ.. धवन से लंबी करनी हैं मुझे… धोनी: अरे थोड़ी देर बैठा रह, वो फ्लेचर पूछता है फिर मुझसे कि वो क्यूँ चला गया.. रोहित: माही वैसे ये फ्लेचर पूछता नहीं कि तुम हिन्दी मे क्या डिसकस करते रहते हो? धोनी: पूछता है, बोल देता हूँ कि BCCI ने मना कर रखा है कुछ बताने से! कोहली: वो मान जाता है? धोनी: जब पूरा भारतीय मीडीया मान जाता है कि मेरा मुँह BCCI ने ही बंद कर रखा है तो ये क्यों नहीं मानेगा!? http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2013/06/14/indian-meeting-before-pakistan-match/

[dabbalzenith]

It should be a close contest but I've doubt. India need to maul Pakistan to avenge their series defeat in Jan'13. India WILL maul Pakistan.

[SLICKR392]

^

[JaFanatic]

Pakistan you have never won a champions trophy never will in the history of champions trophy

:cantstop:

[bulbul]

First time not much interested in a Indo-Pak match.

[JaFanatic]

It should be a close contest but I've doubt. India need to maul Pakistan to avenge their series defeat in Jan'13. India WILL maul Pakistan.

we played a second string team so that doesn matter

[JaFanatic]

First time not much interested in a Indo-Pak match.

this dead rubber :asleep:

[FischerTal]

the only man who can save Pakistan

[adi B]

First time not much interested in a Indo-Pak match.

no mate,am always excited and ready for indopak match :yay:

[Sachin=GOD]

Pakistan players are mentally disturbed: Shoaib Akhtar

Karachi: Continuing his attack on the country's cricket set-up, Pakistan's former fast bowler Shoaib Akhtar has described most of the members in the national team as "mentally disturbed". "Most of the players do not perform on the field, why? Because they're mentally disturbed. They have a lot of fears; take those fears away, that is the coach's job, it is not to teach the game," Akhtar said. He said that Pakistan cricket is currently going through its "darkest era". In a scathing attack, in the aftermath of the side's disappointing performance at the ICC Champions Trophy, Akhtar blamed poor coaching for the side's batting woes. He said the Pakistan team needs a new coach, who can "unite the players in the dressing room". "I think this is the darkest era of our cricket and I think if we need to take positives from the Champions Trophy we should learn from South Africa who survived isolation in the apartheid era and have emerged as a top team in the world," he said. "Pakistan needs to learn from them because we are also in a similar position as there is no international team coming to Pakistan since 2009. But we are still in a better position than them in the sense that we are still playing our matches at neutral venues," he was quoted as saying by Express Tribune. He said that the fact that Pakistan have been bowled out without playing the full 50 overs in seven of their last 12 ODIs is a discouraging sign. Akhtar however defended captain Misbah-ul-Haq who has come under fire for his slow batting and captaincy. He said Misbah can't be blamed because no one is doing consistently well in the team's batting line-up. "He has no choice but to adopt a conservative and safety-first approach due to the poor performance of his colleagues." The former speedster said Pakistan's batting woes were a result of poor coaching at the grass-root levels. "Pakistan has always been able to produce some of the world's greatest players. The greatest, however, have not coached the under-19 and the under-16 teams where they can be matured as a batsman. "By those ages you should have maturity as a batsman. The best age is 15, if you tell them how to play the game and rotate the strike, that's where real coaching comes into play. I would say that there is a huge gap in that area." Akhtar also suggested Tom Moody's name as a possible solution to Pakistan's ongoing problems. "Pakistan should go for Tom Moody. He is the only man who can bring the match-winning attitude into the team. He is fantastic, rugged, a brilliant manager, brilliant motivator and accommodator and he knows how to handle guys." Akhtar also lashed out at national team's wicketkeeper Kamran Akmal. "Kamran should be dropped for the match (against India) and the management must play an extra batsman who can also keep. I think Asad Shafiq should be given a chance," he told Geo News. "Everyone knows the sort of keeping that Kamran Akmal does. I think I can also keep like that," he said. "The unfortunate part is that for the last 10 years, Pakistan has been looking for a good keeper who can also bat well," he said.

http://ibnlive.in.com/news/pakistan-players-are-mentally-disturbed-shoaib-akhtar/398868-78.html Akhtar calling others mentally disturbed

[bulbul]

Pakistan players are mentally disturbed: Shoaib Akhtar http://ibnlive.in.com/news/pakistan-players-are-mentally-disturbed-shoaib-akhtar/398868-78.html Akhtar calling others mentally disturbed

Expert openion :giggle:

[coffee_rules]

Get some match predictions going... India 278/8 (Jadeja 56*) Pak -240/9 (Jadeja 2/59) or Pak 262/7 (Jadeja 3/49) India - 268/7 (Jadeja 43*)

[velu]

padosis want us to beat the shyte out of them , so that they can bring in new players :phehehe:

[Desi Cartman]

Pakistani fans are already on the way to the stadium, below are some pictures

[bulbul]

padosis want us to beat the shyte out of them ' date=' so that they can bring in new players :phehehe:[/quote'] I wish them best of luck :giggle:

[Desi Cartman]

Nothing to do with the match but this picture is epic

[JaFanatic]

Nothing to do with the match but this picture is epic

OMG :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: