A question of language- what would you choose ?

[CC1981]

Allright- my question is to all those here who don't speak Hindi as their mother tongue ( you will see why): Last night i had an interesting conversation with a desi friend : She is a Punjabi and she is going out with a French-Canadian guy and they just had a kid ( a beautiful boy). Her dilemma is what languages to teach her kids - English is obviously, a given and given that she and her beau are fairly intellectual/cultured types, they are interested in their future kids having a solid grounding in BOTH their parents's culture : he wants the kids to learn French on the side and she wants them to learn things about India too. Problem she is having, is decieding what Indian language to teach and what to forego. After talking to a lot of people, she is convinced ( and i am in agreement over this too) that anything more than 2 'foreign-ish' language (ie, a language the kid isnt going to encounter daily growing up, aka English) is too much of a burden to carry : I noticed the same when i was in grade 9/10 in India too : the few Mallus or Tamils or Gujjus i knew in Kolkata had a very tough time with Bengali (as third language) because they were saddled with learning 4 languages ( English,Hindi, their mother-tongue that they learnt at home plus bengali as 3rd language, which is/was compulsory in many Kolkata convent schools back in the day) and had an incredibly tough time learning Bengali and their hindi suffered as well due to too much of a linguistic workload. I must point out that this was not the case with the Marwari/Bihari/UP-ite students mostly, as they were also learning 3 languages like most of the Bong students and their performance in Bengali was no worse than the Bengali students' was in Hindi. Now, she is in dilemma, what to teach her kid : Punjabi or Hindi. Obviously, given that her family is Punjabi, i told her that learning Punjabi would be easier (kid would have more native speakers to practice with, aka nana/naani,etc) but she also has a valid point that Hindi is our 'rashtra-bhaasha' and inorder to have tangiable links to India, learning Hindi is a huge help- especially if she or her son in the future decieded to move back to India. Not to mention, the hindi-driven bollywood is the biggest single stream of Indian cultural avenue here and not knowing hindi would hamstring the kid out here ( here as in Vancouver), as he would be unable to enjoy most things Indian that are available (Culturally speaking). So my question is, what would you guys choose ? Assuming you guys were in the same shoes ( were married/having kids with a non-english speaking foreigner and you arnt a native hindi speaker, thus creating a 4 language scenario like above), would you guys go ' fawk it, its all bakwaas, English only!', leave it up to the kid later on in life , pick a 3 language solution (and if so, would you guys go with your mother tongue or hindi ?) or cram the kid with 4 languages and hope he survives/doesnt end up hating you guys ?? This question made me curious as i may end up in the same boat in the distant future ( my current gf is Mexican- Spanish speaker, I am a Bong who is fluent in Hindi and Bengali as well) and i am curious to see what you folks' responses would be like

[zubinpepsi]

Solid Grounding in culture... like wat having a baby before getting married?? :D .. dint know punjabi's have a different culture.. :-p well if were tht girl who has done the same thing as mentioned in the OP, i wudnt give a hoot abt the language and culture.. jus *** it.. live with english.. if im too much worried abt the culture i wudnt have had a baby br marriage.. ps.. but i like the way how u smartly inserted tht line thts tellin the ICFers that u have got a mexican GF... :D

[flamy]

^^ lol. english and telugu and hebrew. peaze.

[DomainK]

Children find it very easy to learn two languages: One that friends and neighbors speak, the language of the land they live in and another that their family speaks. In most cases the family speaks the same language as the rest of the society in some cases where they are migrants, there are two languages. A child should not be forced to learn another language. My maternal aunt married a Bengali and migrated there. Her children (my cousins) naturally found a lot of Oriya (we are Oriya) relatives. Even though Oriya was never spoken in their ()immediate) family, they learned Oriya very fast. No one asked them to learn it, they just did so that they could play and communicate with us whenever we visited them. But strangely, I could never learn Bengali, though I can partially understand when someone speaks that language. May be because by the time I was old enough to be able to talk and understand, all of my Bengali relatives spoke fluent Oriya and I never needed to learn Bengali. But the point I was making is that children naturally learn the languages spoken by family and friends. There is no need to burden them anymore.

[Ram]

So my question is, what would you guys choose ? Assuming you guys were in the same shoes ( were married/having kids with a non-english speaking foreigner and you arnt a native hindi speaker, thus creating a 4 language scenario like above), would you guys go ' fawk it, its all bakwaas, English only!', leave it up to the kid later on in life , pick a 3 language solution (and if so, would you guys go with your mother tongue or hindi ?) or cram the kid with 4 languages and hope he survives/doesnt end up hating you guys ??

If speaking fluent Hindi is the only way to stay connected in India, then I, as a citizen of India, have no chances of being connected to my country coz, my Hindi isnt the strongest. Bottom line: You dont need speak good Hindi to feel 'connected' to India anymore. English is more than sufficient. Besides that, If the kid learns Punjabi too, the situation only gets better.

[CC1981]

If speaking fluent Hindi is the only way to stay connected in India, then I, as a citizen of India, have no chances of being connected to my country coz, my Hindi isnt the strongest.

no, it is not the only way- but for a kid who's rarely gonna come to India (except for a visit lasting a month or two eveyr few years) in his growing up years, hands down the best way to understand India and stay connected to India is through hindi and the bollywood medium. Its far easier to find/do indian stuff in the west-culturally or otherwise, if its in Hindi than in any other language.

Besides that, If the kid learns Punjabi too, the situation only gets better.

*SIGH*...like i explained, the kid is not going to learn two indian languages...atleast, not unless he chooses to...so question is, to start him off, what language to pick...hindi or the mothertongue.

[Ram]

no' date=' it is not the only way- but for a kid who's rarely gonna come to India (except for a visit lasting a month or two eveyr few years) in his growing up years,[b'] hands down the best way to understand India and stay connected to India is through hindi and the bollywood medium. Its far easier to find/do indian stuff in the west-culturally or otherwise, if its in Hindi than in any other language.

You keep repeating this and I keep saying that a) I dont speak fluent Hindi b) I dont see Indian movies anymore, let alone Hindi movies. Am I not connected then? But, I get your point of the need someone who lives outside India, to know Hindi to get in tune with our country.

*SIGH*...like i explained' date=' the kid is not going to learn two indian languages...atleast, not unless he chooses to...so question is, to start him off, what language to pick...hindi or the mothertongue.[/quote'] Mother tongue, unequivocally. If the kid is going 'rarely' visit India, that too for a month or two every couple of years, English and mother-tongue is more than sufficient. After all, He/she is Canadian. I dont see that reason for him/her to get entrenched with Indian culture anyway.

[Rajiv]

Ask Jaya Bhadhuri

[ludhianvi]

Mother tongue (Punjabi in this case ) ofcourse. The kid will pick up Hindi when watching Bollywood movies anyways. There's a reason its called 'mother' tongue:tounge_smile:

[punjabi_khota]

FWIW, hindi and Punjabi are very similar languages, and if the kid picks up either of those at home, he will be relatively at ease when he grows up and is exposed to the other one. I would say go ahead with Punjabi since thats the mother tongue of the mom and she can probably teach it better to the kid.

[CC1981]

FWIW, hindi and Punjabi are very similar languages, and if the kid picks up either of those at home, he will be relatively at ease when he grows up and is exposed to the other one

This i agree on - I am fluent in Hindi and if i listen carefully (and the speaker speaks slowly), i can understand Punjabi somewhat- not in detail, but enough to know what they are talking about.

[fineleg]

To answer CC's original question: 1. Teach the kid English - helps in India as well 2. Teach the kid Punjabi - native language 3. French If some kids can handle a lot more, Hindi can be an option later on (dont burden too early), else forget it.

[beetle]

Children can easily handle 3-4 languages without too much confusion.I know a child(my one time neighbour)who was learning Malayalam from her mum,english at play schooland from father ,Hindi from me(her neighbour)and a bit of kannada from the maid(not very well ). If I were in her place ...I would teach English,French and hindi .The child could learn a bit of Punjabi on trips to punjab .Let the grandparents also teach something.:--D

[Aditi]

English & Gujarati (mother tongue) first and foremost. Then later on teach Hindi & French/Spanish. I never learned Hindi formally, just picked it up from listening to people around me and yes, Bollywood movies and songs helped a lot.

[Rajiv]

English & Gujarati (mother tongue) first and foremost. Then later on teach Hindi & French/Spanish. I never learned Hindi formally' date= just picked it up from listening to people around me and yes, Bollywood movies and songs helped a lot.

:omg_smile: But u lived in Mumbai right ---------------- As for Lingo: English in Canada In India - English, hindi

[Aditi]

:omg_smile: But u lived in Mumbai right

Yah but I was exempted from taking Hindi as a 3rd language in school because I was on NRI status at the time. Since I took Gujarati as 2nd language in school, Hindi was only offered as a 3rd language. After ICSE, I took French.

[Ram]

Children can easily handle 3-4 languages without too much confusion.I know a child(my one time neighbour)who was learning Malayalam from her mum,english at play schooland from father ,Hindi from me(her neighbour)and a bit of kannada from the maid(not very well ). If I were in her place ...I would teach English,French and hindi .The child could learn a bit of Punjabi on trips to punjab .Let the grandparents also teach something.:--D

I was told exactly the same thing, that kids can easily learn 3-4 languages at the same time.

[Rajiv]

Yah but I was exempted from taking Hindi as a 3rd language in school because I was on NRI status at the time. Since I took Gujarati as 2nd language in school' date= Hindi was only offered as a 3rd language. After ICSE, I took French.

Interesting, never heard of that b4 LOL

[Rajiv]

I was told exactly the same thing' date=' that kids can easily learn 3-4 languages at the same time.[/quote'] Hindi-English-Marathi

[fineleg]

English-mother tongue-then whatever